Lost, somewhere in Arizona

( This writing is for friend of mine, he just broke up with his fiance of 2 years)
Love ya big kid. Here if you need me!

How did I get here? I just keep asking myself the same question over and over. The answer never comes. I’m a man, but where is it written that I have no emotions.  I feel. Right now I feel them all, anger, hate, love, rage, sadness, jealousy, envy.

You have made me into this mess of a man. I feel I have nothing to offer anyone. I cannot even fathom the thought of another woman in my life, I’m sure that will come in time.

I woke up this morning, elated. I’m not your whipping boy any longer. I don’t have to listen to you bark commands, see you mistreat our own son since you never appreciated  being a mother. I won’t have to listen to you bitch about either of our friends or family members again. Just for the record, make sure you understand  princess that you drove us apart, not anyone else. With your incessant jealousy, at least now I get why. Because how many guys did you have behind my back?  It makes furious to no end that I gave up talking to my friends that were girls. But you never had to give up guys. Why the double standard?

Now I have put you on your merry little way,  go ahead replace me. I will gladly open the door for you, as I am a gentleman,  but you won’t be walking back through it darlin. You made your choice. Go get him tiger. I did love the irony of the situation. It was quite amusing to me. That the very man that you cheated with is not the one you will find solace with. You can imagine my smile over that one. You think it would hurt, but I was numb for so long as you dug those knives in my back. Now to get them removed permanently.  As you go with them. I would say I wish you well, but I cannot. I was willing to live my life with you, give you my name, have a family. You acted like that was the dream we shared, only to smash it on the ground as it was nothing.

So you know, now it is nothing. I can walk away too. Find a new dream, new path. It’s going to take time to heal. I expect that. But once I am me again, you will still be the same cheating asshole bitch who started all this. Fuck you and all your pathetic attempts to get me to forgive you, again.

How does the saying go. Fuck me over once, shame on you. Fuck me over twice, shame on me. Fuck me over the third time, oh yeah there shouldn’t have  been a third time. You fucking whore.

I may have to share my son with you. But don’t mistake my niceness for weakness you cold hearted bitch.

It’s seriously to late,  buying pop won’t do it. Making favorite  dinner won’t do it. Cleaning our home won’t do it. Trying to make pleasant  conversation  won’t do it. Even taking your clothes off near me, that really didn’t do it. All I did was pack a bag and left. There’s no more going back you ungrateful  piece of shit. I loved with all I had. Hopefully I grow from this and find the one who appreciates me.i am sure I will. I’m in no hurry. I have my life to live and a path before me. This is an exciting time. You have to watch me live my life, be successful , and you will still probably be a piece of shit when I’m done. You do understand that im still wondering how you call him a friend, when he so clearly wants to fuck you. What guy calls his friend ‘ babe’, ‘ love’, reminds you to get rid of mssgs, calls himself your secret, you made plans to meet in secret. Bet you thought I would never find out. Sort of have your cake and eat it too. No way princess. Karma kicked your ass, I kicked it to the curb. Buh-bye.

Good luck with you life, stay out of mine, unless my son needs me.

I noticed today, the sky is bluer, the birds are singing, air I breathe is sweeter. I’m going to be ok!!

Rant over-

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