For the last four years that was my mantra. I lived by those words. I didn’t care if i knew your name, if the person was involved with someone. I just wanted to be fucked, over and over again. Used as a fuck toy. No conversation, and before the person could form any feelings, i removed them from my life, let them go, never to see them again.
Now, my life is in a happier place. I have someone i want to share it with, spend my time with Him, know His name. I care how He feels. I care if He is not feeling good. He won’t let me give up on myself. He see’s something in me, that i just don’t see. I want to have sex with Him, and Him only. I want to make Him happy. I finally told Him something i have never been able to say to anyone before, and mean it. Unless i gave birth to the person. He has met nearly everyone who means something to me. This man makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me crazy, but then makes me work harder, to prove to myself that i can do anything.
I have been used to people just walking out of my life ,when i did care. Treat me as i was invisible, worth nothing, ruined my life, or so i thought. i have never cheated on anyone. I have never tried to hurt anyone. Yet i have been cheated on many times, hurt so badly. To trust again has been a tough road.
I have this Daddy, He’s not like any man i have ever met before. We are becoming closer all the time, i do think of Daddy as my friend, my lover, my Daddy Dom. I don’t have to go look elsewhere , or think the grass is greener somewhere else, because I’m right where i want to be. I can’t explain it to anyone, how i know that Daddy is the man i want, need, and crave. Hopefully, my actions, speak louder than words. The fact that He knows me, and sees my dark side, and chooses to stay. That is all i ever needed, wanted. Someone who can see my life as the beautiful chaos that it is, and still stay, cherish,love,care for me. I long to spend more time with you, but the fact that you make me feel important, is so wonderful. I just want to show you how much i care about you, do dirty things with you/ to you.
How much i love to read your texts that you miss me. When you spend time with your kids before you see me some nights, when we first started this we made it clear that the kids were #1, we meant it, shows me our priorities are straight. I love that. I do wish to see you more, but i hope that our near future will give us more time. I still don’t understand why you chose me, but maybe i don’t need to. Maybe i just need to be yours, and that be enough.
Thank you Daddy