I can feel this warm sensation roaring up through my body. When it finally hits the surface I’ll be able to breathe fire. Take out any opponent, or anyone in my way. At least the past dictated this to me. No one challenges me, no one pushes me, why must you?
So He thinks I’m this strong woman, I can handle the things life has thrown at me. I’m not the kind of person to feel sorry for myself, maybe alittle, not for long. I know it serves no purpose, changes nothing. I vent, I move on. I try to.
Life decided it was my turn to handle a few hard things, not feeling great about either. I’m sure I’ll get through them. I just like for life you run smoothly. Is that to much to ask.
But Daddy has approached a certain subject a few times. I get defensive , He backs off and gives me space. This time He’s not backing off, leaving it alone. Why not? Doms do pride themselves on finding your weak spots and changing things, making the sub stronger physically /emotionally. Why do I need to be so strong? Why can’t I just have a few weak areas? He’s not backing down. The moment I felt His words, I felt the battle of wills coming out of me.
This is where the lifestyle gets tricky. On the one hand, I’m His slave, I’m to do as He says/wants. And I did, partly. But then there’s this part on the opposite side of me that says ‘I’m ready to go head to head with you’.
The one thing I can say about Daddy, is that He does know I’m human. My emotions are going to come out, I will be completely uncomfortable, I may push Him verbally. Not out of disrespect, but to see if He’s really there for me. Don’t start something you can’t finish. Doms, Masters, exes left me hanging. If I’m required to change, you better be by my side the whole time. Hold me when I need it. Push me but be gentle. Pick me up when I fall into a bit of depression. I’ve never changed these things, so resistance should be expected. He feels I should be a good slave, do as He wants at all times. I’m trying.
I can say He knows me well. Last time He pushed me, well it was awful, but the end result was worth it. He never left my side, gave me room to beat the hell out of the world, I’m alittle hot headed. I will try to get my way, which is Him backing down from this, letting me be. But He has His own plan. I know He loves me, wants the best for me, for this situation.
I won’t say, “who’s gonna win ?”I have this idea I know who will. I don’t want to admit it. I get it, I’ll be stronger, but what if I don’t want to be. I’m not liking this, not one bit. But I’m ready for Him…