In our lifestyle this is a word we throw around a lot. Let’s face it, it’s how our relationships work in this dynamic. One gives orders, one obeys orders. But it’s not that you obey that can be the problem, but ‘how’ you obey. This can make or break a submissive. We do answer to a higher power.
What do I mean? It’s the intent of your heart. Do you respect your dominant so much that no matter what, you will obey? This does not mean to just blindly say yes because you fear your dominant could leave you, if you are a long time slave/sub then you know what I’m talking about. But heartfelt servitude.
Does your dominant call the shots? We aren’t surprised! What things are forbidden to you: shopping, certain foods/drinks,etc… Now you have a situation on your hands. Your mind wants to start obsessing over what it wants. You start to reason or justify why you should have your way. Do you obey? I’m not sure everyone does. In my own mind I know could do it, but at what consequence? My Daddy can be evil, so it’s not worth the risk for the reward. I would rather ask. Plus He always asks if I’ve been a good girl. I get so excited cuz ‘I have!’ I have nothing to confess.
Every dominant reading this right now is thinking , “of course she better obey my words and commands”. But think about that a minute. You have this person who will dedicate themself to you, puts you first, serves you. Have you ever visited forbidden things and let your submissive have those things, just every once in a while? My Master actually does. I’m not allowed pop, but when we are dining out together He can choose to let me have this, not always but He does say yes sometimes. Which makes me feel like He understands what it’s like to go without something you love. I do wish He understood that time of the month and my craving for chocolate. I don’t want a lot, just a kit Kat bar, or a 2 pack Reeses peanut butter cups would help the craving subside, it’s been there so long,since I was a teen I wish it would would change, sadly it has not. This does mean I would break my Masters trust. It is not worth the risk to me either.
Sometimes you can get to a point that you want to throw the rules out the window and do it anyway, or think to yourself, ‘ my dominant is not here, they will never know’ . Your dominant might not know, but you will. You have to live with yourself, be mindful of how you treat your dominant even when they are not present. For me, I have told on myself, the guilt eats me up inside. I need to feel clean before Him. I have had friends tell me I do this just to get spanked, believe me that’s not my reason. But one lie can lead to more. You put your relationship in jeopardy. You’ve hurt the trust. This dynamic is set up a certain way, this is what you crave is dominance, rules, structure. For me personally I do need this lifestyle. I know what’s expected of me. For instance, last night. Daddy had already let me know I could spend time with my bff, do what we want, I couldn’t spend money, and it would have to be something Daddy would approve of. I know exactly what He approves of. So that way if He’s busy, like last night, I still follow my rules and He knows what I’m doing at all times. He doesn’t have to worry about me. But when we first started dating, I wasn’t sure this was gonna work out. Most Doms before Him weren’t looking for a relationship, just sex, so it was to new to tell if He was for real yet. I had gone to a party and out til like 3am with my other bff. Daddy never got 1 text from me. Once He knew what had happened, and expressed His anger over it, I was feeling like, “You were serious about that?” He showed me how serious He was. I felt that for days. Now we’ve been together for a while, ( almost a year and a half!) and i know exactly what’s expected of me. And I obey! There’s that word again! It’s a very real thing in our lives. I take it very seriously. I don’t like the lesson.
Now, you might start reasoning. ‘ I just wanted…’ I know, I get it, but you’re doing it wrong and you know it. I will ask my Master for what I’m wanting or craving. I’m hoping He will say yes, but He doesn’t always. On the rare occasions when He does, I’m grateful that He let me have my request and I thank Him. He didn’t have to say yes, plus I want Him to trust me. Now when He says no, it’s much harder. I will send a text back so He knows I understand that His no means no. As I stated before , the only time I really wish He would change is when it’s my time of the month, that craving is so strong, but I do Stick to obeying. I used to have my girls that do get that craving that time of the month, and would tell me to do it anyway sighting that He’s a man and will never understand that time of the month. My argument to them is,” He has His reasons”, my rules are for me to be better, not to harm me or have me resent Him. I do follow with a slave heart. Believe me, I’m only human so the thoughts do cross my mind, I just don’t act on them.
For those of us who obey all the time. We know what it is like to put our dominant first, how hard that is some days. There are those moments when it’s hard to convey why you are asking. But once we have gotten the opposite answer of what we wanted , how do you feel? Do you still behave and obey? Will you act like a brat and make Him sorry? Will you do it anyway? These are all real questions we are faced with, real struggles. Here is the topper, how will you treat your dominant when you are face to face? With deep respect? I hope so. Can you still serve them wholeheartedly knowing they may never say yes to your wants or desires? Again, I hope so.
Your rules are not meant to harm you. They are for your good. So you can serve to make your dominant happy. Even when faced with a no I don’t disrespect my Daddy, I don’t bad mouth Him, I try my hardest not to ask why, I know I can still serve with a happy heart, that is all a dominant can hope for. That you still happily serve. Not be bratty, or insufferable, this does not make your dominant wish to say yes next time, it really has the opposite affect. Go figure, lol. Our job as being submissive is not always easy. Only you can tell if this is something you can do.
Obeying is a good thing, a very good thing. But how you obey says a lot too. Try to think on reasons of why you obey. Stay strong! And then do one more step, watch how you act. If you need some time to accept you won’t be getting your way then take that time. Your dominant would understand, but to misbehave well that could get you into trouble, or if you kept up your bad attitude, maybe released from your dominant.
Think of all the ways you obey everyday. Street lights, street signs, police, laws, you pay for stuff you want/need, your job. See , we obey all the time, we just need to remember why we want to obey our dominants!
This is what the lifestyle is about, well one aspect. It’s a big part though. So if you are just playing games, any real dominant will figure you out. And for that new crop of sub/slave who believe they hold the power, you had power for 5 mins, now it’s time to obey or shut up.