How blonde am I? Let’s find out!

I’m sharing this story not to make fun of myself, but to come to terms with I’m a blonde. I’ve tried to hide it for years. I’m of a rare type. Blonde with brown eyes. I wish I had blue, but no such luck. 

Years ago where we lived, we found a dollar store. These were a new concept then. Mostly owned by Chinese people, or middle eastern people. Not like today’s dollar stores. But nonetheless they were very cool. You could buy anything for a dollar. I’m also Jewish, so I was thrilled! With my very young boys in tow I made my way to the ‘dollar store’. 

My daughter wasn’t even born yet. My boys were 1 and 5 years old. There were 4 aisles and I had to see it all! My 5 yr old asked if he could go look at the toys. I didn’t see the problem, take my time to find great deals. He goes his way, and his younger brother and myself our way.

As I’m shopping, I hear a child crying. The older Chinese man is sounding upset, “where you mama?” was all I heard a few aisles away.  I recognized  the voice of the  child answering, its my son. I leave the aisle I’m on and go to him. He’s in tears. He swears he couldn’t find me. I’m trying to soothe my son, and deal with the dirty looks and attitude from the older man who owns the store. I take my child by the hand, leave the basket of goods I found. I’m actually curious as to when did he try to look for me? As I’m talking to my son, I keep stressing that there was only 4 aisles. How did he not see me. My son has no answers but still clearly distraught over not finding me.

A week later I try it again. We go into the store and I’m already for finding some bargains!  Can’t wait.  My son asks again, if he can go look at the toys. I let him know there are only 4 aisles so I guess it will be fine, come find me when you’re done. My youngest son and I go off to see the 4 aisles. 

So a bit later, 10 mins maybe, I hear a child crying. I’m sure it’s not mine I told him to come find me. Let him know there was only 4 aisles. I hear the older Chinese man ask the child, “where you mama?”. I hear the child answer the man, lo and behold it’s my son. Again? What the hell? I go to my child. This time I get a lot of crap from the Chinese man, and his wife. I’m ready to crawl under a shelf, why on earth is my child doing this to me? How can he not find me, THERE’S ONLY 4 AISLES for gods sakes. I take my sons hand and we leave again. This time I’m clearly upset and now I’m questioning my son, like it’s the Spanish inquisition. I want answers damnit.  

It takes me about a month to want to go back. I figure I’ll give the Chinese couple time to forget this ever happened, twice. I figure by now they might have my picture up about not letting me in their store after all this. 

It’s a month later. I tell my 5 yr old son to hold my hand ,do not let go. Do not ask to go look at toys, we will do it together after I’ve looked around. He tries to speak, I cut him off, tell him to stay quietly at my side, no drama this time. He tries to speak again, I look sternly at him and he goes quiet. Ahhh, I’ve established authority, I’m the parent! Oh Yeah! I’m doing great this time. I hear a child crying, I look down at my side, take a deep breath as I see my 5 yr old by my side, I’m beaming with pride now cuz it’s not my son. I hear the Chinese man say, where you mama?” But there’s only crying. I look to my other side, I start to panic , “wheres your brother?” My son starts to answer, and shyly says, ” I was trying to tell you but you wouldn’t let me talk”. I go find my son, I pick him up give a dirty look to the Chinese man and take my boys out of the store. I vow to never go back. I didn’t. Now my boys are 20 and 24, they remember this quite well. Even when we pass the empty store where the dollar store used to be. They look at me and say, “there’s only 4 aisles”. We all laugh, well it did have only 4 damn aisles. How the hell do you lose me with only 4 aisles? Not the brightest bunch!lol

Ahh memories in the corners of my mind. Stop singing It! 



2 thoughts on “How blonde am I? Let’s find out!

  1. Sorry, you’re disappointed, but I think blonde with brown eyes is sexy.

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