When He found me, i was broken , He picked up all my pieces. He put them in a safe place while He finished gaining my trust, and broke off more pieces , til I was broken completely. No one has ever taken such great care of me. How do you say ‘thank you’. As a Master/Daddy He’s just doing His job. He’s very good at it.
Yet He has been delicate at times, I had no idea I was in the process, there are days when it hurts like hell. He is truly wise to know when I’m ready. One true Master, like none I’ve ever seen. It is one of my favorite things about Him, believe me there are many. I do thank the universe that I got lucky , blessed, fate stepped in. Whatever you want to call it.
Have you ever felt like the baggage inside was in suitcases, like you can just pick them up and keep carrying them with you. Well, I used to do that. I have decided to unpack. I completely and utterly gave all of me over to my Master. I seriously didn’t know He was going to be my Master. I knew He was a great Daddy, my Daddy! But I thought we were mostly Dom/sub. I guess that is why I’m confused. I’m not quite sure how He did it, but He found my slave side, and dusted her off and put her back in position. She had been left behind so long ago. I was never going to display that side of me again. Yet He found it, breathed life into it. She is starting to shine again, wow it has been so long. But Daddy knows best.
I sleep like a baby, when He has His arms wrapped around me. That too, hasn’t happened for a long time. There are so many things that I’m thankful for.
Such as, I know I have exhausted Him and He has the patience of a saint. Hopefully He could tell that’s how hurt I have been. I am ready for anything that we will go through, with Him by my side, I can face it. I don’t have to he alone. I recently had to deal with ‘her’. This was my hardest struggle yet, she never takes no for an answer, always gets her way. For me to not back down took everything, I wanted Daddy to bail me out. But I think we both knew I needed to this , no matter what. The end result was her blessing. Only 3 people know what this means, but the fact that she listened, was priceless to me. I think Daddy knew I had it in me to do the iob. Now, I do. I see that Daddy has been giving me strength. I have even faced a few enemies along the way.
I would love to see where I will be at 3 months from now, 6 months . Wherever I am, I know Daddy will be there! Guiding me, being my anchor, my confidant, and as long as I don’t talk to Him with a smart mouth, I hope to avoid the disciplinarian in Him. I need to not push like I have. I don’t want Daddy to think I’m not happy, I’m very happy. The bratty ways are coming undone little by little. They need to go for me to be able to give myself over completely. There is no room for a brat, when you serve Master. Him having me on a short leash also means He is done with the brat. Now to show Him I’m really trying my best.
I stopped biting my nails. I am trying to not complain over the changes, I still am not loving the cooking nearly every night, but my kids do. I was on task, and it was fun! I go to the gym before I start acting lazy, better choice. I am nicer to my enemies. I am getting more into grooming, for Daddy. I have a ring and a slave day collar to wear, to show the world I belong to Daddy, I have remembered them most of the time. I am working on the not shopping thing, Daddy won’t let me fail. I can trust Him. Thank you Daddy for seeing my strengths and weaknesses, and helping me to change things. There are still more areas that need improvement, but now that I am not allowed choices. Daddy makes them all. That was hard at first, I wanted to fight Him, I embraced it, like I had a choice, and now I am more quiet in my mind. I feel free. That is hard to explain, if you have never been a sub/slave.
Daddy and I have not had the official talk, as of yet. But I think He’s done with my sub side too. It feels as if I may have moved to a full on slave. I am allowed thoughts and opinions, my only answer to what He says is “Yes Sir”. He does not treat me like a doormat. He listens, but ultimately chooses for me. I thought maybe He hated me since He took over everything, but He has been more loving. I think He knew my world sort of caved in when He took over. Everything in my world became His recently. My friends looked puzzled, their big complaint was ” but you were only joking around”. They only heard one side, my side defending myself. When I told the whole story they were actually on His side, and said, “wow, you are a brat. Why are you a brat? You are lucky He’s been so lenient with you”. Trust me, I know. The only reason I mention this, is that some of you are new and I get questions. Not every Dom/Master needs to take that kind of control. It was a bad week, I was spiraling out of control, plus the brat part of me showed up. What else could Daddy do? To let me continue would have been wrong, I was on a mission to take over, He had enough. I’m sorry it had to come to.a showdown.
** picture it**An old Arizona town, dirt streets. The showdown would be at day break. Daddy vs. Babygirl. The crowds gathered round to see the scene in this dusty little town. The babygirl had run this whole town, for a while. But there was a new sheriff in town, Daddy. As day breaks, there are two shadows standing on a long ,dusty road. One side a man, Daddy, standing tall, arms crossed. No look of fear, it’s not in His vocabulary. The other side the most adorable babygirl you have ever seen, skipping closer to Daddy, running her smart mouth. Daddy, standing there making demands , ” this town ain’t big enough for the two of us babygirl”, and letting her know who is boss now. While she smiles sweetly, those big brown eyes that pull you in. She felt like she could win. The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, “wanna bet” . The whole townsfolk gasped in horror. They had never seen a babygirl try to win before, but had she really? Once Daddy and babygirl were face to face, He reached for her, had a good grip and pulled her close to Him. She fought her hardest. But in the end, that little lady was over His knee, willing to give up and promised she had. Daddy didn’t want to do this showdown again. So He took over the town, the people cheered, they had lived with the cute tyrant for far to long. As He was congratulated by all, she walked two steps behind Him, with tied hands that He held onto, He gagged that babygirl so He didn’t have to listen to her smart mouth, and He was sure her sore, red ass would remind her not to mess with Him again, it was His town now. **
Now each day, as I give Him his morning text. Daddy knows my itinerary for the Day, I must ask permission to get my Day started, a picture of how I’m dressed. Then I may move through my
day. This has kept me humbled ,as I don’t want to push Daddy. I find when I’m writing, my smart mouth goes to my thoughts. Should I let those come out here, I doubt it. Daddy see’s all, He hears all, He knows all. He still knows I’m not perfect, but never asked me to be. He knows I might screw up, but when you are genuinely trying there should be a result. I’m there.
Thank you Daddy, I feel the love you have for me, it’s evident. I love you Sir. More each day!