Let’s talk about abuse

If you’ve put up with a narcissist,  then you might be like my old life, way before my Daddy. It was cold, distant, lonely, and very abusive. I have scars and broken bones that go with very evil stories about that man I used to be with. I always thought since he never laid a hand on the kids they must be fine, I was wrong. I was wrong to stay so long, it nearly cost me my life,more than once. If you are in a bad relationship, please seek help. You deserve happiness,  not walking on eggshells, or using make up to cover bruises. Keep in mind too, police may fail you many times, for me they did even with his handprints around my throat. This does not mean to not call 911 , please do, maybe they will help you where they failed me. 

I’m here to help,give hope. You can get over it, but you must take the first step. I won’t give you false hope either, my ex ,the predator that he is ,has not served one day behind bars. I even thought divorce papers were my ticket out, I was wrong, He got more violent. But I’m still standing! I felt the fear and dared to live anyway. I figured the worst thing I could do was succeed. Live a happy life, he had to watch it all as he interviews the children about my life each time they are with him. Now i share my life with a man who is not afraid of my violent past. He’s my Daddy,  my Master.  The only He’s laid a hand on me is minimal and usually just my ass, but I asked for it. It took my kids getting to used to this kind of hit was ok, I’m not afraid of my Daddy and they shouldn’t be either.  

My ex was so smooth after separation and divorce that all our friends took his side, He knew well placed tears were getting him sympathy votes.  Take those sorry ass friends, I didn’t care. I’d rather be alone. He made sure he had others spying on me, still does and it’s been years of not being together. Anytime I must be near him fear does go up and down my spine, I know what he’s capable of. I look at him as though he’s the most dangerous, venomous snake alive. Never trust him. I know the real him. The one he his from the world.
If you can understand these memes and what I’ve written then you are like me. Well, the old me. I’ve gotten mush better, life is good now. My kids are so much better. Once my youngest is 18, I won’t need to be around him, talk to him any longer. I wait for that day! It will be time to celebrate! 

Please get help. For you and your children. This is NOT love. Love shouldn’t hurt. Love shouldn’tmake you afraid. Love shouldn’t keep you locked in the house like a prisoner.   No friends, no family, no outside world. No desire.  You hate yourself only because they convince you that you are the problem. But you are NOT the problem. They knew the game the moment they met you, you never had a chance.  If you are alive now, you have a chance to leave, to run. 

I’m done running now, my Daddy promised me I’ll never have to run again from my ex. I do still get protection in court and through another program to hide my address. It made me feel empowered. Take my life back. I did counseling, but it wasn’t for me. I never see the point in talking about it cuz I’m free now. I’m happy now. I live the life I want now. 

These are reasons I needed my Daddy to go slow, but not anymore. I can even handle the idea of marriage again now. I never saw that one coming. 

There are plenty of ppl who can help. Police, homeless shelters, churches, state agencies.  There is no excuse to stay. My ex nearly killed me 6 different times. I am still here! Get empowered to get your life back, get your children’s life back. To be happy for the first time in a long time ,I’m sure. Feel the fear and face it anyway! I do. No more excuses for not leaving. You can do it, I’m living proof. You deserve this, you deserve better, you deserve real love. 

I may never get over all of the past, but I’m damn sure I’m gonna enjoy the rest of my life!  With a wonderful man! And a crazy but bright future ahead of me. 
If you feel suicidal, please seek help quickly. This is one thing your abuser wants you to do, he can show everyone it was your problem, you were crazy. Please don’t give in this what they want. Find your strength,  you will need it, figure out how to stay empowered.  Get some good friends!
You’re new life can be anything you want it to be. Figure out how to be a new kind of family with your kids and others 


2 thoughts on “Let’s talk about abuse

  1. You are a strong one. I’m so glad you are here and can talk about it.

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