The gas company guy shows up at my house, he’s like 100 yrs old. Starts explaining what hes gonna do.
I got it , stop the mindless drivel old man. I could have said it in 2 seconds.
Putting propane in the tank. Thx I got it!
He gets done collects the payment, then starts asking questions…
Gas guy: ” do you have a pilot light that I need to relight?”
Me: ” I have no idea, but you can look”
Gas guy: seems to be lost with the stove he’s so clearly worried about. Finally manages to get burners lit, says
“Nope you one of them new fancy stoves”
Me: ” good to know”
Gas guy: “So, I heard you had a gas leak? ”
Me: ” it wasn’t actually a leak, but yes some idiot in my home turned the knob and gas leaked out of the stove ,into the home” no real gas leak.
Gas guy: “ok, cuz we were gonna have to look for a leak”
Me: ” you already put the gas in, why on earth would you put gas in if you thought there was a leak?”
Silence, crickets chriping….
Gas guy: ” was everyone ok?”
Me: well I did keep breathing it in, then even stuck my head in the oven to find where it was coming from”
Gas guy: ” little lady you should never do that, you could have been killed, don’t you know gas kills people?”
Me: I’m being a mean,fasicious brat right now, ” Gas kills? Even from men?”
Then I say; ” that smell was so bad I was gonna light a candle”
Gas guy: mouth falls open ” little lady, never light anything near a gas leak, you would have all been blown up”
Me: shaking my head, this man really thinks I’m stupid.
Gas guy: ” little lady, the CO2 alarm on your wall didn’t work, because it’s a propane gas, not regular gas, that’s the wrong alarm”.
Ok, the last one got me, I was puzzled, then figured I will just ask Daddy!!
He proceeds to leave, turns around, for the first notices I have boobs, he’s staring, and finally looks up like he’s done nothing offensive,
Gas guy: well, umm yeah ok
Me: slam the door…
He was old, so being a brat, I guess he’s been immunized against it, or that was not in the in the wild wild west, way back when. Weird man, but I have gas… oops, that sure doesn’t sound good! I have propane in the damn tank , now I can cook again. Microwave food, sucks ass. I’m out!!