Surgery update!

All went well, better than we anticipated. Daddy babied me and I loved it! Everything looks like its going well. I’m a horrible patient and hate to rest, so Daddy has his hands full cuz I feel better already!

– His babygirl

P.s. thx for all the best wishes and prayers, we really appreciated that so much!

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The big plan

I have surgery soon,tomorrow. We’ve all been waiting months for this to be over. No more old pain! It looks promising that all will go well. That’s what I need. As of the last few days I hug them all tighter, kiss them more.

I had this idea in my head that just in case it all go wrong, maybe I should write a good bye letter to each one. I sat there with pen in hand, nothing came to me. I then thought about making a video for them, I didn’t. I realized saying good bye was to hard. It would be leaving my life and everyone I love behind, and I’m just not ready for that.

How dare I leave my Master slaveless, my children motherless, my friends friendless. I have a life to live. There are people who need me, counting on me. But then theres me. I’m really not done. I want to see how my story ends. I still have so much to do!

As I thought about all the people who touch my life, Daddy is my first thought. How could my story be done when I just found the love of my life? The man who has brought me life, a good life. He got me to see things differently, feel differently. He reached deep in me and pulled the slave back out in me, put that front and center. He has been so loving and patient, while I learn that He won’t hurt me like the past has. We are planning a life together! I’m excited to belong to Him in every sense of the word.

My children. Oh the places my thoughts take me.I have 3 kids health issues, 2 have special needs. My kids have looked at me, said; ” no one would ever want to change places with you mom, your life is so hard, but you make it look easy”. I guess I do, my oldest tries to help me while I’m at work and he is so happy when my day is done and I get my life back. He lets me know he’s not sure how I get so much done for his siblings. He gets why is father didn’t ask for time in the divorce. 

I would miss my kids so much, it has been my most favorite thing in the world ,to be their mother. All the ups and downs, smiles and tears. Being a mom to three is more like being a referee then anything. I can call a penalty when I need! Kick them out of the game, I mean life til they are done being benched. Football just works here! I call the plays each day, they do the work. We all walk away in victory that we survived again. 

As I spent some time yesterday talking with this wonderful lady, I need her help and she offered to help me, she and her sister. One will get my kids to school, the other will get them home, or to my ex. I nearly cried. How did I get so lucky to find such wonderful women. I bust my butt each day to come up answers ,I don’t have any. I’m just so happy. Things have really come together. I don’t know how that happened. I’m trying to get back to work so fast, the lady yesterday had a similar surgery, she was off for 6 weeks.I let her know I don’t have 6 weeks. If I don’t heal quickly I lose everything. I will have no place to live. My kids and I will figure it out, we have before. Life could be hard for a bit. I’m prepared for this road. Our stuff in storage, living in a hotel, doing our lives. We’ve been there before. We always manage to make the best of it. This time on less money. This time will be different, as I have my Master. The thought of Him seeing me lose everything is not a good thought in my head. I’ve wondered if I needed to ask for some space to go what I need to go through. I feel shame in a way that I failed my family and they everything beause I didn’t save enough money. There is nothing extra. I’ve lost so much already. I’m still trying not to fall apart over that. I know He’s watching, but how much can one person go through. I don’t know that this slave could lose more right now and be able to hold my head up. Life won, it kicked my ass royally this time and I lost the fight in me, that’s the thought where I hang my head in shame. I can’t lose my kids too. I run that risk right now. I always do what I need to do to survive, but this time is different, He’s right there, always watching. I cannot stand up to Him, but the rest of the world I’ve got both middle fingers up! I will do what I need to survive. If I can survive a horrible childhood, and an abusive ex I can survive this too. 

My middle son asked me recently, ” are you scared?” I had to admit I am just a little, I’m only human. But I plan on living a very long time. Its just how do we get thru the healing part of this, I wish I was more prepared. I let him know I don’t expect anything from anyone,ever. I’ve always got some kind of plan. We looked at each other and smiled, my son hugged me for the longest time. He just needed to know he wasn’t going to have to go to his dad , not if I can help it! 

How do you plan for natural disasters within your life when you do this lifestyle? I have no idea. I actually have never been here before. How do I fall from grace and lick my wounds while being owned? Does He give me this time or stay right by my side? Do I ask to take a step back for a bit, never done that either? I’m either all in or I’m out. I may need to learn of the middle ground here. I might need to talk more, listen more, ask for guidance. I just don’t know. What will He require from me at this time? My mind is going a mile a minute right now. I didn’t think He may have His own ideas right now. He may have had to figure all these things out just as I have. I can’t focus right now, I don’t really want to talk about any of this, but writing it here might make that happen, He’s always paying attention, always listening to everything I say or don’t say, its really unnerving. 

I get I will learn from this too. I hope everything will go well. Right now I’m getting everything in order for it going either way. I didn’t want to leave them all hanging. I love them all so much, I love my life! Everyone in it! 

– His babygirl

Surprise from Daddy

If you know me, I’m not big on gifts. That makes me the perfect girlfriend/babygirl/slave! The real gift to me is the connection, the love. Do we talk,are we growing together. These things I cherish! Gifts are nice, but the real stuff between a couple well that is what I really want!

Its not about looks, he’s sexy! Its not about money, we have some! 

Its the way He looks at me. The way He kisses me, holds me. How we miss each other. I can hardly wait to have Him in bed , next to me every night. 

We had missed each other the last 5 days. We even missed each other so much, we scheduled 5 mins to see each other just to get a smile and a few kisses in. I love this man.

So, last night we were trying to find time to be together. Things kept coming up. Then I was to tired, and He was late. My craving for Him turned to disappointment, to sadness, then to anger. I figured it was so late it might not be a good night for us. He finally walked through the door, I needed an explanation. What was so important, more than time together… His explanation made me feel so upset for being selfish. All I could see was what I wanted,Him. I forget that people call Him to get help. I did understand. I love Him. I know when we live together, He is always gonna be the same way. I love that about Him. I don’t want that to change. 

I needed to feel His skin on mine. I needed to hear His heart beating with mine. To kiss Him. To breathe Him in. Damn,its good every time.

By morning, I let Him know He chose correctly, I know Him so well. He would not put off time for us  unless it was super important. And it was. I am proud To have Him as my Master/Daddy. He is the love of my life. The only one I breathe for. 

I just had to show Him how much I love Him, only a blow job would do! He seemed willing!!! Then He gave me a surprise! I got the most beautiful diamond earrings! He spoils me. Do I need earrings, no. But they are from His heart and what a beautiful heart He has. When did He stop to think of me? And why? I don’t feel I’ve done anything remarkable. I guess if He thinks I deserve something so beautiful, its good then! 

All I can say is… Thank you Daddy,i hope you liked the picture of earrings!
– His babygirl

Oh…my…god

This will be a post about my Master, I’m aware that I hardly ever write about Him…(your laugh here!)

Yes, He’s done it again! Touched my soul, my heart, shook my world. After all our time together, you would think He couldn’t surprise me anymore, but you’d be wrong. 

The last few days with Him, fuck it ,lets start the last month. I’ve been in so much pain, I’m just not myself lately. I have a hard time being a mom, let alone His slave. He’s been so wonderful, we’ve been very vanilla. It was so different to see us like this, but nice to know that if we have to be like everyone else in the moment, that we do what we need to do. We have hardly had sex. We still communicated. What He’s showed me at this time was priceless.

The last few nights were unimaginable. We have been completely open, honest, talked about everything, we were horny as fuck! 

Ahh sex, good lord, I so needed that. It was hard to fuck like we do, and be in pain. But nothing was gonna stop it. We both needed that connection on the deepest level. I can say that it was nice to know that we are not all about sex, we can actually be there for each other. But we are the horniest couple ever! We need sex, we crave it, we must do it cuz we’re to damn good at it not to have it often. 

Even while having sex, He made sure I was ok. This man is a keeper! The love and care He showed the whole time, every time. Yes, more than once! I came so hard I woke the kids, and neighbors,lol. I didn’t hold back, Daddy was the reason I was ready for sex, and my reason for cumming! I love Him so much, He’s everything to me. 

How in this great big world did I find someone who cares so much about me. Made sure I was having fun, and made sure I was doing ok. I have tried to put into words what I feel in my ❤ heart, its just to difficult to find the words. 

The last few days He revealed something to me that I don’t think I ever knew… I hope its ok to tell?  He let me know we both felt the same way the moment we met… Like it was this instant feeling of love, home, and this is forever. Its been a long road, but every moment has brought us closer to what we want, a life together! For the first time in my life I get exactly what I want, how did that happen…

Our time together was beautiful, just perfect. I hope that never changes!

I am absolutely the luckiest babygirl alive! 

I love you Daddy💖💗💞💕

In the blink of an eye

This is not a reg post. This is for one of Daddy’s brothers( best friend). He was in an accident last night, and his life was cut short. He leaves behind his wife and brothers. He will be missed very much so. This is Daddy’s extended family, they mean the world to him, just as me and the kids do. 

Life is never fair, so be sure you live life to the fullest each day. Enjoy your loved ones. Tell those important to you that you love them. For you may not get the chance ever again. 

Death is the most unexplainable thing we ever go through, deal with. There is no way for us to understand the universes infinite ways, therefore its something we question and must accept. We know things happen for a reason, even if we never understand that reason. For those of us left here to sort out feelings, go through memories, we are usually left with more questions than answers. It takes time to heal, but we never forget…

R. You leave behind your family and your extended family. All feel the pain of the loss of you in their lives, Not one left untouched by your passing. Just know you were loved, may that give you everlasting peace.

My sympathy ,for all who are mourning the loss of R. My heart goes out to you, especially my very own Daddy. I’m not sure how to get you through such a loss, but I’m here for you. All of you. If he was Daddy’s family, he was my family too. 

– babygirl

My Master, the most wonderful man ever

My Master/Daddy really is the most wonderful man. Tonight we had dinner together, I try to listen but He’s sexy as hell, I really wanted to just throw the food on the floor and fuck His brains out. I didn’t. I’m trying to be more ladylike, which is what He had wanted. 

I figured while I’m in pain right now, I should take the opportunity to show restraint, be kind , do as He says. I’m hurting so much I don’t think there’s much brat in me right now. I’m not in a very slave place, my mind wants to be, but my body is in pain and so worn out. I’m really am giving it my best.

Tonight, my Master let me know how proud He is of me. I was bewildered, just lost. How on earth could He be proud of me? I’ve done nothing worthy of Him being proud. I did listen to Him. He explained why He’s proud of me. To be honest, I really needed to know. I have felt like such a failure lately, not being able to take care of my Master like I usually do. He’s everything to me. 

I am trying to not feel sorry for myself. I know I won’t feel like this forever. I will soon be back to my slave self. I’m so thankful I have such a great Master. He’s been here for me the whole time, by my side. That’s a first for anyone in my life, besides my kids and my girls. He’s surprised me so much through this. Each time anyone asks how things are going right now, I get teary while I’m talking about Him. He’s one in a million. Its such an honor to be His💞 I’m the luckiest babygirl in the world! 
Thank you Daddy, you are the most precious Master. 

– your kitten Sir

Where you mama?

Recently my kids wanted funny stories, of them, any I could remember. The dollar store story still pulls in the laughs of all the kids. Yes, I’m blonde and I have these moments… 

Dollar stores were a new thing to Az, I wanted to go see what was inside. I had my 2 small boys in tow. J was 5 yrs, so T was 1yr old. 

There weren’t many aisles , only 4. So it was relatively small. J looks up at me and wants to go look at the wall of toys. I let go of his hand and leave him to look, T and I are gonna go explore this new store. I do tell J that when he’s done come find me, there is only 4 aisles.  Behind the counter is this Vietnamese family , the were the owners, there were 5 of them. ( a mom, dad, a boy, a girl and a grandmother). They didn’t take their eyes off me, as I was perusing the aisles.

In the distance, I hear a child cry. I then hear a man ask the child ” where you mama?” I then hear the voice of this small child , its my child! With T in my arms I go to where I left my other son. Yes, he’s crying. He claimed he couldn’t find me. The man and all family members behind the counter give me this look that just made me feel like the worst mother. 

I take my sons hand, and we leave. I didn’t buy anything , I was embarrassed that my 5 yr old son couldn’t find me with only 4 aisles, and I was irritated, cuz there were only 4 aisles. 

Several weeks pass, and i decide to go back in to the dollar store. This time I run over some quick rules. J asks again if he can go look at the toys. I remind him that “when he’s done to come look for me, should be easy, there’s only 4 aisles.”As I leave his side, again T in my arms, I felt much more confident this time. I get down a further down an  aisle this time. I hear a cry from a child in the distance. Then I hear, ” where you mama?”  I’m hoping with everything in me that its not my son. For the love of God and everything holy, don’t let my kid be a moron, again…oh fuck, its my kid AGAIN. The family behind the counter gives this disapproving look. I feel worse then I did the last time. As I get my loving spawn of Satan back to the car, I try to hold back my anger. Ask him, ” how in the hell can you not find me with only 4 aisles?”  all I get in reply, ” I don’t know”. I’m fuming.

Months pass and I decide to try this one more time. I’m going to go into this store more time, no drama. I have my 2 boys by the hand, as I enter the store. J looks up at me as we walked part of the way down an aisle, I was ready for him. 

” don’t you dare ask me if you can look at toys, you can’t. You refuse to try to find me with only 4 damn aisles to this store. I’m done with you leaving my side, so just let me walk through the store, stand here, be quiet.” He tries to say something else. ” just hush”.  I know I sounded harsh, but it wouldn’t happen again. 

In the distance, I hear a child’s cry, I look down at my side, and my 5 yr old is there! Its not my kid this time! no one can make me feel like a bad mom this time. Then I hear, ” where you mama?”  I’m still feeling this happy warm feeling in my heart , so glad its not me this time. But I look at my other side and realize T is gone. OH GOD ,WHERE IS MY BABY?? I’m freaking out. I’m going through the 4 aisles ,which feels like more when you panic. I go to the toys. There is my sweet boy, looking at toys and crying cuz he couldn’t find me. 

The man gives me my son. I refuse to look at him or his family. I couldn’t believe it happened again! How did it happen again? Then it hits me, when I bent over to be face to face with J so he knew I meant business this time, I let go of T’s hand. I didn’t mean to, it just happened. I did ask J a question… 

“Why didn’t you tell me that I let go of your brothers hand? ”

” mom, I was going to but you told me off and then said let you look in quiet” 

Kids… 

Well, I never did go back into that store,ever. We do occasionally drive past it, and now the kids are much older, we all break into laughter, and we all say, ” where you mama?”  good times!