Wild side, peaceful side. Which one wins…

Every once in a while,  I was feeling like I have so much energy, I needed to let go and just go wild for the night. In the past, this hasn’t been such a good thing.  I wouldn’t know where I would wind up for the night, I wasn’t safety concious either. It was more like, just let it go for the night, drink my ass off, fuck whomever. This was not a good way to live, nor was I happy.

I took last summer off from everything, so I could figure out how to change that. Being with Daddy, that wild feeling doesn’t arise so much, and if it comes up, not as strong. That’s a good thing. I can honestly say, I like that I’m not destructive in my life now, I have other people to take care of, so that keeps me focused. I like being responsible, I like taking care of other people.

I also think Daddy keeps me busy enough, that I shouldn’t be doing the wrong things anymore. I don’t like punishments.  I don’t Him mad at me. I would much rather just get funishments from Him! And enjoy living my life. I have much more joy in the last year and a half. That has been very important to me. Living life, should be just that, joy and happiness. Looking forward to each new day, with a smile, being grateful.

In my year off I learned about positive affirmations. This helps transform your mind. I can leave negativity behind, I even had people in my life that needed to go. Since dating my Daddy, there were more that needed to go. I’m not afraid to do that when something is wrong, or just plain toxic, it needs to change.

I am not religious, ok, very few moments. I’m more spiritual. I like my life this way, it’s more peaceful. I learned about Buddhism,  and the fact that they truly are peaceful, no one blowing shit up and claiming to be nice,
they really are.

I learned about kabbalah. Another very peaceful experience.  Between Buddhism and Kabbalah,  they are not religions so much, as a way of life. They do not push it down your throat. They don’t come knocking on your door. You can study them or not, you are of your own free will. No one telling me I’m going to hell. Just pure peace, love, and joy. I must say it was exactly what I needed. I have tried church, many times. I won’t go back to any church. I only return to my synagogue for high holidays. Even they don’t push anything down my throat.  Which is such a nice feeling.

I don’t plan on going back to any church, or seeking out religion.  I think I have what I need. I’m not Buddhist or a kabbalah, I’m just me. With more happiness then ever before. I still like my positive affirmations.

I did also learn about ‘the secret ‘. There is more than meets the eye there, plus to really understand it, one must go on a journey, they left out some very good points on the cutting room floor. Those are the things you must figure out yourself.

My all time favorite,  is Dr. Emoto. If you have no idea who he is, or about his work, then you have missed some important things in life. But that will be your decision.

Good luck in your journey in life. It’s supposed to fun, adventurous,  not a destination. Hopefully you are living life to its fullest each day, no regrets.


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