How to figure out if she’s ‘the one’…

Women think they know how to find their soulmate, but what about men. Let’s look at things from a man’s perspective. 

What do men need from a woman? From a relationship?

What do men really want?

1. She knows how to deal with your anger.  I don’t care who the girl is, there will be times when you fight/argue, that’s a given in relationships. To find the female who can give you space ,let you process yet wants you all the more. She knows you could be angry with her, and she wants to talk it out, so things are back to being copacedic. She’s a keeper.
2. She respects your privacy.  She’s not going through your phone. She’s not asking who’s on your phone, or trying to sneak a peek when you’re texting.  She’s not worried that you could be cheating on her, she’s secure. She doesn’t question your time with a play by play of where you’ve been. She’s not following you, or seems to be looking for evidence against you. The other side to this is , make sure she feels secure enough to give you your privacy, and allow her to have some to.
Some men seem to disappear from their life when they get a girlfriend. She’s to possessive, demanding and just wants all of his time. Every guy needs time with his friends, same is true for women. It’s unhealthy to not take breaks from each other. If you find a girl like this, you’re a lucky man.
3. She trusts you.  This is plain and simple. You will know from how she talks to you, questions she does ask are not leading .
It takes time to earn trust. If you want a long relationship then learn to trust each other. The trust she gives you, give to her as well. Then remember how lucky you are to find a female to give such trust, don’t abuse it. Trust can be destroyed in seconds .
4. She doesn’t take your excuses. This is a good thing, she wants you to face life, good or bad. But she wants you to hold her accountable too. It also means she’s planning on staying by your side. No female will invest time in you if she’s not staying for the long haul. She’s a blessing to you, be thankful.
5. She is quick witted , and come back on your humor. Humor is a big part of a relationship,  any relationship.  It’s really how we relate to others. Check her out, does she really laugh at what you’ve said. Does she add to it. Can she make you laugh. Humor is a good thing, but it must be coveted in the relationship,  otherwise she was just laughing to be polite. Not what you want. If she’s genuine with her humor, appreciates yours and is playful with you, you have found your match.
6. You share same tastes, whether it’s food, movies, music. You will have your differences, but  for the most part, in a long relationship you will want to do things together to stay strong, cherish your moments. You wouldn’t go to two separate movies or concerts.
7. She believes in you. Love can make you both do things that you normally wouldn’t do. If you find a girl that believes in you , stands by your side through thick and thin, you have it made. This kind of love is rare these days. This girl will see you as a hero, this is not the same as rescuing her. Make sure you know the difference, because one kind of girl is constructive, the other is destructive.
8. You’ve heard the old saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’. Well, it’s true. No couple can spend every waking moment together. Men need their space, they need their boys, time with their boys with no female interruption.  Not every female is OK with this. If she’s nit, let her go she’s way to possessive and clingy, and maybe for our lifestyle she’s exerting control. Keep it in check.
Ladies, let your man blow off some steam, he loves you, he needs time to just be himself, or he could learn to resent you. Now, there is a balance here, men it’s up to you to learn that. If you spend more time with your boys and neglect your relationship,  who’s fault will it be if she decides to leave?
It’s a proven fact that absence does male the heart grow fonder, give him some space and he will wander a bit, and come back refreshed ready to take on anything. This gives you ladies time with your girls.
9. She expects you to act, not just dream. This kind of woman sees your potential. She wants you to be well rounded even if it means she has to give up some of her time with you, this goes back to believing in you too. She doesn’t want you to regret not trying things in your life, if she’s on board then she’s willing to make any sacrifice necessary so you can succeed, she’s not threatened by that, she’s cheering you on. This kind of girl should be seen as a treasure, since today’s woman is about owning the man, taking all of his time, leaving him empty. Men, choose wisely.
10. She has an elastic heart. This has more to do with how she is ‘after’ an argument or fight. Is she patient, gives you some space to think, is she compassionate,  forgiving, admits when she’s wrong and can apologize. All of these things show great love for you, this kind of female doesn’t need to win, hurt you with words, have her way. But she will need you to bring the balance.  Can you be compassionate, forgiving,  give her space, apologize? If you can both get through an argument with having to win or hurt the other person, keep that girl. Today’s society says women should rule men. Look at nearly every commercial on tv, very emasculating. But the kind of girl I’m talking about won’t want to wear the ‘pants’ , she’s confident that those belong to a man.
11. She respects your friends and family. This is pretty much self explanatory, but if she’s drama remember your life will be too. If she treats your children kind, is she friendly with people in your life, does she make ghe effort to like them all and try to get along, even if this includes exes. This is a sad fact in our world, but it is reality. If your ex ,family member, or friend is hostile to her and she doesn’t try to fight back or argue and make it worse, this is a girl who really loves you. There is no perfect situation, but you will have to make sure you are proud of who you are dating and maybe in a long term relationship with. You don’t need to regret the girl you love.
12. She shelters you from the storm. When the world has kicked you, she will lift you up. She wants to hold you on sad days, listen to you about what made you this way, she knows she’s not needed to solve your problems.  She will be tender, even if it’s heart breaking and you cried this kind of girl will hold you close to her heart, you will feel the love and no condemnation, or fear of letting her in. Keep this girl.

There are more, these were the most important things to men in this study, it wasn’t my study. The study was about how to find the girl of your dreams, you only needed to find a girl with 5 or more of these qualities. But ladies you can tell men are specific to what they want, not just about a hot body and pretty face. The want substance. Who can blame them, women of today don’t know how to treat men, we aren’t shown anymore. Good luck to both sides as you try to find your King or queen to fill your life. We barely touched on the lifestyle, this was just a vanilla study, I might need to find a study of our kind! I don’t even know if I do all, or any of these. If you want to leave feedback ,plz do!


One thought on “How to figure out if she’s ‘the one’…

  1. shortstuff63 says:

    I read the list of qualities that a woman should have, I saw a couple that I have to work on but others that I know I have. It is kind of funny I have met some vanilla men that do not see those qualities as a positive. I had a man ask me “why is it that I was not asking him where he was going and who he was going to be with?” I told him ” You are a grown man if you want to go out with your friends that is up to you but if you are going to be with another woman the truth will come out in the end.” About a week later he told me that he had been going to see his ex – wife. I told him thank you for telling me and that was the end of that relationship. The truth won.

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