The way He loves me

Yes, another post about Him! How He loves me, but a little different. I personally feel that men in this world need their woman to actually give them a list of the things they do, so each man can see for himself that she really does notice Him and His efforts.  That each man know that His woman count herself blessed, be grateful, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved, the family has a real leader.  

I’m at that point with Him now that we have talked recently about Him as the leader once we are together. Can the kids respect and appreciate Him? It all starts with me. Do I see Him as the leader? The head person over me, our family as it comes together?  I do. So my children will fall in line since they know that He is a real man, who can lead this family. My kids now know if they choose not to fall in line, they can go make arrangements with the other parent. I will always love and support them,  they will always be a part of my life, but I refuse to let my life be dictated to me, by my children. I’m allowed happiness too.

He has shown all of us what love really is. We had never seen love in action before, not from the head of household. When my son changed jobs recently , his own father didn’t support him. But my Daddy handed him a gift card and told him to go buy himself some tools. None of us know what to do with Daddy since we have never had anyone in our lives like him.

My daughter adores him, she has needed direction for a long time. I’ll admit I lost the war with this one, but not easily I didn’t want to give up, I haven’t totally. But Daddy sees where I could do better. He has seen my daughter at a very weak point, something shocked her enough to tears, Daddy tried to console her. The only thing my daughter has ever known is violence from my ex, my daughter actually saved my life one day. Then some days she will tell Daddy off, i want to yell at her, but Daddy stops me. He will let her talk,  she has stuff she needs to say and He just listens. He answers her back with such sweet words I don’t think she deserves, but he feels her pain that her dad and my ex have caused. This kid just wants a dad and she picked him. ‘Pops’ as she calls Him.  My daughter misplaces lots of things, her allowance has been on the list many times. We are all used to it. She let me know that He tried to give her a second allowance so I would not be mad at her any longer. I was glad She didn’t let Him bail her out, she did get quiet as she told me. She has never had anyone care about her besides me, her whole life( Her Whole 15 yr Life). He even bought her chopsticks cause she loves them, she eats everything with them from fruit, to burritos,  and more. The thought never crossed my mind to buy her good ones, I don’t know why. 

My middle son has brain damage from birth, autism, and about 16 other diagnoses. I have always been afraid that I’ll lose him, cuz I have already lost one child. I can’t handle the thought of losing another, but babying him hasn’t helped. Daddy did talk about this a few times with me. It’s not easy when it comes to this child. Especially since he’s almost died on 3 different occasions, well actually the other 2 kids have almost died on me as well. My daughter has Epilepsy and has been dead and I revived her. But my middle son I can’t let go of. I know Daddy sees this, I’m sure He has thoughts and ideas of how to help me. I will need all the help and guidance with this. 

How He loves me. He knows how much I’ve been hurt, physically, emotionally, spiritually by many. He’s a most patient man with me. He surprises me, the way He just knows when to push me hard, and when to handle me with kitt gloves. I’ve never been treated so well, or loved like this. This is a journey for all of us. 

The thought that races through my head, ‘ What did I do to deserve Him’. I don’t ever see the answer, so i just stay grateful. Why am I so excited to live with Him? Because I feel as if I’ve found my other half, my one true love! And I want to start my forever with Him, NOW! Wake up next to Him, some days I swear I’m just dreaming, life can’t really be this wonderful, can It? But reality hits, it’s really happening! We have plans!

I felt so high yesterday, high AF! My thoughts were so very clear. I love my life, learning to love myself , all because of Him♡

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