Waiting in the wings

I have this need, I need to be able to feel that you need me in your life, as much as I need you in mine. I hunger for you.

I don’t like to wait, but for you I will be patient and wait, I have been. It was a gift I could give to you. For you are that important. In life, sometimes we must wait, be understanding.

Now. Right now, I need a gesture, a sentence, a look, your voice. Something that says you need me, something that says you noticed I waited. Something that tells me you are right where you want to be. That love knows no bounds, wherever we are, that is where love abides. Be with me, standing before me, as I kneel before you.

We are as intimate as two can get. You have seen my body, and my naked soul. Most cannot see the real me. I hide her, protect her. No one shall pass. But with you, it felt safe, to let you see the real me. In hopes that you wanted to mingle your soul with mine, in some kind of forever. 

This love grows slowly, as it should. Anything worth having, worth hanging on to, must be protected, cared for. Let it grow stronger,  with trials and tribulations,  that will make it as steel.

I feel I have shown you my world, my real self, and all that you needed to do was take it, consume me, own me. You did. I cannot say the same, I feel a distance that comes from being in the wings. I want to shout to the world, tell all; ” I love this man”. Yet I am silenced. As a secret, waiting in the wings for that time. Please give that to me which my heart wants.

When will we be able to let it be known. I have no knowledge of when. I hope that this will not come as a surprise, but sooner rather than later, as I am losing faith some days.

If you can give me the greatest gift , money cannot purchase, it only comes from a pure heart. Please close the door on the past, let’s really start to be an us. If not now, when?  My love, you have all of me, do I have all of you? I am reminded by your messages, they give hope. But the present reality paints a somewhat different story. I want two to collide, make it so.

As my heart cries to be with you, I know I cannot. I have much to decide, much to think about. Many tears to cry, in a  silent lucidity.

Show me my love,  show me the way. Take my hand, guide me, be the one who I know is there, my strength. For if it’s not so, I will be heart broken, perhaps just close to death. I know what I want, now I must wait for a sign. Do you feel it too?

Oh how we count the days, hours, months. But do they really belong to us. I wish it to be so. For you my love, missing you will not be easy, but waiting in patience. All I can do. You have me, all of me. I need you my love. I need all of you.


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