As my Dom so lovingly put it last night, he loves to spank my ass! I am guessing this is a good thing! I even asked him if I needed to behave, he laughed, and said if I do he would have to punish me for that! I’m guessing he will be spanking for the entire time we are together! These are considered, funishments. If my Dom is laughing and smiling, he is not pissed off then. He’s also quite the sadist so why push it , right? wrong… It is almost a guarantee that if he gives me an inch , I want a mile. I have this bratty streak a mile wide. I love my bratty side. I see nothing wrong with it. I get to have some cute ass fun with him, make him want me even more and take what’s coming to me!!! gladly, I do like pain as well.
But when he’s mad, oh man. I know I went one step to far in some direction. I am usually looking for the exit. There aren’t any. I must either stand in front of him or kneel , however he wants me, listen to him lecture me of my infraction to his ‘many’ rules. See, I get these scathingly brilliant ideas of how to get my way, or change the meaning of what he says, to what I actually hear. It happens a lot. I hear him say I like spanking your ass, that translates to ‘ please keep being a brat!’. That is what he said, right?? when I am in real trouble, oh my god, I usually regret pushing so hard to see just where the imaginary line is drawn. I need colors, neon sign would be nice , it should read ” you are approaching dangerous territory, stop” . I have even noticed , that if he just say LOL in a text, I need to be smart enough to shut the fuck up. It means I am digging my own hole, and he will let me fall right on in. It usually ends, ‘ Now I am mad, when I calm down I will talk to you then’. then no Dom for hours. NOOOOoooooooooo. Now my mind races like a car in the Indy 500, what moment was too far? at what point should I have stopped? Why the fuck didn’t he warn me, how fair is that? If he’s not talking to me, fine I wont talk to him? How pissed is pissed, I need a scale of 1-10, 1-50, 1-100? more number we add, safer I feel! Then for the worst part, the whole mind fuck, I wait and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, wait some more until he finally graces me with his presence, tells me why he is mad, but now calm. and my least favorite… what is coming my way. I wasn’t even curious. not one little bit. So don’t tell me. I do think he likes telling me, helps with that mind fuck. Sort of like the kid who knows they are gonna get it from their parent, but waiting is worse then the actual spank. The moment they hit your ass, you built it up in your mind so much, that it hurts worse then if they leave your mind alone. But not my Dom. He’s great at that. loves for my to stew in my juices. ( not the dirty kind). I don’t like his mind fuck at all. He knows it. it must be written all over my face. He knows that once in front of him, I am quite nervous, anything can happen, usually does. He is a sadist, 100% so its not like we were going to go to the zoo, have a nice friendly chat, him buy me some cotton candy, and skip along the way. oh no, I pick the one who is the most evil bastard on the face of the earth, Charles Manson might have been slightly worse. lol. only slightly.
Some days, after seeing the aftermath on my ass, I wondered how I survived. How did I get through the sheer torture of what I signed up and he delivers? I am never sure. But I do know he will check out his handy work, make some suggestions like hes building a home and should move this line here, or that bruise would have looked lovely over there. LOL. I am usually not amused. I am thinking to myself, is he going to add more since you are apparently not completely satisfied here? I will never say those words exactly, but there is a look, one I am sure he needs never see. If my Dom ever turns psychic and can read minds, I will be running away from home! just a tidbit of info. The reason being, if he could hear what I say in my head, with each swat he delivers to my ass, as hard as he can, I would probably receive more. I am hoping that there are some subs that know what of I speak. I cannot not be the only one who does that. By the time my aftercare is coming, I am all snuggly with him, and I like him again. Now if he asks questions, don’t ask questions, I am trying to let the pain on my ass go. Do I understand why he did that? Yeah, you were mad about… ummm… now hold on a sec I remember…. I did …. no I said? …. but I promise I wont do that again…. if he would ask for specifics, I might be in trouble. shhhhhh don’t tell him.