Girl time with my bff

Last night was by far one of my favorite times with my bff ‘J’. He’s been my friend for quite sometime. About 15 years now. We have been through hell and back, even for each other.

We met years ago at a church, barely knew each other ,yet we bonded instantaneously. We were asked to stand at the front of the church, we both did as asked. Then as we were standing in front a pretty good sized congregation, the pastors wife started telling everyone how we were both sinners , and we were not to come back to church, at least until we could make things right with god. Strange thing is, we formed an unbreakable bond that day, and 15 years later J. Is still gay as ever, and I’m still bisexual. We both believe in god, but not religion, and i doubt we were the only sinners that day? But that is a discussion for another day.

So, my bff arrives we always go get comfy , we know will be talking for hours. J met an incredible guy recently. What you do need to know us that J. and I have both been waiting for the perfect men. I found Daddy 4 months ago, J (not in the lifestyle) feels  he found his! I couldn’t be happier for him. We both decided about 3 years ago to date people , but not get involved ,to much,until we just knew it was right. For me, that was 4 months ago. I hadn’t really told anyone, ok my kids knew, but my girlfriends didn’t. J was sort of hurt that i didn’t tell him that Daddy and i just celebrated 4 months. But i wasn’t ready to tell anyone, its like a woman who is pregnant and keeps it under wraps until you are at a point that it’s right. Last night was the best time to tell. If you know me at all, 4 months is a huge deal. J was very happy for me and Daddy!

So, as besties we finish each others sentences, cry, laugh, get angry, happy. If you have a bff that you are close to, then you get it. As he started talking about this new man in his life, i noticed something. J was smiling, J never smiles, well not like an idiot like last night! He had that ‘ one’ night with what seems like the man he’s been waiting for. As J was telling me how their first date went, we both realized something, the men we found in our lives were perfect for us. Said almost the same things , actually a few times , it was word for word. Both J and I swear when we touch them there is like electricity. Daddy still makes me hot, my skin always reacts to His touch, even after 4 months. I would have figured by now that feeling would have died down, but it hasn’t, not even a little. J and I are wondering how we found what we were looking for at nearly the same time? But after reflection, we realized it never worked with anyone else either. No one has ever excited us until now. J has even asked me will he meet Daddy, for the first time i want the person in my life to meet the other person ( bff) who is important to me. J said he cant remember one guy that i ever wanted to introduced him to ,or that i would keep talking about, like i do about Daddy. Whats funny is that i realized i hardly talked about any other guy before Daddy, none mattered. J hated it how quickly i could go through men, and not care if i even knew their names. If i already knew they weren’t for me, why bother? J notices everything.

J knows I’m happier than i have ever been. That’s new for me! I feel it too. J can tell that Daddy is the guy I’m supposed to be with. I’m not worried about keeping my walls up, even J noticed that too! He was like
‘ wow, you really let this guy in, either it will be everything you have waited for, or fun for a while and at least you let someone in’ . Granted J said exactly what i think. I don’t worry about the future with Daddy, i just enjoy each moment. Whether its a text, phone call, or in person. Each is special to me, when you finally feel it’s the right person.

So for J and I, we are both excited about our lives, what new adventures are ahead, even with the men we have chosen. J will be moving soon, out of state. So now when we get together our time reflects on the past , and even being states apart we will always be bff’s. Its hard to let J go do his life without me. Its necessary though. So i will learn to let him go little by little, he better do my cover up tattoo before he is gone.

My thoughts go to , will i ever find a new bff? Someone i can tell everything to, no judgment, no lies, be yourself around that person. Tell my deepest darkest secrets to, well even the good ones!
I’m going to miss J. Yes i know there is email, texting, fb, twitter, he and i are connected. But no one has ever been by my side through so much. Held my hand, let me cry, scream,yell. Encourage me to keep trying. Be happy for me without being jealous. We call each other in the middle of the night, and will drive to each other, so we aren’t alone with what we are going through. Who does that? Only your bff! 

I never thought I’d lose mine, well have states between us anyway. I knew it was possible, he hates Arizona. I’m jewish, my people wandered around the desert for 40 years, I’m content! It will be tough, but then I’m a tough girl. I am looking forward to a new chapter in my life. Will i find a new bff? For the first time ever, my life is starting to make sense. Can’t wait to see where life takes me!!

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6 thoughts on “Girl time with my bff

  1. J might not be physically with you, but he’s only a phone call/drive/flight away. 🙂

  2. Shalom says:

    You will find a way. My J is just south of Daytona and i’m closer to Boston, but we make it work. Y’all will too!

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