I know I talk about my Daddy all the time. But today I want to really delve into what it is about this mere man that makes me have this desire to serve Him, call Him Master or Daddy. How does a submissive come to that conclusion.
For starters He chose me. I used to think it was me who wanted Him, but He corrected that! I also noticed I brought my baggage with me, and He accepted me with all of it. After months He has been patient, but now He notices I am ready to dump my baggage of the past, I feel ready! I want to show Him that He did not make a mistake when He chose me. I will not waste His time either.
My only regret is that with my past I scare are very easily, and then run. This has been an area that has tested His patience like nothing else, I will apologize all He needs me to, I was wrong to run. He has proven He wont hurt me. Even with a situation that I didn’t want to go through. I didn’t want to just relax, listen to my Master, and trust the process. I wish now I had. He has not lied to me, He has been transparent so my trust could grow. I know He has gotten angry with me, but part of me thinks it’s not so much at me, but at doms of the past, and a lovely exhusband (sarcasm). His patience has paid off. I am going through so many changes all at once. I refuse to stay where I was. I want to grow, I want to grow with Him. I am all His, heart,mind,body, soul. There is not one part of me that refuses to kneel before Him. I am proud to kneel before Him, show Him, only Him my reverence for all He has done for me, to me. All the time He surprises me.
I’m surprised because I don’t think anyone ever saw me before. He reads me like a book. He’s caring, even when He’s upset with me. He uses those moments to show me how to be better for Him, exactly what He wants from me. I cannot know this unless Master teaches. I am an eager student. Teach me Master, fill me with thoughts that you want me to have. Teach me the ways that please you. It is an honor to be called ‘ good girl’ by you Master, as it is not something you say constantly, like empty words, they are given by you, at the right time.
I can honestly say, He had His work cut out for Him. I was like one of those beautiful wild horses, that run free. You hope to catch one, be near them, run with them. Only Master did catch me, he got my wild ways to calm down ,He did not take them away completely, He let me be me. He knows when I need to run wild, but He always holds the reigns. I have rules, structure, curfew, I get disciplined. But He still builds me up, makes me feel like the most beautiful creature that has ever walked this earth. He owns me, fully, in every way. I love that.
I used to worry that one day He would wake up, and just feel like I am to hard to handle. He has not. Just trust the process, trust Master. I have little by little. He has now said, ‘ you are stronger, we will be moving our relationship into new phases’. He didn’t leave. He seemed to have no intention of leaving, yet this new path we are on. He stops to let me catch up. In reality, I have never been here before. If I did, I have no memory of it. It’s like being in a foreign land, I don’t speak the language,or know the customs, I am to just keep my eyes on my Master, and trust the process. As I walk on the path, behind Him , two steps as a good slave should. I see Him standing in front of me. Patient, bigger than life, He is my everything, my guide, my protector, my Daddy. The babygirl in me, gets so excited! I want to know where we are going, who we will meet, is there any fun to be had. That’s when He looks at me to get back in line, and be quiet before Him. He even recently said to me, ‘ we are going through the process, but I must go slow with you’. When I speak to my girls, they want me to be blunt with Master, and just tell Him to let’s get this going, I am done being patient. This is where I giggle with them, As I know my Master, my Daddy. If I were to address Him like that , He would not be amused, and even wonder if I should be around such subs. He would also make me wait longer. Only Master is on charge, only Master decides when we make a move. He leads, I follow. How does this concept get lost on my girlfriends? Do their Doms/Masters let them pick the process or the pace? My Master is not about to give me the lead. Nor do I want it, I would be lost, that is not my place.
I am to be two steps behind my Master whom I love very much. That feeling gets stronger as we keep growing together. I like bonding with my Master. I don’t need to mention the sex, as you can go through my writings and figure out real fast how much I enjoy Him that way as well. But for the sex to stay as fucking incredible as it is, there must be a strong connection for us. We do work on that. Only because it’s worth it. I am right where I want to be in my life. I am completely happy, for the first time in my entire life. I love who I am as I am His. I find I have this pride of being His.
I love you Master.