I am at that point, when I have those days that I would sell one kid and throw in the other 2 for free! It’s a 3pc set, can’t be broken up. And when life has given me a hard time, like it has for weeks now, back off . I’m a strong woman, but I really start to want to give up, or runaway from home. I know that’s usually when I dig a little deeper into myself, see if I have more reserves to give of myself. Truth be told, I’m tired of saving everyone. If I am always their safety net, will they ever be mine? Will they learn to take care of themselves? I realize the ones under 18 have to be taken care of, but here’s a list of chores kid.
My Daddy went slow with this subject. If I remember correctly I bit His head off a few times, sorry Daddy. I had never had a two sided relationship before. It was always all up to me. Daddy figured out a way to approach this that I would just hear Him. How’s that working for me? I’m drowning a bit. I’m tired, I’m cranky, I don’t care what they want. But Daddy threw me a life preserver, He started talking with me, not to me, huge difference. He would make small suggestions. Once He would leave, I let it settle in me, chew on it for a bit. He made sense. It was to help me, it was to help them.
I am at the point of refusing to clean, cuz they won’t. I don’t want to cook ,cuz they won’t clean up afterward. Do the damn laundry, all of it, not just the part you have an emotional attachment to. You don’t want to touch your brothers underwear? I get that, use tongs, chopsticks, I don’t care but stop excuses. Do all the dishes not just the ones you used. I have been doing the dishes for years and you all saw me Do Every Damn Dish. I expect the same. Clean the bathroom, it’s gross in there. Sweep floors, vacuum. Is anyone listening? I noticed Daddy tell the kids to do something, actually same thing I just said and these people are like, ” hmm you make an interesting point Pops, their name for Daddy, I can do that right away!”
What the fuck just happened here? I say this stuff til I’m blue in the face, nothing changes. But Daddy says it they scatter and go do it. Huh??? He even reminds them that when we all live together it will be His way then too. I stand there, I’m waiting for the argument… come on teen being told what to do, hello … she’s fine. It makes me want to smack her. The boys ,the same way. This Daddy of mine either has some secret power I know nothing of, ‘stepford children?’ Or a dominant is just that in control over everyone? I don’t know. I’m usually ready to wring their necks, but Daddy just calmly says something and it works. It reminds me of Star Wars, the weak minded can be controlled. ” these are not the kids we are looking for, move along”.
I would call them all ungrateful, except every once in a while I get hugs, and kisses, art pics, someone will do something without being told. A kind gesture. This stuff is always appreciated, it does renew my strength.
But the thought in my head is still the same. I work my ass off all day, I don’t like the thought of coming thru the door nothing done, or a basket of ‘clean’ unfolded clothes. And for the love of God dont ask, ” what’s for dinner?” Reservations?? Daddy doesn’t think so. But I’m tired, I need a few mins to just sit still, then I can get started. Some of you are older so learn to cook, and they are!
Single or not, men work hard. When they have a family they are like superman. It doesn’t matter what the weather is like, they go to work. My Daddy is one of these types of men. If He’s sick, He’s still at work. If He’s tired, He’s still at work. If it’s a 115 degrees outside, Yep He’s still at work. If it’s cold, He’s still at work. No matter what He gets out of bed each and every day to make that money. I think the family really forgets to appreciate the man in their life. But I’ve noticed, same goes for single moms. My philosophy is, ‘be more like men’. Ok I’m not gonna burp,fart, scratch my balls, but you get the point.
Life wasn’t ever guaranteed to be easy, but you make it that way by your attitude. For you moms who stay home all day, ” let’s gripe about our day” how tough it was, shut the fuck up, count yourself blessed that you stay home all day and get to spend money on shopping that you did not earn. Men are just themselves. Hard working, well most of them, they don’t want much, just to be happy, loved, appreciated, and maybe have an outlet. Something where he’s not a father, husband,boyfriend, worker, son. It’s all him. Single moms, you need this too! Don’t just cook and clean, actually find something you like to do.
Being a single mom isn’t easy. I don’t try to feel sorry for myself, suck it up. Daddy never feels sorry for himself. I try to not stress over all the things to get done, but I do. I try to shorten the list, and it grows. I don’t know how men do it. Most men have my respect. This shit ain’t easy, they make it look easy. How? Notice these real men should teach a class to us single moms, but they don’t.
I’m thankful I have my Daddy. I’m not alone anymore. I’m glad He wants this job. When we met I know I said I wanted long term, He did to. I guess I didn’t know exactly what I was saying, but I’m so happy I understand its implications now. I really needed someone who could control the brat in me, my wild side, get me under control and keep me there, let me serve. But this whole other side I never noticed was there the whole time. We all needed direction. Daddy knows best, He got me to put my child in the right school for her. My son is going to get more out of life. My oldest, well we fought like cats and dogs, I didn’t trust him. I was rather angry with him for just leaving my life for a year over a cunt in his life. I have helped him over and over again , only to be treated like I didn’t matter unless he needed money. Well fuck you. Daddy even put that relationship back together. Thank you Daddy. I love that Daddy put himself in the middle of this one! It’s going good for the first time in a long time.
I love this man I call Daddy, I plan on a very long life together. I like that He shows me new ways to get things done. I’m most grateful each day that He’s in my life. There’s a reason I tell Him I love Him more, it has to do with all this. He just casually started picking up my pieces, putting them together again. Never let me go. In a way I’m glad that things fell apart for me, it showed me to keep my eyes on Him. The past was me getting lost in a bottle. I haven’t been allowed to do that. I’m facing all this hard stuff and for the first time I’m not alone. What an amazing thing to feel!
Hey, wasn’t this post supposed to be about me? How did He do That?