To see her happy

I get to go to Hawaii soon! Daddy and I are going to watch a friend of mine get married. I’m so happy and excited for her. She’s has been the one person I could always count on. No matter what. 

She’s had to do things for me that no friend should have to do, but she did and without complaint. But believe me the lectures were loooonnnnggg enough.

I met her online. Her name is ‘M’. For all purposes and keeping her privacy I will only give a letter. But make no mistake, her friendship means the world to me. The moment we met in person, nearly 5 yrs ago, I think! It’s been a while! It was like we had known each other forever. She’s fun to be around. She is also the only woman I’ve ever submitted to. ONLY WOMAN EVER. There was a good reason for that. Life with my mother and grandmother was horrific. I hated them. When M wanted control over me, I put up the fight of my life. Vowed never to ever be on my knees to serve any female. But after the accident, things changed for me. She had seen how abusive my ex was, and just how wild I behaved, so to keep me safe from myself she took control.

One dark night, I was to drunk to know better. I took a hot bath, but the bubble bath and all the alcohol I could drink (3bottles) not more like others remembered,  was enough to make me black out once I got out of the tub. I was standing one moment, the next I was waking up to someone shaking the shit out of me, asking was I ok?
‘ I would be fine if you quit shaking me’ , but at that moment I was in a very dark place. People around me screaming to others to call 911, I had passed out and hit my head pretty hard. Someone set me on the side of the tub and left me to see if 911 was called cuz I wasn’t doing so hot. I blacked out again, this time fell backwards into the tub. Hit the back of my head so hard. I woke to someone shaking me again.  Only this time I didn’t see anyone familiar.  I didn’t know the answers to the questions being asked. 911 had arrived, I had 2 blows to my head. No memory of anyone or anything.

My kids and M took care of me. She lived way across town, over an hour and a half away. So, it was up to my kids and M (Over the phone mostly, saw me when she could), to help me. No one else cared. Not all these men who acted like they cared, not all the ppl I partied with nearly every weekend. Just them. I was lost, lonely. I had no idea what was going on, who anyone was, but I was still wild.

M saw how I couldn’t be trusted at this time. So she took complete of my life. I think she expected me to fight her again but I was lost and I submitted. I wasn’t allowed to date, or meet anyone. No parties,  no alcohol, no fun. She and my kids took care of me. Reminded me who I was, who I am, tried to jog any memories. It was 6 months before anything ever came back to me. M moved me at this time, into a rental home. Got me motivated to work. I would put my head in her lap and cry. I didn’t know anything, anyone. Very few memories came back to me. I had been in a car accident several months before all of this so M got me to drs, took time off to help me go through 3 procedures. My kids were still helping to, but it was M who made me have hope.

To the present,  I am still great friends with M. I love my friend. She was always there for me, never left me. Got me through so much. I don’t submit to her any longer, not since my Daddy took over. M still checks on me and the kids. She still worries about me. She always wants the best for me. She has seen me through a lot. I have only had a few times to pay her back for all this. I get to be there when she marries the man who loves her! I’m so happy for them both! I know it’s not really in my budget but I will find a way. I need to be there for her like she has been there for me.

I love you M, always will! You are more than a friend to me. You’re family. I can hardly wait for you to finally marry the man of your dreams, lol. It took you guys long enough!

Thank you for all you’ve done for me. I don’t know how to pay you back. But I do love being friends!


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