I won’t break His trust

He knows I have my bratty ways. I love being playful to the point of putting a toe over His line to see if He’s still paying attention. 

He’s always paying attention.  

But there are times when I need Him to know, especially right now as things are changing for us individually and as a couple. He should know I take this seriously. I will not push Him. Not disrespect Him. I will not make Him ashamed of me. I will speak at the right moment. I will be the epitome of a slave and His ‘ol lady in that moment. I don’t want Him to have regrets. Nor do I want Him to feel pushed to the point He needs to correct me Then and there. I know He would if He had to. But my job is to not ever, ever forget my place. Even when its ‘our’ home. I won’t forget.

I do have complete respect for Him. I signed up for this, and fully knew what I said yes to. If at any time I feel upset, or angry I will push it aside and ask for a time when it can be addressed.  I know He will give me that moment, He always does. Between all His roles He now has, one thing rings clear, His family is important to Him. Me and the kids mean everything to Him. 

I hope He has seen in the past that I try to wait for the best moment to give Him the reason for the problem I have. He is usually the one that makes me say it right then and there. I’m sure if there is  club things we attend together, He will never have to worry about me embarrassing Him, speaking at the wrong time, or even saying the wrong thing.  I’m to good a woman for that, and my love runs very deep.  This man is the man I want to come home to every night. Share a life with Him. Be His best friend. Confidant if He needs me to be, that any secret thing He tells me shall go to my grave. That no matter what, I’ve got His back, as He’s had mine. We build each other up. Can tell each other anything. But most of all He needs to know I respect Him. 

I want Him to think about these things. That we have had disagreements before and once we are in public I never spoke out of turn, never brought it up again, I didn’t make Him feel less than. He did approach me with caution once. We had just had a bad disagreement, and we still wanted to see each other.  The moment He entered the restaurant we were both sort of quiet. He kept looking at me like He was waiting for more of the fight.  I recall He even said something to the effect,

” So, you’re done with that subject,  noting more?”

I looked Him straight in the eye, “Yes, there is no more to say. You let me speak, you let me say what I needed to say. I’m no longer angry I let it go.”

I’m gonna say it took Him a few minutes to believe me. But I was being honest. My anger was done. I move on quickly. Nothing hurts a relationship worse than a female holding onto shit. Let it go. Ok, i did hold on to a few things, but there was no anger attached to them, but i did present them as facts and at a proper moment not just out of nowhere. There are good reasons why certain subjects have come up more than once, but that is neither here nor there. I do watch Him closely after I’ve aired my grievances. Sometimes not so lovely, or tactfully.  I noticed that He’s trying to show me that what I thought to be , wasn’t.  And there is an end in sight. So my irritation has been extinguished.  He made me feel very important. I’m so happy. See why I love Him… Only a man who loves and respects you as His property would do that.

I must repay that. In my world that means learning the ways of an ‘ol lady,  making Him proud. Being the slave I know I am, cuz He’s worth it. I don’t want Him to ever worry about my behaviour.  Now any woman step at me, or want my man, that to me is a whole different story. But He will need to address that. I’m sure He will. Cuz I’ll be ready to make any female pay. 

Enough said, you get my point. 

-babygirl

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