Daddy has been pushing me, a lot lately. Granted I don’t have to understand why. His reasons are His alone. Nothing has to be discussed with me first, that is how this goes. Well I’m not new to that. I’m the slave, He’s the Master.
I am not new to the lifestyle, so the concept of breaking the submissive is not lost on me. I have just never had the right person before. I am sure I do now, that makes a difference.
He has pushed very hard recently, I understand that more is coming. Last week, He let me know that what was about to happen, will happen regardless of my acceptance, He is in charge and not me, that I might as well calm myself, trust Him, and be ready for more. His words didn’t fall on deaf ears, not this time. I fully paid attention. I did have a little bit of alcohol to tone down my nerves. He respected me enough to let me know everything going on. He reminded me how I am the woman He loves and desires, He won’t hurt me,I just need to trust Him completely.
Wow, it was a most difficult task. I was sure something would go wrong, that no one deserved my trust. He proved me wrong. I am so glad He did. I needed this so much. It could only happen with Him. I can trust Him. I have been trusting Him 95%. It’s that last percent I thought would kill me.
It didn’t I have more respect for Him now, then I did. That is a new concept for me. I love Him more if that’s possible. If He called me and said ,
” doing that again, trust me”
Ok, I would probably not hold a parade for Him, but I would say ,that by the way He treated me, I would be able to really listen and stay calm. Trust Him!
It hit me, while processing, that if He wanted to really hurt me, He could have already, many times. But if He is working so hard to build my trust, then He must have every intention of building me up and keeping me in His life. To be the slave He wants to serve Him, the babygirl who drives Him crazy. See, I have been paying attention.I do love my Daddy! I can trust Him. I know He’s going to want to see it even more. I’m fine with that. He really is quite a man. I’m proud of who He is , how He is. It is more than sex with us. The only reason the sex is still so amazing is because the trust grows , communication gets better, our bond is much closer.
Then I realized something else He had been saying to me. I am definitely listening more. I had been angry about 2 things,He has been patient for me to drop it, He gave me answers, I had to pay attention, I wasn’t ready to before He pushed me.
Now, I see it perfectly clear. Where there was anger and frustration, it’s gone. I did get someone trying to fuck with my head friday, that brought on some brattiness. But I managed to calm myself without Daddy. His voice calms me down in minutes, He was paying attention to me, just not giving in. He made me work on this by myself. He would only respond when it really was needed. I still felt cared for, and loved.
But this new push of His, changed something.
Daddy IS IN CHARGE, I’m not to forget again. I don’t know how big His patience is with me, I hope He see’s how hard I’m working to catch up to where I need to be. I may not be new to the lifestyle, but where I am at right now, is new. Last time I got to a point like this I was 17 yrs old. I bowed to my Master, to serve Him. Did I really understand that then? no. I did as I was shown from the other slaves. I did all to be pleasing since that was the example set before me. Now, I am a grown slave, who is also His babygirl, with some brat thrown in there. It hit me why that first Master liked teen girls, they like sex, they like to go with the crowd. Now it’s just Daddy and me, no crowd. Yet still a Master before me, who would rather be served then have to teach me. I do need Him to teach me, there has been some damage since being 17.
I can see some strengths in me that I like, but I want to see where Daddy takes me. I want Him to show me. Let’s face it, if I knew how to change things I would have done that already. Daddy seems up to the task of setting me up for change, and to be His completely how He wants me. That shows me the measure of the man. He is one hell of a man. I feel excited by this recent push of His. I’m scared to. But I think Daddy knows this, but plans on keeping it going in the direction He leads us.
I hope I get to know at some point, what all of this was for. I know not to ask. Just stay calm, trust His process. My anger is gone. I want to please Him in every way, so I hope He will show me how. I do not want to fail, I don’t feel Daddy wants me to. I feel He loves me, beyond what I can understand.
Thank you Daddy