A look at myself

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I agree with this meme. I found it, loved it. I also thought about its meaning for a while. Do I apologize to my Master for the same things? Not usually, but one thing did ring out that I’m in trouble about quite a bit. Being a brat. I might get older each year, but I refuse to grow up.

I do think , after much much thought, that maybe the babygirl side of me is very selfish, and self centered. It does seem to put me in a mood when I want my Daddy, but He’s busy. Nothing brings it out more than I can’t have what I want. The brat soon appears. In the real world, I couldn’t act like that way. So why should I be able to with my Daddy.  I shouldn’t. 

I have been thinking recently that maybe there is a way to keep part of my babygirl side, leave the brat behind ( I will need His patience ), the parts I want to keep are how much I adore my Daddy, being a playful kitten with Daddy, showing Daddy lots of love and attention.  I don’t see these as bad qualities. There are parts of our babygirl world that are just not conducive to being His slave. I need the two to work together. I don’t want to hurt Him because I didn’t get my way. In reality, or vanilla, I’m a grown woman and I really do love this man, for the moment I’m upset that our schedules didn’t meet better so we could see each other.

I realize the longer we are together, I really do crave more time with Him. This  is not His fault that He’s so damn irresistible. For now, He does try to stay the night, at least once a week. We yry to see each other as often as we can.The brat wants every night ,but 5 would be good. That is a real thought, but He cannot do that, and I understand that. The bratty babygirl doesn’t like it when our plans change, or He’s just so tired that He could handle some downtime, that part in me wants to see it as rejection. It’s not, He’s human, and works very hard, He’s pulled in so many directions each day, when does He get time to just breathe? Last night we were supposed to have a date night, we don’t get those often, but it doesn’t bother me, I will take time with Him any way I can get it!  I heard this tone in His voice,  in His silence. I felt so bad that I was trying to get my way. So, I did what was best for Him. Called off our date night. He was always a text away all night long, but I didn’t want to abuse that either. He seemed like He was just frustrated,  and trying to do our date night for me. You gotta love a man , when you know He’s tired as hell, was just so very sick. He misses His daughter, loves me, and would like to sit there and breathe. I didn’t take it personal.

I then did what was best for me, called my bff and said I’m bored, Daddy is worn out, let’s go have some fun! Of course she was bored too, we had so much fun together. We had some Mexican food, our favorite.  Then we went to some stores, I watched her shop(not that fun for me, but she got some cute stuff). Then we went to the movies, we saw ‘Dirty Grandpa’. We laughed so hard we had tears, funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time! Now I want to take Daddy, I know He loves to laugh too. I am usually able to provide thst sort of entertainment for free (blonde moments).

The one thing I can say, my Daddy makes the effort to really tell me how He is doing, so I don’t feel rejected  ( thank you Daddy), that is communication, I am getting much better at telling Him how I’m doing as well. I like how every time I wonder how close we are, He shows me. It’s like He reads my mind.

How this thought process started… last week I really needed to see Him. It had been way to long for me. I got very bratty.  I apologized again, for being a brat.  But this time He let me know how much that hurt Him,  see as a babygirl I see only my side, what I want, how much I miss Him, I didn’t even stop to think that my actions could have hurt Him. Immediately I was in tears. I didn’t seem like an apology moment any longer, but change the problem moment, stop disrespecting Him.  My Daddy has told me to many times how He hates the bratty part. Yet I was listening, but didn’t know how to change it. I didnt ask Him for help either. I tried to hold it back.  Now I can see His side, how many times does a Daddy need to feel hurt by the same thing. It shouldn’t happen.  I really am sorry for hurting Daddy, but the best way to tell Him, is to show Him. So I will be working on that.

I think I am doing pretty good so far. I was upset about not spending time with Him last night, but I refused to try to get my way, or be a brat. I came up with a plan.  I knew Daddy would let me spend time with my bff, as long as I behaved myself, I did! My new thoughts in my head are… is this pleasing to Daddy? Will this make Daddy happy?

So, these thoughts replace the old bratty ones. I want a long time with my Daddy, the rest of our lives. I want it to be great for us both, so change is needed. Daddy needs to know I’m putting old things away (brat). Finding new ways to serve Him, with my whole heart, in every way! Well, I am His slave first and foremost. I am a happy slave to my Master,  I also want to be a happy babygirl to my Daddy. Knowing I hurt Him, I haven’t been happy. I’m a,smart babygirl,  I love love love my Daddy! This is the lifestyle I have chosen. So I embrace it. I’m not a doormat, but I am proud to be His slave, His babygirl. Learn the difference for yourself.

I love you very much Daddy! I hope it shows, and I know you will be sharing with me anything else that needs improvement,  thank you Sir.

His humbled slave,

Daddys babygirl♡

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One thought on “A look at myself

  1. Cara says:

    The best apology IS changed behavior

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