I can talk about anything in the world to my Master. He will clarify when I need it. But I don’t treat our time together like I do with my girls. It’s more respectful, my demeanor is softer, my answers to Him come from a well thought out place in my heart and mind. Occasionally not the case if I’m upset.
My Daddy has vowed to do things differently this time. We’ve both been married before, it went badly. We both feel that marriage is for us, but we are not official yet, we are taking our time. It shouldn’t be rushed.
Recently, my bff came over and we sat there just chatting about anything, and everything. Daddy was watching us! He looked at me and said, ” you’re adorable”. I smiled at Him,went back to talking non stop with my bff. I honestly didn’t know why He said that , I was just being me.
When Daddy and I are talking/sharing I don’t talk non-stop, I don’t dominate the conversation. I don’t show Him makeup,clothes, all thoughts in my head, but with my girls it’s different.
Daddy is my lover, my Master, my beast, my best friend, my confidant. I can tell Him anything, I can tell Him my deepest, darkest secrets. There is no judgment from Daddy. He just listens. He may add insight where He feels I don’t see the whole picture.
This morning He did let me know He’s seen I’ve been stressed for months. Yes, I have been. Only because I can’t figure a way out. I’m a smart woman, but I’m lost right now. How many jobs do I need to work so I can make It? Recently being hit hard with a huge bill,omg. Where He says just do one day at a time, which I do not understand. I tend to look at the whole thing, and then I can’t breathe. Maybe His way is better, I know He teaches me things I can use in my life, all the time.
I know He’s right, but I feel alone in a pile of debt, it’s growing, and I quit eating like over a week ago. I eat 3 bites and I’m done, the scale didn’t lie. My daughter looks at me, “can’t eat? ”
I shake my head no, I’m thinking to myself, ‘ no you small person, let me be’.
I’m constantly involving Daddy, my tendency is to push everyone a way til I get this all figured out. But that won’t do anything but hurt those who love and care about me. So one day at a fucking time it is, but I’m not happy. I want answers NOW. I am trying to so hard to be submissive in this, what a test it is.
He says don’t worry, I want Him to see what I see… huge debt.
He says one day at a time, I want Him to know I trying to handle it, but He says we’ll do this together.
Together? Foreign to me. Never had that when I was married. But by Friday Daddy and I are officially together, a year and a half! I’ve had to learn this word. Damn it’s not easy. The person I married, some ive dated didn’t want details, didn’t want me talk, I know this because they let me know NOT to tell them. I kind of expected Daddy to be the same. He’s not, not even close.
Daddy wants me to talk about my feelings, what my thoughts are in the moment He asks for them. I’m used to staying silent, but not with Him. He does take it personal if I don’t share. I do look at the stress in His life, I’m thinking He already has so much, He doesn’t need my crap too.
Where did this man come from? He’s like no other. I figure either He’s gonna change me, but why does He care so much? I’m not used to this, even after all this time together. Will I ever get used to it?
I realize when I’m with my girls, it’s usually a bitch session. Every female alive knows what I’m talking about. We bitch about our job, the kids, family, other friends, even our man. But I can’t bitch about Him, He doesn’t do anything worth bitching about. He has an ex that can get on my last nerve, and even work that one too. Yes I do bitch about her. But when I look at the big picture there, I really don’t have anything to complain about. My friends seem jealous that I think my Daddy is pretty close to perfect. Be jealous bitches! I love you , but He’s mine!
But truth be told, Daddy is not like my girlfriends. Nor will I treat Him as such. If that works for you, great! If I were to treat Him as common, I would see Him differently, and I’m not sure it would good for me. So I don’t cross that line.
I love you Daddy♡ thank you for alwsys showing me a better way to be. I know you want the best for me!
– His kitten