I know I hit on this topic recently, scroll through my writings, it’s there. So is the ceremony of the roses.
For me, collaring is a touchy subject. My own thoughts about it, and many I know in the lifestyle, are pretty much the same. Don’t collar or accept a collar, until you understand completely what it’s all about. The way I see it, it’s like accepting an engagement ring, you and your Dom should be close, very close. Maybe you have both decided that you want to be together long term, it does not necessarily mean you will marry. That is what the ‘ceremony of the roses’ is about, as an alternative to marriage.
If you have known your Dom for 2 weeks, would you accept a collar? Meaning… if this was a vanilla man ,would you accept an engagement ring? I know of one couple, they were married after only 9 days of meeting each other. To this day, they have been married 14 yrs. It has been stressful,but worth it. ( their words). This is not the norm, most won’t succeed. It can be sort of a hit and miss. The reason we stress to take your time.
This is why we strongly push for you to take your time. Look at your relationship from all angles. Are you both happy? Do you want the same things? How do you and your Dom deal with arguments? (If you tell me you never argue, I will wonder if you are a doormat, or something else going on. As no relationship is without arguing.) But it is how you both handle the arguments. My Daddy and I are not perfect, that’s unrealistic, but we do care enough about each other to deal with any issues that come up. Hopefully in a respectable manner, as we do both love and care for each other. We have been together long enough that walking away from each other is not in our vocabulary any longer. And rightly so, if you have been together for a good chunk of time then you should know how to approach any subjects that need work. Or like other friends of mine, they meet once a month, go over any problems, infractions, things that need work or repair. I love this idea. They dont let it go for to long. It’s just the important.
If you are not strong enough as a couple, or cannot respect the person you are with, while arguing or not, then why on earth would you go for such a deep commitment? I hope you rethink what you are about to do. There is no rush, and if it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be.
I know of 2 ways to be collared. The submissive can go to her Dom, ask Him to consider their relationship and if He deems her worthy enough then please consider collaring , this is at her request. The other is, the Dom talks to you about collaring when He feels He’s ready for this level of commitment, once He knows you are both on the same page, it is up to Him when He presents you with a collar. It should also be discussed if it will be a more public ceremony, private ceremony, or be connected with a wedding/or ceremony of the Roses. **ceremony of the Roses, is actually centuries years old, before weddings cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, before clergy was involved, this ceremony was the norm. The couple was essentially married in a way, it is deep commitment, and it does involve a collar now, before it was just an exchange of rings. But make it your own. Hire a photographer, if you will be with this person long term, then you will only be collared once, you may want to keep the memory of that day. In the lifestyle you can even find someone who will officiate the public ceremony, that is ,if you wish to make it more elaborate.
I hope I have made it clear for what collaring is about. What it is, what it isnt?? Please be mindful of our ways in bdsm. We take this step very seriously, we don’t enter into lightly. No, I don’t have info on where to get your collar, sorry. Try online!
* it has come to my attn that there are predators in our midst, they will prey on the weaker ,fairer sex. Make you feel special and quickly collar. This is not normal for the lifestyle. I do not enjoy hearing about things like this. Some females have come to me, very upset, about this happened. 1. It is your self esteem. If you do not love you, how can you expect anyone else to love you. 2. Know your worth! If you know you are His treasure then by all means ,let Him collar you, be His. Enjoy your life together! Still take your time, May all blessings be on you both!
Good luck on your journey through bdsm. I do caution, that if you know nothing about the lifestyle… relationship, collaring,hitting, how to be dominant, how to be submissive. Then it’s time to find out! Learn before you do something that you don’t understand.
A word of caution to keep in mind: if you can be collared, you can also be uncollared. If you do not understand that either, please go learn.