Just what I needed…

Master has been angry with me for a week. So time without Him was killer, but I knew the moment I was allowed back in His presence it would be hard for me. I have never screwed up this badly before. I was not concerned about my actions, until He was quiet on the phone. It took several days to get back on track.  I knew it would happen in His timing, not mine. As angry as He was ,I didn’t dare ask when I would see Him until He told that information. 

I was allowed to be in His presence yesterday. It was scary for me, since He had never been this angry before. I knew He had self control, but could He still love me as much as before.

From the moment He entered, He took control. He had His huge hands on my head, soon He had me by the hair, His cock heading down my throat. I was gagging. He showed me in seconds that He was in control of the very air I was breathing. He showed mercy, after what He felt was the right time frame. I didn’t resist because that would just piss Him off further. But He wouldnt kill me, just show me im not the one in charge, not even a little. Still having me by the hair, He guided me up off the floor. He usually will have me put a collar on in His presence,  to be denied that privileged was the worst. I thought of my actions days ago. I didn’t deserve my collar. It’s a sign of respect,  care, love. I acted like He was nothing. I didn’t like this feeling at all. I love being collared for Him, in His presence, being reminded who I belong to. I quickly had tears for I love my Daddy, my Master beyond words, was showing my anger worth this…no. just writing this now, I have tears.

He used my body at first, anyway He wanted. I am His property. Then He started talking to me. Whether we face each other, or from behind, if He talks ,I  listen. He reveals more at that moment about how He feels about me, sees me. And He will ask questions,  I have to answer quickly without hesitation.  I did as I know how He wants things done. I was to afraid to ask to cum, I couldn’t handle it if it was denied, I was already crying.

He stops and turns me around to face Him. Now He can see my tears. I hide my face from Him, actually He allowed it. He knew how much I hate to cry, He let me feel however I made myself feel. I put myself through more shame then He gave. I felt like a complete  failure as a slave, His slave. He gave back to me, that which I lost a few days ago.

He did the best for me in the hardest moment. He made love to me. He gave to me. He loved me.  He spoke of how much He loved me, in that moment it was all i could feel, which made me cry more. I felt i didnt deserve that, but my Master did. Any Master might start off with punishing a slave, you would have every right. But my Master is the best I have ever had. I never want another, for what He did was priceless. He chose to reconnect with me first,  talk to me, show me my errors and tell me what He expects the next time, and as long as we are together. He did let me know to expect a punishment  worthy of my crime, but He reminded me I was fully loved. I was His, always will be. It won’t change. The sex was phenomenal,  but the connection I craved. I longed to just hold Him close, and He let me. The tears just flowed. He didn’t stop them, or deny me those. I needed to know I still had His care, His love, and His respect . I won’t try to take that lightly ever again.

I am to see Him the next few days. On His timeframe, His will to be done. His slave to do exactly as He says, without complaint, or being negative in any way.  He always tells me what’s expected, I will know from Him the moment He speaks that this moment is like any other, that I know my place. That I understand why I am getting every mark that will be on my body. Every last bit, I brought on myself. That He thought about how to make the punishment fit the crime, He is a fair Master. I do dread what is coming, but I know once it’s done. I paid the price for even forgetting my place. I cherish that too, even as painful as it will be. I know it’s necessary for the process.  I will do as I’m told. To show Him my love and respect for Him, as He has shown me.

I adore my Daddy, my Master. He may never know I have even more respect for Him for holding me accountable.  I’m guilty. I’m His, but I’m very much loved. I want forever with Him. He let me know that He still wants that too.

Thank you Master, I love you so deeply,  even I don’t understand  it myself.

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