Went off track somewhere in the desert…with Pez

I have no idea how it happened, but i definitely made Daddy mad last night. I blame it on no sleep for 2 days, as i could tell i was only capable of half listening.

When Daddy was texting me last night, i couldn’t even figure out what He was talking about, something about play partners? That was miscommunication on my part, there were people in my home talking to me, then Daddy is texting me, i was clearly distracted and not quite paying attention. Then i asked Daddy, ‘ you and i are play partners?’ His response was less than understanding. I think at that point He should know i was distracted, but Daddy cleared up where i went off track. ( i remember thinking, i have clear cut rules for play partners, you broke them all. Then i was wondering why a play partner is talking about collaring me?) After 2 days of no sleep, it caught up to me.

Then, right after the first miscommunication , here comes another one. Daddy asking me a lot of questions about something that happened to some friends, that i was feeling only minorly involved in. Daddy felt differently. From what i remember. Daddy was pissed within minutes, because how i saw things, and how He saw things, didn’t match up. Daddy feeling i am lying to Him, not good. Now to tell Him i was still so tired, i was only half listening to Daddy. I really couldn’t tell when i went off track on this one. I just know from tone of voice, He was pissed, and i am driving straight to Him. That won’t go good. Now i find myself paying more attention and wondering,
‘ what the fuck did i say?’
The words, ‘ oh fuck kept going through my mind. I never told Him how tired i was, He had no idea i had been driving that tired. He had no real idea i had not slept. Ok, friday when my girls were with me at my home, i felt safe and while they were talking and giggling, i fell asleep, for maybe a half hour. They wanted to know why, i did let them know it was my personal life.

Daddy did talk to me on the way home to keep me awake. That did help, but i could seriously feel my eyes closing. Once Daddy knew i was pretty close to home, we hung up, keeping my eyes open was my priority. That was not working, i felt my eyes close twice. Not good.

When i woke up this morning, i had fallen asleep last night out of sheer exhaustion, I remembered that i actually drove to Daddy, and i hardly remember that, hardly remember anything we said. I remembered what we were doing! Couldn’t tell you for how long?
Then i sort of remember on the drive home, Daddy saying something about me being smart, beautiful, funny but my driving scares the shit out of Him.

All of that means, He had to have figured out i wasn’t listening, or only half listening, which is not acceptable, tired or not, i should not have engaged in a conversation if i knew i wasn’t paying attention. When Daddy said think of something to give Him and He wouldn’t have me drive to Him, that might have been the better idea, but my mind was blank, when being tired, like the only think that came to mind was ‘ pez’ i can give Him lots of pez! Now how fucking tired was I ???

Now, that i finally got some sleep, had to look through my phone to make sure i finished ‘ALL’ tasks ,that Daddy wanted. They were done! Yay!
I was so afraid i forgot some. I almost did, the last one.

Question of the day; how much will i be paying for things i don’t even really remember? Things i was clearly not paying attention to. Tasks that probably could have been done earlier, but friends came over and i was not paying attention to the time, at least until Daddy texted, i was sort of thinking ‘ He will be asleep, and will never know when i send it’ , wrong again. I had been so good all week long, i lost it Friday, and now Saturday. I am supposed to see Him today, any chance that He will be so busy that it won’t happen? Possible. Slim chance, but possible. And if i do see Him, any chance this will go well. Like maybe He was tired, thought He dreamt the whole thing, and it will be over? Yeah, me either. A girl can hope.

Oh my poor ass when i see Daddy.

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