Which discipline will work?

He talks to himself, when He’s beating my ass, when He’s figuring out what to do with me next. He does have these light bulb moments. And then I’m nervous, but when He has a great idea ,oh my they really are a work of art.

He’s not so much into humiliation,  I think because of my past. But there have been a few times when He knew I  meant I was sorry, I put myself thru humiliation.  I have only done this once in my whole life, for Him. There has yet to be a man on this big world that could ever put me on my knees and me stay there with complete respect and admiration, even though He was so mad at hurt by me. My heart was breaking as His words cut so deep.

Recently going through a bad subdrop, I was not lovely, but I had no way to control myself. I tried meditation, music, self talk, positive thought. My sister came over, my bff came over. Nothing worked, but the 3 days, of being so out of control, were gone the moment I heard Daddys voice. I was shocked, just completely dumbfounded that something so easy worked so quickly. It showed me that I must really have given myself to Him, it was not just words.

I know I am never allowed to talk to Him like that, but I have a history of being a brat, and Daddy has a history of beating my ass. Which I don’t like, but  when it’s not fun, hurts for a while.

But there are things that just stop me dead in my tracks. Like His lectures, I absolutely  hate them, it’s mindless. But I must listen, since He asks questions  and He expects answers, He gives me no time to process what He just said, which is why I think I hate it so much.

When He stops all communication  with me. Oh dear god, for me, its like world war III. I am just seething cuz He has decided to stop talking cuz I’m being a brat. Well, that’s how it was months ago, now when communication  stops I know that it could be test. I calm myself, patiently do things I know I’m allowed to do, don’t push Him because it won’t go well. I hopefully have shown Daddy now that I turn the brat off when He goes silent with me. I wait for His lead, then He will let me know how to proceed.

BDSM is not hard to grasp, newbies I have talked to, are sure they cannot do what is asked of them 100% of the time. I don’t think they get it. The point is not He expects perfection, He expects to be in charge since He is the dominant one here. I chose to follow, He did not pick my path in the lifestyle,  I did. So, He is doing His part, then I’m expected to do mine. He leads, I follow. He gives commands, I turn it into action. He tells me what to do, I do it, no questions. Ok, maybe a few times there have been questions, but only because the message did not seem entirely clear, so a repeat or clarification  is needed, and He is quick to provide as He knows I long to serve Him.

As I was recently talking to some friends on fb. We were talking about which  punishments  works and which dont.  The corner has never worked for me, it could being I don’t like humiliation  ,but with neck/back pain it’s not conducive. He has never made a public display of me, and I hope He wont. He has put me on task before, that is effective as again He knows I will do as He asks to please Him. Lecturing, works,sigh… I hate it when He’s better at guilt trips than my jewish mother, my people invented guilt, yet a few words from Him cut me to the bone. Then when  He’s done and waiting for my response, the tears are flowing,  as I never meant for anything I said/did to hurt Him. He has of course has used instruments of torture on me, but once the pain has gone, I am forgetful.

A sub I met, said her Master cut her hair. I was speechless. She asked what I would do? I gave it some thought.  Would I return the favor and cut His?
Would I just accept it and realize hair can grows back, but this would be a tough one as I hate short hair. She mentioned quarter punishment, killer. Most don’t know what it is, it’s that old. Benches, crosses, I have been strapped to them.

By far, for me, is when He says I hurt Him. I just want Him to stop speaking. The shame I feel,my tears, and then  His eyes looking at me, are to much to bare.  I usually at this point, what to pinky promise to never do it again. I will write 1000 times ,anything He asks me to. I hate it when  I didn’t know I crossed that kind of line with Him. He doesnt put me task very often, yet it is effective. Then to make it all better, I need it to be better between He and I.

Then there’s my rules, some of which, he has never envoked the use of. I don’t dare remind Him which ones, just note I won’t like them, if He was to ever use them.

This is, of course, scary as hell to put up on my blog. He’s going to see it. Hopefully not be inspired,  no light bulb moments. Just Daddy helping me make Him happy again,  but a lot of times it’s gonna be me figuring out how to make it right. Sometimes being a ‘ middle’ isn’t easy.

But then, bdsm isn’t easy, it’s just worth it! Daddy is worth it!!♡

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23 thoughts on “Which discipline will work?

  1. Beautiful and insightful. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  2. Also, since your Daddy will be reading this, I am morally obligated as a Dom to mention that I love sharing punishment ideas and I have some pretty devious shit up my sleeve. 🙂

    • stacieinaz says:

      Well, I would ask if you would share them, being as how I am to please Daddy, in how I talk to any dominate. I ask you please ,show mercy, Daddy is sadist, and the best I have ever seen. I do thank you for even reading my blog, and for your response.

      • If part of your service to your Daddy is related to how you speak to a Dominant, I can accept such a beautiful effusive response. 🙂

        First, a point of order. It’s not how you talk to any “dominate”, it’s how you “talk to any Dominant”. Dominate is an action. Dominant is a person or role.

        Now that I’m done being a grammarnazi, on to punishments.

        One of the most intense punishments I have used is almost entirely psychological. After a major infraction (and I reserve this for the most extreme of cases), I have written my name in Sharpie Marker on the bottom of my slave’s feet in the morning. He then had to go to work and go about his day, while focusing on the fact that his behavior was the equivalent of walking all over me and my Dominance.

        I’ve never seen a slave last the whole day of that without calling, crying, and begging to be allowed to scrub it off. The lesson is very clearly learned long before the day is over.

        That would be a major infraction example. For minor infractions, I tend to make the punishment fit the crime.

      • stacieinaz says:

        That does sound as it would be effective. That would hurt me to think of hurting my Daddy that way

      • Well, I’m of course assuming that your Daddy knows that wielding such heavy psychological weapon is definitely in the high risk territory of psych punishments. If he doesn’t, I would hope that you would share this comment with him as well. Though from what I’ve heard, you seem to have a wonderful dynamic. 🙂

        There are obviously more subtle ways to enforce the same basic lesson. It’s all about adjusting things to fit your dynamic, and of course, always, complete informed consent.

  3. bemymaster says:

    I know exactly what you mean when just a few words from him hurt all the way to your core. Sometimes I rather just take the spanking because the lectures truly hurt me for hurting Him. And I love the little ending ❤

  4. missagathaarmstrong says:

    Mr F talks to Himself… for me, when He starts, i know then that i can let go – that then i can find my space… i suppose its not really the right way round, but ….

    i love your writing – it does make me giggle….

    and my lovely, i dont get to see Him very often… the last time i saw Him was in July, but the last time He visited was in september. But that time He never took my blindfold off – After He had spent time with me, He tucked me up in my little bed, still with the fold on and left quietly…. it nearly broke me.

    and now, my daughter has gone on a naval training weekend, back on Sunday then off again with my family to cornwall for half term. i am here on my own and i so so so hope that i will see Him… but i suspect that i might just have to lose the blindfold… just this time…. but maybe not – and maybe i shall just pray that He never does that again. Not too see Him was oh so terrible .

    But i live with the knowledge that in two years my daughter will leave for the navy and then i can truely be with the Man and Master i love.

    x

    • stacieinaz says:

      This touched me deeply, I can feel your pain. So sorry, but do you have that light at the end of the tunnel

      • missagathaarmstrong says:

        Yes my lovely … it shines brightly … but it is still far far away. I do hope that I shall see in sometime in the next 10 days as my daughter will be away … but one of the things about being a good slave is serving in whatever way He needs me tòo .. and right now that means with patience and a peaceful mind and heart … but oh it is so so hard x … I would wait forever just for a moment with Him x

      • missagathaarmstrong says:

        But … what makes it easier my sweetness – is reading and talking to glorious creatures like yourself x

      • stacieinaz says:

        Thank you, I am humbled by your words.

      • missagathaarmstrong says:

        Well, I left the light on last night … but He never came.. (He has His own keys)… but there is always tonight … tomorrow and the days and nights that follow … be well my lobelt and thank you for your kind and gentle words x

      • stacieinaz says:

        My Daddy has a key too!

  5. missagathaarmstrong says:

    Whoops… I meant … be well my lovely… and thank you for your kind and gentle words …x

  6. missagathaarmstrong says:

    you will have to forgive me if i have told you how He go His key. they are tied up in a black satin ribbon. and after one visit,just as He was leaving i have Him a little box, also tied in a black satin ribbon, and asked Him to only open it in the car…

    He is always slightly weary when i do this, but He also knows that i would not if it were not important to me…so He got into His car and opened the box. if i had given them to Him in my home, it would have been weird, there would have to have been a conversaton or words. This way, it was just another way of showing Him how i feel about Him. I did the same with a ring i wore. it was beautiful, silver and with a circle of amber. very battered and bruised but i had worn it for 20 years. i Him – He has been a shadow in my dreams all my life. and now… but i never want HIm to feel trapped or owned Himself. i am not good at end of relatinshiop conversations and i have never been dumped. That has always been my way. But with Mr F… its different. i will never leave Him, but He may want to leave me – and if that terrible day were to come, He msut only give back my ring. and then we shall part and we will both keep our honour and dignity. in my heart i believe when one has had enough… it is enough. you can try but some times are never the same .

    im not sure i would take back my keys… just in case

    be well lovely girl, smle your because smile… oh – i wrote a post about keys if you were interested. let me know and i shall find it – also about the shadow who has followed me most of my llife.

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