My big secret. Shhh don’t tell Daddy

I’m multi orgasmic. No, that’s not the secret. Well it is to you, but not to Daddy! 

With my ex i think the most i orgasmed was 5. You might be thinking that’s great, why is she telling us this. When i am with my Daddy, and He does what He does!!! I orgasm into 40 and above!!! See the difference? I might not be wetting the bed or squirting, but those orgasms are real. Mentally if I’m unhappy, i can stop them, and i did for about 8 years. No ex, no other dom, spent time to bring me back to life. But Daddy did!! 

The first time we were together, i felt this sensation run through my body, it was familiar, but was not fully opened up. Once He had me in the bedroom, oh my god! I couldn’t believe it, my orgasms were back.  I was almost ashamed that my body could orgasm so much, and so hard. Daddy looked at me, the look was, ‘ what the hell was that?’ I called friends, family, the news , alerted the papers, I WAS BACK!   Sadly there were no headlines, but it was so exciting to me!

I felt so alive again. It was all Daddy. How this man could do the impossible
( i thought it was)? How did He do that?!

How did He get my body to get out of hibernation mode, or wherever it went? Did He get my mind to set it free? If i ask Daddy, He just smiles. So, either He knows and won’t say,  or He has no idea ,but He should still be proud of Himself! That man is a god!!  Damn, its nice to be back to my old self again. I don’t usually ask Daddy if He likes that my body reacts in such a way, but i love it . He loves me to beg Him to cum. He knows He’s in charge of it! He knows once He tells me i can cum, i am going for it! Its like tidal waves, one after another, crashing into huge rocks, and more behind that one. They will come in big spurts, or smaller waves of many smaller ones. I have never asked Daddy if He can feel all of that??? But He does seem to like it, once my body is rocking, shaking, It’s like I’m demon possessed, that’s  when He says ‘good girl’ the most!! That in itself makes more. Damn it! Here it goes again, yeah just thinking about it makes my body quiver and want Daddy. Now my body is so used to that ride, that every time I’m near Daddy, i want Him. Its too bad it took me so long to find Daddy, it could have been years of this. Don’t get me wrong, Daddy does stimulate my body quite well, He also stimulates my mind. He’s the total package.

Daddy, can even take me over the edge anally. If Daddy does it right, and He does! My body will get going and i feel it deep inside, swelling up, ready to release. Even from behind, Daddy will have to hold onto me and let my body react, like it does. If He touches my clit, oh god, I’m in trouble. I don’t know what the hell happens then, but his fingers on my clit, make my legs want to open wider, i have no control, i mean none. They just open all the way. I hate it, He could absolutely do as He pleases, i am not in any form of control. And because its Daddy, i cant stop Him. But my moans almost turn into screams. Oh fuck! The hardest part, is that my body will keep cumming. But i do have to catch my breath. I’m always so thankful, because Daddy will slow down, let me  breathe, then water!!!

So, you would think this is enough. It is, but one day  i decided i wanted to change things up a bit, here is my BIG secret, so i put some clit cream on, only one brand works best. And Daddy doesn’t know, until He reads this! So, if He wants to know why i didn’t tell before now. Umm, i don’t know? I tested it enough, and Daddy did notice there were times my orgasms were
‘ harder’. Yeah, that’s clit cream. Its supposed to be for women who cant orgasm. I DO orgasm, and what happens is , if you do orgasm just fine, it makes them 50 times harder. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

If He reads this, well now He will know. Lets see if Daddy asks me what kind i use? The only one that  sends me over the edge!! I sort of wonder if Daddy is gonna like this secret or not?? Or use it against me?? Damn, should have kept it a secret forever ❤💛💚💙💜

Daddy, does use my orgasms against me though, He got a toy that vibrates, He puts it right on my clit, and this doesn’t stop til Daddy says. I hate it, it sucks, horrible punishment if you are multi orgasmic. My body starts reacting to the vibration, it seems to cut right through me. I can feel this wave swelling up deep inside me, getting ready to crash, i quickly ask Daddy ‘ can i come’ , he will answer. Within seconds its upon me, that build up is releasing, my legs shake, my mind can’t think, my body is charged for many more that i can feel building. I cant help but buck hard at His cock, my whole body wants in on this action. If my head comes off that bed, you know those are the big ones, i feel every inch tighten between my legs, His hard cock still inside me, I’m pulsing and want to move, He usually has a hold of me somehow. I’m not allowed to go anywhere. He can be nice, when He notices I’m breathing to fast, he will let up, let my breathing resume to a normal pace, only to smile at me, and do it all over again. I want to scream ‘no’, but that would just encourage Him. Or Him yell at me. So, i must take it like Daddy’s good girl

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Oh that got your attention, didnt it! Lol

Friday, the 28th, was four months together. It has been unlike any relationship i have ever been in. Sex is fantastic. He reads me like a book. I crave to be submissive 100%. Friday was a great day, we both needed it. It had been a tough week.

I didnt fall in love with Him because i was desperate, lonely, or lost. I fell in love with him  because He has been the first man to really see me! Not try and hurt me. He actually wants to pick up my pieces and put them back together again. For that, im so thankful.

Recently, Hes been pushing me to go deeper with Him, in our relationship. According to highly trusted sources , that is what i need, or i might never fully submit/commit ever again. He asked if i was really ready to commit, i said i would try, He let me know there was no try. He wanted me to answer ,yes or no, right then and there, no discussing it with my girls, no thinking. I had seconds to answer. I said ‘ yes’.

So after wild ,animalistic, primal sex. We talked. He looked at me, and asked what i thought about collaring. I was somewhat shocked, as i have never been collared and i have many years in the lifestyle. It was never the right dom/master. I have my thoughts about it. I need some answers to my questions. I am intrigued by the thought of being His collared sub. I only worry, that am i a worthy sub of such an honor?

Vanillas drive me crazy

So, last night I’m with a vanilla friend, something i don’t do often. Only for the fact that it will drive me crazy and then comes, ‘ the great debate’.

She’s upset that i have to ask to have certain food/drink.

She’s upset that i have to go to the gym, and send pics.

She’s upset that i must text about where i am, where I’m going.

So, i step back. Show her the reality called ‘Her Life’. I said you wanted to get something to eat, you called your man to ok spending money ( another one of my things to ask about). You texted your man when we went anywhere, not just last night. If we go anywhere, you text or call him. You are considerate of him, and that He wants you safe.  Now, how in the world do you see me as so different from you?

Ok, so my Daddy likes to know I ate. Reason for that is I dont like to eat, plus I’m trying to make healthier choices, so He has made some things off limits. If I get into trouble it can be a lecture, spanking, punishment( lets not do that, its my ass, not hers). Then, He doesn’t like me drinking pop, just because it tastes do wonderful, which it does, its still not healthy. When we went to the gym, He likes to know where i am/ that I’m safe/ and that i actually used the gym equipment. Ok, so He’s protective, her man is to, and he wanted her safe. Now, my Daddy already knows i can be a brat, want my way, so pictures of what I’m doing is smart. Every time i try to get my way, He is two steps ahead of me. But then who am i cheating anyway, myself. But He likes control, i like Him to be in control. I trust Him. If He wasn’t paying attention, would i just pay for the gym and never go? It could happen, done that before. I really don’t see much difference. A few things , for my own safety and for my ass, i abide by His rules and submit. How is this so bad? I get incredible sex with this man, i care about Him, respect Him. Oh yeah, i believe you did treat your man that way too. My Daddy wants the best for me, in every area of my life.

I also noticed when we put ourselves down, even a little, they both get so mad.

Yet, you are upset because ‘ my man is so controlling’ . I gave Him that control, i know what I am like. I need rules, and structure. Without them I’m just wild as fuck. So, again, tell me how we are so different???  I guess i missed your point.

Lets play a game! Poke the sadist??

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Feeling kind of fun and bratty today! Thank god I’m no where near my Daddy.
So, i do think i should not be held accountable today for anything i say/do that’s : fun,bratty, SAM, rebel like, bitchy, unpredictable, unreasonable, PITA like.

Some days you need to let go…. Let yourself have some fun, its not like i ever get a day off, right? So, let the chips fall where they may.

Now, i think i know what He’s thinking? He may have sort of chuckled to himself, he is not surprised by any of this! Then He will either message or wait til we are together/ on the phone, then question my motives and i may/may not have been up to? See, i know him well! Maybe even a spanking if He thinks went to far.

Funny thing, He never likes the game of ‘ poke the sadist’, could be because He already knows who will win? Who is in charge? Who is gonna get their way?

And who would that be????
    Babygirl?                 Daddy?

The mind just boggles thinking about it! And all the possibilities!

Now, i have a busy day, some trouble to find! Friends to hang out with, a sadist to poke?!  Do i feel lucky???? 😉

Oh  and a FOOTBALL  game, go Steelers!

Ok now im worried!!! Did i just poke my sadist?

Daddy, tell me true

Daddy, will you cuddle me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Hold me tight, never let me go!

Daddy, do you care about me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Tell me a story about us!

Daddy, do you want me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Show me please!

Daddy, do you cherish me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Talk to me more please!

Daddy, do you think about me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Will you kiss me , the kind that takes my breath away!

Daddy ,do you adore me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Will you play with me ,lets have some fun!

Daddy, do i make you happy?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Can we have lots of sex, the dirty kind!

Daddy ,do you like control over me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
I love that you want me, i am only yours!

Daddy, do you desire me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
Will you explain the world to me, everything!

Daddy, do you own me?
Yes babygirl, why do you ask?
I want to know where i belong!

Because i would be lost without you Daddy.

– babygirl ❤

I found something ,something i never saw before

There is a pain that feels like its gut wrenching, and a sweetness that goes with it , it is indescribable. When you know your life had some purpose, but nothing made sense. Then you notice that something new is there. You feel alive, for the very first time. Things around you have meaning. The old you is fading away, you feel like you are in a foreign land but you also feel like you are home. Everyone around is taking notice as well. The world is sweeter, its not perfect, but you just know you are grateful for each day you have. Life is a beautiful thing! Long time friends, and your family want to know why you seem so happy, so full of life, some sparkle there that had been missing before.

When they hear the answer, they are shocked at the news, for they know you are speaking the truth, as you have never said these words before in your life.

I’m in love!

I tried to runaway from it, I just can’t, its all new to me. I am scared, but I have to see what this is, why I’m drawn to Him.

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And its football season, Go Steelers!!

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What??!!!

May the force be with you

Ok, cheesy line. But i figure i will need to use the force. My Dom  was very hurt by my recent actions, understood. I was given notice that,there will be some things changing, not surprised. There is also a punishment coming my way, that was a given.

Normally i am not curious about anything. I am actually feeling nervous, i have no other way to face this, but i am at His mercy. I want to ask, but then my thoughts take off in many directions, i realize He is a sadist, and i starting thinking of Chinese torture tactics. Hope i didn’t give Him ideas. I will then feel uncomfortable and just give those thoughts up. Remind myself that no matter what it is, it wont be pleasant, but im sure Hes aware He has to keep me alive. At least i hope He will.

So, here’s what happened…

I was permitted to be before Him. In kneeling position in front of Him. For Him to permit me, was such an honor! I missed Him so much. To be honest, the moment i saw Him, i just wanted to be in His arms, holding Him, kissing Him. I didn’t dare show one moment of what i wanted. Today was not about that. I am addicted to this Dom. He is the ONLY man ever to make me ‘want’ to be on my knees. I have a hard time with humiliation , but i trust only this Dom, to take me to the edge. He did let me know how upset He is. Which is fully understandable. I hurt Him, in the process hurt myself as well. 

When i was with Him. I felt like no matter what He asks of me, i will do it. He is who i want. I am truly right where i want to be. It just feels right. I’m so glad He showed me mercy! He even let me be with Him, let me have some of His time, He made me feel like i mattered. I have never been treated like that before. He really surprised me.

Thank you Sir