He completes me

I had a rough weekend.  I noticed the last few weeks I keep having these off days, it’s not like me. I’m usually in a great mood, ready to take on the day. But not right now,  the words that come to mind are : fuck. And. Off

Even talking (A) another slave, she’s been off lately too. But her Master fixed her before she out of hand. I personally did not know what I needed, after talking to her about what helped, yeah I don’t think so. But I love ya girl! I learned a while ago His maintenance fucking hurts. It does clear my head, puts me back on track, but I’m to damn stubborn to say the words.

Trying to talk to other friends, well they are only subs or babygirls,  they don’t get it. My Master is changing lots of shit, it gets me off track. Now I’m wearing fake PINK nails, I’m not liking it at all. I figure pretty soon I’ll be a full fledged Martha stewart. Plus I hate the AZ heat, I don’t want to work in it, but He’s not gonna care much about that either.

Once He said we will talk tonight,  all I heard was a possible lecture coming, and pain. Any chance He will get busy? Forget all about it? Not likely, but there’s always hope.

A gf of mine called, she saw a pic of my new ring,  and commented about the nails, when I said how much I didn’t like them she actually suggested I talk to my Master about renigotiating things. I laughed. I needed a good laugh today!
All I said was, ‘honey, you’re still new to the lifestyle,  and don’t become a slave. Negotiations ended the moment He took control.’

She actually thought that didn’t seem fair. Lol. I should bring her along to talk to my Master, He might need a good laugh too.

Strange things today: at work, I had no idea men checked out women’s hands so much. I’ve been congratulations on nuptials. ‘Excuse me’ I didn’t get married, it’s just a ring, has been my comment all morning. Men are crazy. The world has gone officially insane.

As far my life goes , I’m happy, just stressed. I’m sure I’ll get over it. He’s the only I talked to about it all that made me feel better. Wow. He really does complete me.

-babygirl

Sixx am ‘Rise’

Sixx a.m.’s new album, ‘prayers for the damned’ is fantastic. Several songs really stand out and speak to me. It’s like some songs were written just for me! My favorite is ‘Rise’.

Kudos to Sixx am on this release of prayers for the damned, best album by far! Congrats guys!

☆Rise (lyrics)☆
Rise, get yourselves together
Rise, stand up and live your life
Rise, get yourselves together
Rise, hands up, hands up high

Stand up to the devil slowly rising
Clear your throat now
You can cough for their demise
Speak out, don’t let the Status quo define you
This is your world, just put the fear back in their eyes.

There comes a time when you know there’s a problem.

Rise up, a dawn of a new day
Hands up, it’s gonna be okay
Even when if they strangle you,get yourselves together
Strike down all that oppose you
Look now, what have they sold you
Even if they anger you,  get yourselves together

Wake up, this could be your finest hour
Pick your head up, and get your body off the floor
Hey now, don’t be afraid to fight for something
This is your chance,you can stand for so much more

There comes a time when you know there’s a problem.

Rise up, it’s the dawn of a new day
Hands up, it’s gonna be okay
Even if they strangle you, get yourselves together
Strike down all that oppose you
Look , now what have they sold you

Rise, get yourselves together
Rise, stand up and live your lives

☆ so there’s more and I’m tired of typing it all out! Go listen to the song☆

♡♡love♡♡

-babygirl

Let’s talk poly – tics, everything poly

I don’t know your kink, but mine used to include poly,  I learned to hate it because ‘most’ don’t do it right.

Where to begin. If you think you’re poly,  or considering poly it’s quite important for you and your partner to define poly, what do each of you think it means? For poly to work, you MUST both be on the same page at all times. I have seen poly destroy more relationships than it helped. Don’t lie to yourself or your partner about what you ‘think’ you might be able to handle, now is the time for complete honesty.  With the right people, right structure, right boundaries it can go good. I have friends who live this way everyday. I have friends who don’t do straight up poly,  but only threesomes to make the relationship stronger, more fun.

How do ‘I’ define poly=  good place to start. Well first off, I’m all for threesomes, but I was always the ‘third’, I slipped in/ I slipped out. But threesomes is not ‘true’ poly. True poly is when 2 people are on the same page, have excellent communication skills, they deeply care about one another. In love with each other, but they found another, or others that they love too.  They have this connection like no other. They are comfortable with one another. They meet each others needs, but they both have a common desire to love more people. Poly is about relationships,  not one night stands. It’s saying to your hubby, boyfriend,  any significant other that I love you, I also love this other person and need them in my life as well. You may live with or marry the person who means the most to you, but then you have this whole other relationship going on. You will need balance, perfect structure and boundaries to live this way.  To keep more than one person happy. Poly is not swinging, just putting that out there. This is a touchy subject for most, I understand that. But to be fair most don’t even know what poly is. I have heard doms make the statement,  ‘i do poly cause I need more variety, different pussy all the time’, that’s not poly either, that’s you feeling entitled to fuck anything that comes along, which makes you pretty much an asshole. If you already feel this is your need, why on earth are you in a relationship?  You obviously should not be in one. Then bang all the pussy you want, but don’t hurt others, and don’t fucking cheat.  Be honest, say the words, ‘this is not working for me’. I could respect that, I’m sure most could ,after the sting wore off.

For poly to work properly, you need a clear definition of what it is, what it isnt. I have a bff ,she’s a slave and in position #1. She is fine with poly, as she knows what’s going on with her Master 24/7, nothing is kept from her. She can trust she is so important. Her needs are met, they talk all the time. He helped her to know she will always be #1, and as such she will know everything,  I mean everything. That is really how poly works. The one who is in your life is not the one to keep in the dark, not if you dare try poly, that person will be gone if trust is not deep enough. My friend is by his side, as his. He put structure in place so she knows 24/7 she can go to him and ask anything, except she has never had to ask. She already knows what’s going on in her home/relationship with her Master. This is beautiful to me. I love talking to her about it. As I have done poly, I have never had this. This would make me rethink my whole stance on it. But is it possible? Or are they the exception? She is allowed other men, as long as her Master approves of them. Which most definitely will include a conversation between both men. One will be in her life always, her Master. The other could change at any time. They both only have 1 other person each. Anymore and her Master felt it could distract him from her/her needs. They will marry one day, and still want to keep this going. I say,’ if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. More power to them, they obviously found what works. But the respect, the care, the love, you can see it. She is secure. She might have another who shares her time, but her Master means more to her, and she means everything to him.

Most view poly as a way to a means. The thinking is something like, ‘ I really crave more sex so I’m thinking I can call myself poly and get that,  this thinking is quite destructive in poly. Poly is not about sex, it’s about a relationship, as I stated. You love a person, and you found this other person, or more , that you have a deep connection to and you need them in your life. You need time with them, develop that connection. Here is where it’s tricky,  don’t forget about your other connections/ relationships.  They ALL need time , they all need to be growing or what doesn’t get your attention will wither and die off. I doubt that was what you wanted, but it does happen most of the time. Newness of the other relationship(s) takes perfect balance. 

Sex is not the most important here. It’s what happens when the connection is real. In my past, I was doing poly, but I was only given 1 night a week with a past dom. It was not enough for me. He didn’t call to check up on my emotional state. There were no dates any longer, he had no idea where I was most of the time, but his house was now full of women. I’m the type of girl that I won’t try to get your time, I either have it or I dont.  I had many play partners because men wanted a deep connection, but in our poly house the only deep connection was to the one running the house. I was so unhappy. This Dom decided for me, so I left. I was second position in his house. I know my personality.  I need time with that person.  I want to feel special, loved, cared for. When that’s not present I move on. I won’t argue, I won’t fight for you, I just go. They don’t see it coming. My first thought is you must have known all the girls in your house have different levels of need, different personalities,  cater to that. I have never seen a successful house. I would remain friends with my sisters in the house,keep play partners but not get attached. All men I met wanted this same thing, but I watched it unravel. It was devastating to everyone involved but me, I saw it coming, and I decided I needed to put ‘me’ first and not push ‘me’ aside. Since the Dom of the house didnt. I have seen many in poly relationships cheat. This makes no sense, you’re poly. But they couldn’t get rid of lust, the need for more and more pussy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. This is not poly. This is you have a problem. Female or male, if you don’t like commitment, then don’t so it. But if you constantly find a hot piece of ass that you need to tap, you might have some issues. I have friends who are girls who are like this. No thank you, they are to destructive. I won’t do threesomes with you either. You don’t worry about being clean, just fucking. No thought to anyone’s feelings but your own. Why am I friends with this person, oh yeah I’m not anymore.

What i have with my Master: Once I became the one ‘in’ the relationship during the threesomes i had to keep jealousy in check, as His slave i want His happiness above my own. It can always be better, relationships evolve,grow. Our first threesome was with my bff! I know strange choice, but I had trust with both. I also knew my Master was not her type, she’s not a slave, all these things helped even though I still went into sub space. I have never done poly with anyone I have a deep emotional connection to, guy/girl. Yes, I’m bi. But the older I get I don’t care about a female companion in my life as much. I want that male connection. As this was how much change I went through when I left the lifestyle for close to a year. Once I came back, I knew exactly what I wanted. I liked monogamy, but I still love to look at females! We’re beautiful,  soft, sexy, what’s not to like, but no relationships with females any longer, females are to much for me to handle. No thx

So where do I see myself with poly.  Funny you should ask. My Master recently brought it up. I shot it down, but maybe I was to hasty.  But then I know the destruction of the past. So I’ve been thinking,  and thinking some more. I’m a libra and I felt maybe this subject deserved more thought. I love my Master, but if He found someone He loves as much as He loves me, who am I to say to deny His feelings, cause Him resentment.i dont fall in love easily, my Master is my first love, i waited a very long time for that so i dont feel afraid it could happen again and then what. I know me. If we are to be together long term, maybe flexible is right for us. As I don’t think we have had enough time to talk about it. I also need security and to see how He defines this as well. I know for me, I see He may fall in love with another female or more. But what do I see for myself? I never gave it any more thought, til recently.  I like the idea of threesomes, maybe foursomes (Master and 3 girls!)My Master and I don’t get lots of time together. I would love more ,but this is not all about me. I long to go on trips, go places together, do more together, talk about everything be completely transparent. Not easy when you’re busy, we do our best.  He is not always able to be with me, so maybe us defining what we can do for each other/can’t do is a good thing. He is my only love. There won’t be another that holds His place in my heart . But the idea of having another man around who has more time to spend with me, not always about sex, is quite appealing after much thought. To be able to have more time with someone and not have them feel guilty that they cannot give more to you. I try my hardest to not show my Master just how much I crave more with Him. But  I must admit,  I would rather be the only person fulfilling my Masters needs, but if we could have what my friend has, now that is beautiful. That I could do in my life.

I don’t see myself in a house ever again. I don’t want anyone to take my Masters place, balance. I do need to feel close, my personality gets lonely, libra’s are a handful. I don’t know if marriage is what my Master and i want, we have not really spoken about it much, so I will not try to answer that here, our relationship is not ready for that anyway ,at this time. But I am thinking of the possibilities, we could both have what we want with each other, get what we need from each other, and possibly others.

Sounds like a talk could be coming. See how my Master really thinks about poly. How He feels this could work for us. There must be boundaries, structure, rules. But I think I was a bit hasty, I welcome this chat now. See if we can be on the same page, or was just an idea ,but we can see ourselves being together, but  also in love , or in like, with other people as well.

Hmm interesting.  keep in mind these are my views. But true poly can be beautiful. I have never experienced it, but I know many who have. Still with the person they started with, might or might not have others all the time. Some go through times of just them and their significant other for a bit. I’ve seen it all.

– babygirl

Dream alittle dream

Daddy is always foremost in my mind, I’m attached! He’s in my dreams, on my mind.

For many reasons that I think I can sort of understand I just don’t know how to tell Him how attached. To me, it sounds clingy, or desperate.  Which those 2 words don’t describe me. But this new thing that happens to me is just astonishing to me somehow. If I talk about Him, think about Him to long tears well up in my eyes, or they will start to softly flow down my cheeks.

My girls have made comments to me that they have known me for a long time, but have never seen me like this. They ask ‘what’s up with you?’ . They know I’m not much of a crier. I don’t get sentimental. I hate all that fairytale and love bullshit. But if you’ve never had that before, or even experienced it, then you can mock what you don’t know.

As I’m talking to my girls. I now have a new surprise to show them, a gift He recently gave me and shocked me with, a beautiful ring! I told them how He just gave it to me, no big meaning as it is just from Him since I have been required to wear a ring for months to symbolize ‘I’m taken’ and for men to respect. As I spoke I had tears quickly. They look at each other and just smile, then look back at me.

Each one of them saw it. My girl, Chance said, ‘Honey you are really in love’ Your body is telling you, just how much you love Him.

They start asking me questions, I slow them down. They want to know if I said
‘I love you’ to Him.
I shyly answer,  ‘Yes’ .

They all seem happy for me. I let them know I took my time before I said it, the look on their faces doesn’t seem to shock or surprise them.
‘That sounds like you!, goooo  superrrr  slowwww’. They all giggle.
‘ Funny bitches’ (me) ‘ I don’t go that slow’
They stop talking to me, start talking about that. Thank god she’s not the guy in the relationship it would take her years to move forward.
‘So not funny’ I say, ‘ what’s so wrong about going slow?’
Dead silence , no one answers. A few of my girls I know that they say they are like me, take it slow. But do they really?

I don’t like putting things on timelines. I don’t like rushing things that need time. Relationships need time. Especially when you’ve gotten it wrong so many times before. Besides what’s the rush for? If we are meant to be together, when we want long term, does that mean I need to speed things along?

I told them all that my Master had told me himself, He likes my pace. No woman had ever given Him that, and it was nice not to be in hyper speed. There is room to just breathe, think about how things can/should go. My only expectation is ‘don’t go, I want you to stay I my life, for a very long time Sir’
He seems ok with this request, has not denied me this request. Has spoke of wanting that too.

So, my girls listened. They got teary when I spoke of our connection. The love He shows me. How He trains me, corrects me. Things that are private stay private, always. Like only one knew that I had told Him I love him. The rest were in shock and awe. They have known me a long time, and know I have never said those words since single, and only on special occasion to any exes, since I hold no special occasion in my heart you can guess how often they heard it, hardly ever. Damn I knew then I didn’t love either of them.

Well, back to my point. I do hold my Master in my heart! Deep within. I do wish for a long life with Him. I honestly do love Him with everything in me. I see this is my forever! ( while I said something similar to this , I was softly crying again. What the hell is wrong with me. Is it my new med? Is it that I’ve gotten dehydrated in the last week at work? Why the water works? My girls smile, try to console me. I look at them, cuz I’m not a big hugger unless I want to.
‘Honey, you are really in love’ ,they say
‘ yeah, I know that, but what’s with the damn tears all the time?’ (Me)
‘ maybe since you’ve waited so long for the love of your life, tour body can’t help it’

They talk amongst each other, I’m listening. There words are about me. Look how many she’s dated, never gave a shit about any of them, never tears for them. Never cried over those exes.

I break it up, ‘ I love my kids, but you don’t see me action like this over them’

Here comes that stupid smile again,ugh,
‘Honey, this is much different,  it’s deeper. You won’t spend the rest of your life with kids, ty might be an exception,  but still they are meant to go. He’s FOREVER! He loves you! You finally love someone! Really love someone! No more ice queen. We thought you had no heart. (Middle finger up). You finally found what we all talk about all the time, you make snide remarks about.’

(Me)
‘I don’t talk about Him all the time?’
They smile, ‘you never shut up about Him’
(Me), ‘ I dont?’
‘ we’ve been wondering when you were leaving this one, but you haven’t. Lucky guy.’
(Me), speechless… doesn’t happen often. ‘ I love Him, I’m staying right where I’m at, no plans to go’

Laughing, giggles, congratulations explode.

(Me),’ what the hell just happened here?’

You expressed a thought, a loving thought, not like you’re stone cold self.

(Me) ‘bitches’, I grin. I guess they are right. I would go to the ends of the earth for Him. I would want Him always with me, as we age and grow old, eventually. I would take all His pain away , if I had the ability. I want His happiness always ,even if it meant He didn’t want me.

That’s true love… I guess, or as I’ve been told. I never had this before, ever. I’m enjoying it. But not the crying part, that shit could stop, hasn’t yet. I don’t tell Him, I guess cuz tears to me are a sign of weakness. Maybe I should tell Him, or maybe I just did.

The thought of Him not being in my life, kills me. I would be half living, half curled up in a bottle somewhere, just don’t try to save me. I don’t wish to live like I did before Him. Especially since I can’t remember what it was like. How did I get through this world without Him? I’m independent,  I know how to take care of myself,  for the life of me I realize there is no going back to that girl. She really doesn’t exist any longer, it’s all gone. I gave all of me to Him.

My big question : what is this like for men? How does He know I’m the one? Is He looking forward to all of this? He seems to be.

Bitches: ‘So, do you think you 2 will be married, or live together.’
(Me) I don’t know.
Bitches: ‘ uh huh, He hasn’t mentioned either to you?’
(Me) silent

They talk amongst themselves. I’ll bet He has but MS.PITA won’t give an inch, does she ever act like a normal female, will she get married, she might have to wear a dress, He would insist on it, I bet, so she probably changes the subject , she likes her blue jeans.  He handles her so well, she’s such a brat. I love her ring, He knows her well that He could pick something she would like, knowing her she has told Him ,no gifts, cuz she hates everything, but He is actually the one in charge here, not her (giggles), wonder if He’s mentioned marriage,  living together but PITA here doesn’t talk about it much, so He might think she’s not interested, she so is. Did you see the moment she mentions Him she tears up. Wow. Ice queen no longer. We must think of some new nicknames now. Ugh… what us different about Him, He has kept her attention, something no one could do before. I bet she’s different around Him ( no Sir/yesSir). She kneels before this Master or He wouldn’t be here, that’s different PITA didn’t do that for any. I only get that the sex is fantastic. She won’t tell us anything. When did she tell Him she loved Him for the first time. I haven’t see any pictures, probably doesn’t take any. Hey, I have a few. (Giggles)  hear that she has a few, anyone know of her ever taking a pic with anyone before, nope. Not me. She’s not one to immortalize any man. Hmm, but this one. Hey, I have pics up in my home of us. Do you think He actually knows about her, cuz she’s not much of a talker. Hey, I talk. Well He makes me, I’ve gotten better. (Giggling). I notice she respects Him, she says nothing bad out of His prescense. She’s not so bratty. Hey, cuz my ass hurts, just don’t say ‘ow’ around Him, well I cant. ( giggles) Daddy really is her Master,hmm that’s interesting. Why didn’t you say much. Hey, because you act like this.
(This was the chatter around me, about me, but not to me. I just listened), bitches.

One thing I did notice, was once we hit the one year mark, He changed. He sets our pace, and things are moving along. Slow and steady, but moving nonetheless. I have no control ,nor do I need it. I have no idea where we are headed, nor do I ask. I figure my trust in Him will show me the way, or He will just tell or start a discussion, I’m not so good at those. I fear more are coming.

-babygirl.

Ok so I’m not mushy(that’s changed), sentimental (that’s changed), crying female ( that’s changed ), it’s not just about sex ( that’s changed). We talk, laugh, share together ( that’s changed). Sounds like a new me has emerged.

Oh what a night!

Let me start by saying: I have the best Daddy in the world!

Why? Glad you asked. Well if you follow my blog (thank you for following) then you know I’m a handful. You probably feel for my Daddy that He has His hands full with me. Then add in that He has to work, raise kids, be with family and friends. I’m like a part time job?… full time job?… not sure which one!

Yesterday was Daddys birthday, and I tried to give Him everything He asked for plus some extra things. I like to spoil Daddy too! Well, things fell apart, Daddy didn’t get His most wanted gift. I worked hard but I failed. I don’t like failure, I took  it very hard. Daddy was kind and powerful, as He is over everything.

While I was feeling moody cuz it all went wrong, Daddy had other plans. I’m glad He did ,cuz it was the best time. We spent time watching a show together, just laughing. Then we decided to go out to dinner for sushi, Daddys choice. But before we leave the parking lot, Daddy hands me something,  it’s a ring! How is it that it’s Daddys birthday but I get the present? It’s beautiful! I love it! The whole night was just fun after that moment. Dinner was good, I’m glad I tried new things. Well He made me! Lol

Once back home we talked to my kids and once Daddy was out, I got Him to bed. It was the first time, that I remember,  that we didn’t have sex and then fall asleep. It didn’t feel like sex was missing at all. It was still a great night together! I had one of my kids take a pic of my ring so I could show my friends.

Daddy, did wake me up early for some play time! Oh!!! My!!! God!!! He breathed on my neck,  oh fuck, and then lightly sucked it. My body went off the deep end,I was horny as fuck, ok more than usual. My neck is one of those areas that get me going. Then we fell asleep, woke a bit later to do it again! My ass is sore too, not from what you think, dirty minded people. It’s sore cuz He’s been leaving some marks on it. They sting, I say ‘ow’ He starts all over again. Not the funnest game for me.

If this is even close to what life will be like with Him, damn…i am the luckiest girl ever! The way He talks to me , shares with me, shows me the way He wants me to go. He doesn’t let me get out of hand. There is more but these are the things I notice the most. The respect I show Him cuz I love Him. I’m a very happy girl, that is until He had to go this morning. I got teary, I missed Him the moment the door closed behind Him. I’m so in love with my Daddy!

image

My gift from Daddy, thank you Daddy♡ The part makes me tear up about Daddy, is no man has ever cared for me like He does. I would like to stop crying, I’m not much of a cryer, or I wasn’t before Him. It is everything to me to be loved like He loves. That He wants the best for me/Us. I know I’m on His mind. I know I’m important, even when I screw up or can’t give Him everything He desires. But threesomes are a ‘must’. I want Daddy to have that as long as we are together!

-babygirl

Wth just happened…

image

As I figured it was just a conversation with you, nothing serious. You expressed how you felt, I did the same. Only both of us, at the same moment took it to a bad place. Maybe some things shouldn’t be texted, since phones can screw it up. Smart phone my ass.

I spent my morning thinking what the fuck just happened, that’s not what I wanted, not even close. This is not like you to not consider my feelings. You always listen to me, you always make the right decision for us. Which gives me more respect towards you.

The feeling came over me, I will never serve like this again, for He is all I want, all I ever needed, all I know. Most men on earth will never deserve to be served like He does. It is who I am now, His. Only His, if I’m not by His side what is my purpose. How will I ever go back to being just me?  I will not ever again,  I gave my heart away, I don’t want it back. I gave my soul in this deal too, I don’t want it back either. It felt as if someone took the air from my lungs. As if maybe my heart stopped beating. The tears poured out of me.

I realized in that moment, I was nothing anymore, if I wasn’t His. No one compares, no one gets me.

An unexpected friend (M) took the time with me to show me all was not lost. We were both standing there, lost, not knowing what had happened. If I never speak again, my words can’t be taken wrong, but the other side is no one will hear the beautiful words either. 

She looked at me and said, ” oh my god, you both love each other. I have not noticed. But I see it now. Talk to Him, don’t let Him go, show Him your heart, help Him see YOU, that you aren’t going anywhere, it was just the moment.”

It was in the moment, it was scary and dark. I felt alone for the first time in a year. I hated it. I have never needed more than a shower to move on, but He’s tattooed on my me. This is forever! I want forever, even when it goes wrong, I would rather not breathe than be without Him. How could I ever go back? It’s not possible. There is no ‘Me’ anymore. She’s gone. Only thing left is ‘Us’ just purely being His.

He’s stuck with me. I’m using super glue so there’s no idea of leaving. He has no idea how lost I was yesterday. Going thru the motions as only a ghost of my former self. When we talked got it all figured out that somewhere it just went very wrong,  we could let it go. That dark, ugly place. Never return there.

I woke up ready for the world,  cuz I’m His♡   right where I belong, but my ass is sore. ☆ouch☆ kidding Daddy!

-babygirl

How to figure out if she’s ‘the one’…

Women think they know how to find their soulmate, but what about men. Let’s look at things from a man’s perspective. 

What do men need from a woman? From a relationship?

What do men really want?

1. She knows how to deal with your anger.  I don’t care who the girl is, there will be times when you fight/argue, that’s a given in relationships. To find the female who can give you space ,let you process yet wants you all the more. She knows you could be angry with her, and she wants to talk it out, so things are back to being copacedic. She’s a keeper.
2. She respects your privacy.  She’s not going through your phone. She’s not asking who’s on your phone, or trying to sneak a peek when you’re texting.  She’s not worried that you could be cheating on her, she’s secure. She doesn’t question your time with a play by play of where you’ve been. She’s not following you, or seems to be looking for evidence against you. The other side to this is , make sure she feels secure enough to give you your privacy, and allow her to have some to.
Some men seem to disappear from their life when they get a girlfriend. She’s to possessive, demanding and just wants all of his time. Every guy needs time with his friends, same is true for women. It’s unhealthy to not take breaks from each other. If you find a girl like this, you’re a lucky man.
3. She trusts you.  This is plain and simple. You will know from how she talks to you, questions she does ask are not leading .
It takes time to earn trust. If you want a long relationship then learn to trust each other. The trust she gives you, give to her as well. Then remember how lucky you are to find a female to give such trust, don’t abuse it. Trust can be destroyed in seconds .
4. She doesn’t take your excuses. This is a good thing, she wants you to face life, good or bad. But she wants you to hold her accountable too. It also means she’s planning on staying by your side. No female will invest time in you if she’s not staying for the long haul. She’s a blessing to you, be thankful.
5. She is quick witted , and come back on your humor. Humor is a big part of a relationship,  any relationship.  It’s really how we relate to others. Check her out, does she really laugh at what you’ve said. Does she add to it. Can she make you laugh. Humor is a good thing, but it must be coveted in the relationship,  otherwise she was just laughing to be polite. Not what you want. If she’s genuine with her humor, appreciates yours and is playful with you, you have found your match.
6. You share same tastes, whether it’s food, movies, music. You will have your differences, but  for the most part, in a long relationship you will want to do things together to stay strong, cherish your moments. You wouldn’t go to two separate movies or concerts.
7. She believes in you. Love can make you both do things that you normally wouldn’t do. If you find a girl that believes in you , stands by your side through thick and thin, you have it made. This kind of love is rare these days. This girl will see you as a hero, this is not the same as rescuing her. Make sure you know the difference, because one kind of girl is constructive, the other is destructive.
8. You’ve heard the old saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. Well, it’s true. No couple can spend every waking moment together. Men need their space, they need their boys, time with their boys with no female interruption.  Not every female is OK with this. If she’s nit, let her go she’s way to possessive and clingy, and maybe for our lifestyle she’s exerting control. Keep it in check.
Ladies, let your man blow off some steam, he loves you, he needs time to just be himself, or he could learn to resent you. Now, there is a balance here, men it’s up to you to learn that. If you spend more time with your boys and neglect your relationship,  who’s fault will it be if she decides to leave?
It’s a proven fact that absence does male the heart grow fonder, give him some space and he will wander a bit, and come back refreshed ready to take on anything. This gives you ladies time with your girls.
9. She expects you to act, not just dream. This kind of woman sees your potential. She wants you to be well rounded even if it means she has to give up some of her time with you, this goes back to believing in you too. She doesn’t want you to regret not trying things in your life, if she’s on board then she’s willing to make any sacrifice necessary so you can succeed, she’s not threatened by that, she’s cheering you on. This kind of girl should be seen as a treasure, since today’s woman is about owning the man, taking all of his time, leaving him empty. Men, choose wisely.
10. She has an elastic heart. This has more to do with how she is ‘after’ an argument or fight. Is she patient, gives you some space to think, is she compassionate,  forgiving, admits when she’s wrong and can apologize. All of these things show great love for you, this kind of female doesn’t need to win, hurt you with words, have her way. But she will need you to bring the balance.  Can you be compassionate, forgiving,  give her space, apologize? If you can both get through an argument with having to win or hurt the other person, keep that girl. Today’s society says women should rule men. Look at nearly every commercial on tv, very emasculating. But the kind of girl I’m talking about won’t want to wear the ‘pants’ , she’s confident that those belong to a man.
11. She respects your friends and family. This is pretty much self explanatory, but if she’s drama remember your life will be too. If she treats your children kind, is she friendly with people in your life, does she make ghe effort to like them all and try to get along, even if this includes exes. This is a sad fact in our world, but it is reality. If your ex ,family member, or friend is hostile to her and she doesn’t try to fight back or argue and make it worse, this is a girl who really loves you. There is no perfect situation, but you will have to make sure you are proud of who you are dating and maybe in a long term relationship with. You don’t need to regret the girl you love.
12. She shelters you from the storm. When the world has kicked you, she will lift you up. She wants to hold you on sad days, listen to you about what made you this way, she knows she’s not needed to solve your problems.  She will be tender, even if it’s heart breaking and you cried this kind of girl will hold you close to her heart, you will feel the love and no condemnation, or fear of letting her in. Keep this girl.

There are more, these were the most important things to men in this study, it wasn’t my study. The study was about how to find the girl of your dreams, you only needed to find a girl with 5 or more of these qualities. But ladies you can tell men are specific to what they want, not just about a hot body and pretty face. The want substance. Who can blame them, women of today don’t know how to treat men, we aren’t shown anymore. Good luck to both sides as you try to find your King or queen to fill your life. We barely touched on the lifestyle, this was just a vanilla study, I might need to find a study of our kind! I don’t even know if I do all, or any of these. If you want to leave feedback ,plz do!

-babygirl