This is my new feeling throughout my body. I tried to write about it. I wrote it out 4 times only to find each writing to inferior of how deep this is.
This past weekend was one of a kind. It was wonderful beyond words. But once over this sadness took over. My heart longs for Him. Like a drug. I need Him, His voice, His command, His touch. But I am not getting that, we have separate lives til into the future, we put our lives together. We try to be together as much as pissible. I didn’t know that when He gave me this complete happiness, that once it subsided it would go to the opposite end of the spectrum, which is this unbelievable sadness. How do I go without Him?
I finally understand all those stupid romantic movies. A love you will never let go of, you will never forget. A love so big, so vast, you cannot even understand it yourself to be able to explain it. There are just no words. Maybe if I could show Him my heart, how it beats for Him only. How its gently weeping when He’s away. I don’t know if anyone really ever understands love and the emotions that go with it.
Once our call ended last night, and this morning. I felt the cure , He holds the key to my heart. He let’s the love flow through my body and soul. I have never loved this deep in my life. I don’t even know how to tell anyone. Not even Him. Did He cause this or did i? Or is this what happens when 2 souls are interwoven together. You get emotions and feelings that you’ve never expressed. They were always sitting there ,waiting for that first real love to open the box and let them out. He is everything to me now. I thought I felt it beforw, this is a new level. It’s wonderful, but wow do you feel the pain in every breath you take. You wonder if your heart will just stop beating if He’s not close by. It didn’t.
Love has so much to go with it. When I say I love you, right now it means something completely different then it ever did before. I love you means, my heart aches to be with you, to hold you, to look upon you, to feel your heart beat, to see your face, to feel your skin touch mine. To breathe into me a kiss that gives me your soul, I’ll give you mine.
I love you, I absolutely love you