I was talking to my bff recently, she found herself a dom! I was laughing to myself in a restaurant we were at. She looks up from her food, smiles at me and says,
“What’s so funny?”
“What’s funny is, my dear friend, you are not a sub. Thank goodness you didn’t find a Master, cuz you damn sure not a slave. You could possibly be trained to be a sub, you have qualities, but you’re fiesty, say and do as you please, if you were trained, I do think a good sub you could be!”
She looked puzzled, “you sized me up that fast”
“No, I know you well, and for years. You know I train yet you only asked for minimal, very minimal. Never asked about sub or slave, but all of a sudden for this one dom you are willing to change?” I giggled as I spoke
She stared at me from across the table, and in a serious tone,
“Will you train me, for real this time, I want to be a sub, I don’t think i could be a slave because your Master expects so much from you, He will be silent with you,the tasks He puts on you, He trained you. He is good for you but being a slave seems to take my power away. I’m not trying to put you down, but you blindly trust him. How on earth do you not want to stand up for yourself, say what’s on your mind, win an argument, how will you do that the rest of your lives together?”
I heard what she said, she sees me as weak, but I’m anything but that. I have to give her grace and let her have her own thoughts. I’m a long time slave, how I proceed will show how well my Master has trained me, how much He loves me, how much I love Him! The thought being how I handle myself around others in the lifestyle is a direct result of how others will see my Master. They will either respect Him or not, by how I choose to talk to others, I lead by example. Plus if the woman sitting in front of me is actually serious about the change she says she wants to make, then she needs to see the grace,poise, etiquette, all the time my Master has put into me. I remember at all times, that these women I’m around ALL judge the dominants by how the sub/slave acts. I have heard them say “that dom must have no control over that sub, cuz she just embarrassed the fuck out of him”. But in reality, they are right. This lifestyle is meant to be based on manners, respect, and etiquette. Not how life is today. Submissives doing as they please, but yet all want a ‘real’ dom/master. Why would you want a ‘real’ one when you don’t really wish to submit wholeheartedly. Real doms/masters do have a limit of bs they want or care to handle. Let’s just be honest, you want the hot and dirty sex, but you find the rest of it tedious, and no real substance for your life. You do not want to serve 100% of the time. Subs have asked me, “what if I don’t feel like serving thst day? What if I’m sick, does he expect me to get out of bed and serve then too?” I usually smile to myself and turn them down for training as graciously as I can. They will not make a great sub/slave , they worry more about themselves.
So, I did answer her back with, ” Are you really ready to be trained? My way. You cannot stop it like you did in the past. ( she nods her head yes). Fine then, when you know if this is the Dom for you ,and he starts his training, you must go to him and ask him if I may help you. Then you must go to my Master to inquire His ok that I may assist in anyway your Dom needs or wants my help, once you have both dominants on board I will help. But remember training never ends, silly girl, it evolves. Evolves as the relationship does. If, and only if, both dominants think I should help you I will be instructed by yours as to what to work on. He will judge my work by his own standard. He has the right to report to my Master how well I’m doing with you. If at any time you are not doing your best, that means I’m not doing my best , in the eyes of a dominant, even my own and if you cause me any trouble since you’re a brat, I will pissed off, I take training seriously. So do all dominants. Remember, you didn’t want my help for the last few years. But now you have woven a tangled Web for yourself. It’s not all about you anymore. You will be on your knees before him. You will be respectful and thankful to my Master, should He even allow this. He might since He does care that subs/slaves be trained properly, but He will be the first to pull me back out if it’s not for my good, then you will be on your own with just your Dom training you. Do you understand what you are asking? Do you know how to properly ask both dominants for this? Do you realize how your training affects us all?”
She looked at me, she was speechless. When she finally gathered her thoughts, I knew she would have questions. As she had never seen this side of me before. Shocking to her, I’m usually my lovable silly babygirl side with her. We have fun, laugh, joke. But I needed her to see the severity of the situation, we don’t live a normal life. We live the bdsm lifestyle, normal on the outside, kinky on the inside. But my ass is on the line if she chooses to ask if I may help. I will willingly do that for her, she’s my friend. But training is for real. There’s no going back to step one every time you turn around. And the fact, I’ve done this for years, even with them having a dominant in their life. Yes, they must talk to me, but this time would be different they must have my Masters permission to talk to me, or they may talk to Him, my Master gets the answer from me and relay it back. This is much trickier, with it being the lifestyle it won’t be easy, but it’s doable. She needed to know the consequence of what she asks though. Before she found this dom, she could have had all the training she wanted, as my Master permitted, now she has lots of hoops to jump through. I wish her luck. I am always her friend, but dominants do like to train by themselves, their own way. Seeing as she is new to wanting to be a sub, he may like the idea of not doing the all the work. You never know!
Time will tell, I do so love to watch when a new person assumes they want this lifestyle, I can see which ones will take to it, and which ones will fail. I will never tell them though, as one may surprise me one day!
Good luck sweetie, always here for you!