What it takes to be a slave

Many in the lifestyle don’t really know how to define this word ‘slave’, let alone even know what one is. To many think we have no brain,  no thoughts of our own, that we jump when Master snaps His fingers. We are agreeable to the point that it’s abusive or because we are needy, no self esteem. That slaves chose this because we are not strong, we need to be led, no confidence in ourselves. You couldn’t be more wrong. Im one of the strongest women you will ever meet, but i have weak areas, things Master works on the make sure I’m balanced and strong .
Who is a slave? Anyone. Male or female, has this desire to serve. It’s actually with us from birth. I have thoughts, opinions, and ideas. I have to be in charge in parts my life, but i hate being in charge.  My Master will even ask for my thoughts on any given subject, sometimes I don’t give it readily, which His next statement to me will be something like, ” I know I could tell you how to think/ feel but I honestly want your thoughts”. I will usually share them once I know I’ve been given the freedom to do so. To share my own thoughts without asking first or just to say them can come at a cost. I fully expect it, it hits me afterwards. I need a filter. A slave gives respect and love and gets even more in return. We like knowing what our dominant partner/spouse wants, we live to serve. Serving grounds us, it’s healing, it warms the slave heart and we do all we do with a smile,  not out of fear of retribution. Oh my, that’s a big word, wonder if I used it correctly. Lol. I do have a brain!!

I think people don’t get to see this side of M/s. They forget that there’s a real couple in there. A real Master, a real slave. My Master makes sure I’m doing good emotionally/physically/ spiritually,  He’s busy often but always makes time to balance me back out, that’s real love. I am allowed my own opinions, except for football (kidding) , my Master values me. He doesn’t require me to only like His likes, only think how He wants me to think. When Master wanted to start a new chapter in His life/our life, He actually sat me down laid it all out there for me, wanted/encouraged me to ask questions. He wanted to know if I could serve/please Him in His new endeavors. Does this sound like I’m some lost sheep, not on your life.  Master makes sure I can talk to Him about anything,  happy stuff, things I need His input on, things I’m dealing with, things I can’t control, things that piss me off. He can tell when my mood changes and asks what’s up, I’m given time to process so I can put it into words even though that part drives  Him batshit crazy.  He has never once said to me, “slave, stop having feelings, opinions, and stop talking to me like I care about your life, just suck my dick” 

Master makes me feel like I contribute to our lives. His is on  a much bigger scale, but I’m by His side each day. I work my ass off too. He makes me feel as I matter. I feel loved or I wouldn’t stay.  Master is putting our lives together, He always has the plan, I just need to follow. But each time His plan is complete and ready He will tell me the plan, ask what I think. I matter! See, not mindless.not brainless.

From a child we are taught to be strong, don’t show weakness. For women a little weakness is ok, crying ok, not for males. Women are shown how to care for children, make meals, serve the man, serve the family this will be your pride and joy. The world just described a slave, but we must never use that word. It has a negative connotation and stigma. But for me to be truly happy, I need to serve. 

Looking for balance and acceptance.  That comes with strength. Master accepts me as I am. The children accept me as I am. Do I accept myself? Does the world? This can get tricky. To be a good slave, one must clear out all teachings from others that go against the grain. Remember we’ve had a lifetime of picking up others teachings on who we should be. But make known that ‘I want to be His slave’, and everybody flips the fuck out. I’ve lost many friends with the thought that they will accept me as I am, not so, even lifestyle friends. My married friends, I used to think ‘they will get it’. Married friend ,Jenn, I said you serve your hubby, I serve my boyfriend I just choose to call Him Master,  she’s angry. I point out all the ways slaves and wives are similar now there’s a heated argument,  no more friendship. 

I don’t usually lead conversations with new people like, ” Hi, I’m so and so, I’m a slave to my Master. I serve Him in any capacity He should desire. I feel whole and compete when doing so. The world thinks I have no brain, no rights, no opinions, no thoughts of my own. I do. Some think it’s abusive.Some think my Master is like a mad scientist in a lab wanting to make the perfect slave. Here I am, I was awakened by Master draining my brain of knowledge to only out in thoughts such as, ‘ Yes Master,  whatever you want Master, your wish is my command Master .” Yeah, That almost never happens,  lol.

Granted my Master knows the lifestyle,  and I am agreeable to His wants and desires. But I was asked first. My Master asked me if I knew about being a slave, He could tell I had. But Could I serve Him, Him only. Could I put Him first in thought and deed.  Could I say ‘Yes Master’ when He gives a command. And could I serve Him all my days and be happy. Masters know we slaves have free will, it’s a choice we make.  I was given time to think on such things, ask any questions. I already knew my answer, my heart skipped a beat when Master wanted me to serve Him. He could have picked anyone, but He chose me to serve. What an honor! 

Does anyone even understand what an honor it is to a slave to be asked to serve? No. We slaves wander ,looking for a Master who can be all we need, let us serve with a hearts desire. 

Slaves cry, feel pain, are happy, work, are mothers/fathers, have friends, accomplish goals, have needs of our own. It’s like we are real people.

Master let’s me have friends, healthy friends. We go have fun together. He always knows where I am. I can shop, but He knows what I spend. I can take care of my life, with His permission . I can do for the kids, as in the parameters He sets. I work, He’s in charge of where I am/what I do. I am in Masters world , when allowed and always follow my rules/ structure He has set up for me. I feel His care and love in every facet of my life. I don’t see any problem, especially since I’m happy.  I chose my life of my own free will.  And I would choose it again. I find vanilla people, some subs, baby girls just don’t get it, nor want to .

Oh yeah, Master requires me to write on this blog. About anything I want. He reads it all. 1. So He knows how I feel/see things. 2. It’s like a journal so He can see how I’m doing. 3. Sometimes I can say things here ,in writing, that I can’t say in real life. 

I’m also thankful for a new slave friend’phoenix’! She gets it! Happy slave!!!

-babygirl, His slave first and foremost

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14 thoughts on “What it takes to be a slave

  1. Cari says:

    i am bewildered by the misunderstanding and condemnation of who we are, not only in the world writ large but within the lifestyle as well. You have spoken words i feel in my soul every day, so thank you! i love Master, i love me and W/we grow every day. Naysayers be damned. đź’ś

    • stacieinaz says:

      Thank you, reason I wrote it was in one of my fb groups they put us slaves down. I don’t like that. I don’t really believe in to each his own, the lifestyle has always had a certain structure to it. Which has made it beautiful, it doesn’t need to be changed, just adhered to. This new crop just seems to be playing what we live every day. Thank you for your comments.

      • Cari says:

        i’m no expert, but i know what works for us. That may or not adhere to traditionalists in the lifestyle, but both Master and i like to color outside the lines. He’s laid back and not into high protocol and it is i who would like more of it, but not too much… đź’ś

      • stacieinaz says:

        I like that. See, it’s real for you. That’s lovely. The people I’m addressing in my writing it’s like it’s play time. I’m so tired of that

  2. I do not feel (nor does my Master) that it matters one bit what anyone else in the so-called real (or virtual) world thinks about what we do as long as we are not harming ourselves nor anyone else. I tell people who ask that I am wearing an eternity necklace which does not come off and that it symbolizes our eternal and abiding love for each other, I don’t say it’s a collar because they wouldn’t understand and it would only lead to further questions. And mine is not a pretty necklace, it is a titanium collar with a D and O ring.

    I agree with Cari that even in our lifestyle many who consider themselves “experts” are so easy to criticize and condemn others. Hey, our relationship may not work for you and you know what? It doesn’t have to! One Master’s happy obedient perfect submissive slave may be another’s nightmare! I’ve been on far too many websites and posted only to be shot down for my opinions. Okay, I’ll see myself to the web door, thanks! Who needs that crapola? Aren’t we all here to support each other?

    • stacieinaz says:

      You have every right to your opinion. As do I. My life works for, as yours does for you. Reason I wrote this is not to set myself up as an expert, but I’ve been in the lifestyle 20yrs, I am tired of the new crop of subs and slaves that are just playing the lifestyle

      • Yes there are way too many posers and fakers. I am so afraid for all the new submissives and slaves who know no better and find these horrid examples of dumb-Doms. Many will be badly hurt and abused.

    • stacieinaz says:

      I’ll add that years ago when we actually followed the lifestyle to a T. It was that way. Things have changed, it’s no longer respectful or beautiful. There used to be only slaves when I started. Long time ago.lol. I wish it could get back to what it was. There was just something so wonderful about it, we were in our world . No one cares about us. We were outcasts so to speak. Now it just sort of blew up. And with that came titles, most unearned, no mentors, just about sex. It was never about the sex.

      • I feel as you do, but Sir feels that D/s is mostly about sex, at least for Him it is. I disagree (respectfully) and it bothers me, but we are together in this (and married) so not much I can do but slowly proceed and hope He continues to learn. I was the one who wanted and pursued it so it is hard to teach Him how to be the Master I want when He thinks it’s mainly about sex. It is so not!

  3. dove says:

    I thought you put that so well. Still be pretty new with a lot of this I have found my decision to serve as slave to my Master as one of the most rewarding and calming things I’ve ever done. You are right, there is so much misunderstanding and no desire by anyone to try and learn and understand. My Master values the strength that I have and who I am as person and would never want to change that, just harness that into making me a better me.

  4. hisalone2016 says:

    i almost cried reading this. Its like you are reading what i desire…what i need. it’s rather wild to read ones own thinking on someone else’s blog. Thank you. ❤

    • stacieinaz says:

      Thank you for sharing, I’m glad you found a connection like that, I really admire you sharing something so personal♡

      • hisalone2016 says:

        The fact that there ARE others who understand my soul overwhelms me. This is all new to me..in the past few months. i am not young..and have lived all of my life not understanding what was “wrong” with me. Why my needing to be needed seemed like a weakness to others, when in fact THAT is my strength, my gift to and for them. So when i come across others (which is rare) who speak my heart, my mind, my needs, it is just the deepest connection that I feel. Sisters aren’t as close as those who are slaves at their core.

      • stacieinaz says:

        Couldn’t agree more. I feel a deeper connection to my slave sisters than to my blood relatives. You’re right this is something that calls you, it’s a yearning you feel. I’m glad you now know there is nothing wrong with you, you beautiful slave!Good luck on your journey. If you ever need anyone to listen, always here for my sisters

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