Problems? We ain’t got no stinkin problems.

Today is about problems within your bdsm relationship and how we deal with them. My girlfriend’s each have a different area of their lives that is challenging right now. That’s reality. Even those crazy vanilla people have problems to. But within bdsm we are supposed to be more connected, deepen our communication, make the Dom, or sub more important so we can avoid problems.

Funny thing, no matter what, life hands you lemons. It’s what you do with them that counts. OK, so vetting is one thing, and in bdsm we definitely encourage it. Take the time to see if this is the person for you. Can you be in charge of this sub/slave? Can you submit to this Dom? These are great questions, but many only see the sex side, and forget that a real relationship is forming. Put sex aside, if you can’t ,at least in your mind so you can be real with yourself. Do you really belong with this person? My true thoughts here : is that you will need 3-6months to truly answer that question. No one can hide their true self forever, and don’t lie to yourself. Some of you knew it was wrong from the start(anyone can tell, you’re in denial). 

I know in the wonderful world of bdsm, it’s damn hard to wait for “the one”. But I’m gonna say it! Yep, it’s so worth it! My Daddy is “the one”. A bit of advice, you CAN find ‘ the one’ , and still fuck it up. So take your time. If you’re planning long term, then taking your time just makes sense. I’ve trained subs/slaves for a long time. The hardest part was telling them everything I’m writing here, to have it fall on deaf ears. They would be collared in weeks, maybe a month. Yes, I have a problem with that. It’s the equivalent to an engagement ring, would you get engaged after weeks with someone, I’m hoping the answer is no. These same women come crying to me pretty fast, that it didn’t work out and I trained them wrong. Nope, I’m not responsible for your victim shit.

What went wrong so fast? Well, do you really know each other. Did you accept that person and all their baggage? If you want any relationship, you must realize we ALL have baggage. Unless your Dom/sub has been on a deserted island for many years , highly unlikely, then we all come with baggage. For the relationship to work, you must be comfortable enough to unpack that baggage, and both sort it all out. First, get past the honeymoon phase, usually 3-6 months. If you can get to that point and you still respect each other, the passion is alive and burning, you have a chance.

This is no ordinary relationship. If you have or are a Dom, you’re in charge of this crazy train. Hopefully you’ve weighed it all and feel you want the sub before you, her baggage too. As his/her Dom you will require him/her unpack and start moving on from the past. Set her up to be the best she can be. The Dom sets the tone , rules, structure, boundaries within this relationship. So it’s up to the Dom to present to you have He/She wants the relationship. Yeah subbies, you might get many choices, or any at all.  If He is kind ,He will want to know your thoughts on how you feel. He still has final say. My own Daddy will ask for my real thoughts, so if I’m questioning anything, confused, or feel I’m not wanting something in my life well ,we talk. I usually ask for time to think, He has granted that each time, He knows I’m a thinker. He knows when I’m ready I will ask to talk soon. I always know He is listening to me. I also know His word is final say. If at any point I can no longer serve Him, I’m free to walk away, but He would rather I communicate first. Since I suck at communication I do try my best to respectfully say what I need to say, in hopes that He’s listening and can guide me if I’m not correct in how I see things,Which is my turn to listen. We aren’t perfect, but we’ve come a long way!

As the sub, remember you serve. Can you serve on your good days and bad days too. There is no difference to the Dom in your life. He will want to know why you’re not yourself, Dom/sub, we are all human, but you still serve Him. I can only think of a few times you’d be excused from serving, at least for a bit. 

1. You died, jk. A family/friend died

2. You had a baby

3. You’re sick as a dog

4. There could be a few more, but nothing comes to mind.

Can a sub really deal with serving even when it feels the world is against you. Because that’s what you’re signing up for. I get to hear subs complain, “He treats me like I’m His indentured servant”. My first thought , ‘ I’m not surprised’, but you are,why? We made it clear what a submissive is/does. If you romanticized it, or thought it wasn’t really like that, who’s problem is that?

In the lifestyle, we have vanilla times/ moments. But we are still fully lifestyle. Even after my surgery, my Master wanted to know how I was doing, when would I be myself again. Was He being selfish,No,I am His. We are not vanilla, although while I healed we had some vanilla moments. His actions before/ after surgery showed me how much He loves me, His property. And I was focused on getting better quickly, I love to serve, it gives me purpose. I am happy when I can do for Him. He can count on me. Are we perfect, not by a long shot, but we are very good together, we balance each other very well. And after all this time together, that’s promising. We couldn’t fake it this long, OK a complete psycho could, but we are normal kinky ppl.

When I hear issues from friends, my first thought is, ‘ go talk to your dominant’. I do listen, but I will want you to do the work that our lifestyle requires. ‘ is this the real problem?’ , ‘ is there something underlying going on instead?’ ‘what is your struggle really about?’. I don’t like excuses, I like working on it. I like to think first, especially in my own life. I ask myself if this is why I’m really upset. Think it through. 

I do like the concept of living together first before anything to permanent. Do you really belong together? Where do squeeze the toothpaste from? Do you talk or fight? Can you clean up after your dominant day after day? ( Even after a hard day at work). How will you balance Dom/work/kids? ( Or is calgon just gonna take you away each night). It’s hard to get upset with your dominant when you signed up for this life. You knew what you were getting into, now you’re trying to act like a victim. Nope. Can you imagine if you got married to quickly? You would have to stick it out, or go get divorced, but there were answers right before your eyes, you ignored them. 

I guess you lied to yourself. You lied to your SO. You don’t have follow thru, or you watched 50 shades. Sorry subbies not every Dom is a millionaire, or gonna let you call the shots. You really will be serving Him, cleaning/dusting/vacuuming/ doing laundry/dishes/cooking/ entertaining/ raising kids , in His castle. 

In our lifestyle it’s not up for debate, it’s not a democracy, it’s the Dom’s way or no way. Now hopefully you took your time and got the right Dom for you. Not a fake or phony. Someone looking for a victim, or  He’s an abuser. This is your life, plan it well. Keep in mind, we all have our way of doing things, we all have problems. In the lifestyle we should be working on those problems, and any that come up in the relationship. How you communicate and work things out, should tell you a lot. Will you and your dominant last a long time? I hope you can honestly say yes. 

Problems will show up from time to time. It’s how you and your dominant tackle them together that counts. Just keep in mind, no one is perfect. But two ppl who want the same things, grow together, listen, and find their balance in our lifestyle have a great chance at succeeding. 

Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah ( Starts tonight!).

– His babygirl

Advertisements

Dear Santa…

I need to see Santa, we’ve got some things to discuss. Maybe negotiate a little bit?  I could flat out ask him to give me all the stuff I want! I know it’s only Santa, not a magical lamp. Oh my, a magical lamp with a genie inside! Infinity wishes! No no no… We’re getting off track, how far would I have to travel for the magical lamp , especially without a magic carpet to get me there quickly, I’ve got no time for that. I need Santa. 

I need a plan. How do I get that fat, judgmental bastard to give me everything I want/need? Would he really turn his back on the sweetest babygirl ever? OK, maybe not ever. 

Maybe I can disguise myself, get a fake ID. But then that doesn’t seem right cuz this is Santa. He sees me when I’m sleeping, knows if I’ve been bad or good, I should’ve been good, for goodness sake. But I took that to mean it was more of a suggestion,then outright law. If I’m good for at least one day, half a day, OK an hour! Would that show Santa I tried? Now he can help me with a job, money for bills,food. A better car, clothes, a home. Oh yeah, and sprinkle some magic in the lives of those I love:

  • Daddy and his kids
  • My bff and her kids
  • My bff and her new hubby
  • My bratty bff and her new hubby
  • My kids
  • The homeless guy I saw this morning 
  • Me,me,me,me,me

I know I’m usually not selfish, but if Santa has some magic, I want it all. At least right now. I could write him a letter of all the things I want right now. But then it’s days before Xmas, will he even see it. Mall Santa? No, they are just horny Santa’s that won’t care either. I can text him, email him. I will probably have to start my email to like this:

       Dear Santa, let me explain…

What if Daddy knows Santa, and has already let him know I’ve been a very bad girl,by Daddy’s standards. He wouldn’t let Santa bring me anything. But Daddy, I need some stuff…

What if Daddy was Santa? Nah, Daddy isn’t fat,old, have a round belly,no long white beard. But He does like me to sit on His lap and tell Him what I want like the naughty girl I am. Umm I mean nice girl that I am! Nice nice nice, all day long.

Will Santa give me a reprieve from the past year? I hope so. What if he doesn’t, what if being bad has put me on the ‘naughty list’ permanently? What if he sees me, lets me start to talk, then stops me and says; ” you’ve been a very bad girl, I can’t help you”. This is what I’ll expect from him.

I could flirt with Santa, flash him a smile,show some cleavage, sit on his lap and make it hot. Promise to give him stuff, if he gives me stuff. Daddy would likely not understand, and I’d be in more trouble. OK, not sexy with Santa. 

How do I get what I want???

Could he surprise me? Sure. Will I get all I ask for? I won’t know til I ask. I won’t lie to him, like promise to be good, try harder, we both know I’m not gonna do that. 

Maybe that magical lamp is sounding better and better. 

-His babygirl

Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa,

From Daddy and babygirl!

If you never hear from me again, then you know that Santa and Daddy took care of my bratty ass, send help!

What’s my problem?

Whats my problem…
What am I talking about? Well, right now I’m feeling utterly useless. I was told I could go back to work, but my boss is no longer working me. I’m not even sure I have a job. Guess that last statement is a big part of my problem. I feel rejected, I was a very hard worker,now I’m thrown out like yesterday’s garbage, easily replaced. I don’t even know how to ask if I still even have a job. 
Yesterday, I sort of went off the deep end when Daddy’s ex did something nice for Him. I took it as rejection too, like I could be easily replaced. Only I couldn’t handle that one. Work can come and go, I will figure it out. But my Daddy, well that’s just a whole other thing in my life. He can’t be replaced. I love Him. I would be lost without Him. Maybe her actions weren’t necessarily to hurt me, but it sure felt like it.

I’m feeling overly sensitive right now, clingy, needy, pathetic. But then I realize I’m scared, I haven’t worked one day this month so far. I’m used to busting my ass for my family. They aren’t getting much of a Xmas, yet they aren’t complaining. I’m trying not to complain, I’m not in pain all day long anymore. Surgery was worth it! Now the price I’m paying is very difficult. 

When will work happen. I’ve put in several apps for jobs. Someone please call. I see no way out, I have no plan. I feel like I’m losing everything. I have my Daddy, but then I’m making Him miserable,along with the kids. How do I say ‘ I’m feeling so bad about myself’.
So, basically this sucks, I need a job. I still have the best Daddy in the world (thank you Daddy), I have the best kids too. Life has to get better. It will get better 

He’s my heart and soul.

Last week has been super rough. He’s been there every step of the way, right by my side, encouraging me, talking to me, loving me, caring for me, helping me. I feel very vulnerable right now. I saw Him, how He handled it all. The words He spoke each time I had a meltdown. 

My heart beats for Him only. My soul feels settled when He’s around. Last night was hard to take, my reality is difficult right now. He let me drink, I got to relax, let my mind go. He showed up to spend time together, no kids. It was so good! I got sex! It was amazing, as usual. It had been so long I was trying to tell myself, ‘like riding a bike’. It was nothing like riding a bike! So much better than that! I felt whole again, connected. 

At lunch I took something the wrong way, it ruined our whole vibe. I’ll admit, right now, I’m not in a fun mood. There’s so much on my mind. He felt I don’t trust Him. I’m learning to. It does grow stronger all the time. 

I’d like some credit! I never felt less than during a threesome. He was attentive, even though I couldn’t do much after surgery, He made sure I was fine, and I was! Still am! It did take time to get here, He has put in the time. I’m very thankful for that. He’s the strongest man I know. He’s taken on so much with taking me as His babygirl/slave, and taking on my kiddos.

Some time alone to think gave me perspective. I’ve been upset for quite some time over something neither of us can change from the past. I thought about Him for a while. He must be so tired, of feeling helpless to change things He cannot change. I noticed I never ask Him where He finds the strength to get thru. I never ask Him how He has been dealing with this situation for so long. Does He just want to lash out irrationally sometimes, yet holds strong that someday it will be over. Maybe someday I should sit down with Him and just really listen, let Him get it all out. I know He has in bits n pieces. I guess I’ve only seen it from my side, how I feel, how much I hate this. How I feel disrespected, hurt, demeaned. How much worse must He feel, because He’s a man we figure they should deal with it.

My respect for grew so much once I thought this from His side. How trapped He must have felt for so long. How many times we’ve talked and He has renewed hope for it to be done soon. I realized today, because it has been happening for so long, it affected my trust. Not in any other way, but when will we get off this carousel ride from hell. As I see my trust had been shaken since it hasn’t gone away. I know I can’t leave His side, I want to be His strength when He’s had enough. Believe me, I heard the tone of His voice, He’s so done. It showed me His strength today, I didn’t see weakness. He doesn’t feel sorry for Himself, OK maybe He does every once in a while, who could blame Him. 

He has hope, and faith that one day soon it will be done. I’m going to try to look at this how sees it so I stay strong too. I want to be His rock too! I want to be someone He trusts to talk to about anything, oh yeah, He does.

I felt so dumb not seeing His side of this. What would anyone feel like when they don’t have full control over their life. He has shown me that men don’t dwell on things they can’t change. He’s waiting patiently, same way I’ll wait as I’m by His side. I want to be part of His solution, not part of His problem. Somedays I worry that what if we do the same things we did in old relationships, it hits me it won’t work. Part of me is glad we’ve never rushed our relationship into anything, we know each other well. OK, there’s this small hopeless romantic part that would runaway with Him, and live on love! 

I know even when we have disagreements, I’m not looking for a way out. I’m trying to find a way to be stronger. Damn, He’s changed me so much. Even as I watched my week suck ass , He wanted me to get strong, stay strong. Today I understood why! If I had to deal with the bullshit He has, and for so long as He has, He must look at everyones problems around Him, and they pale in comparison. He’s understanding, but get a grip. He has never said those words, but does He feel them? 

My job as His slave, is to make His life easier, to serve, to love, to care, to be His toy, to be His woman by His side, forevermore. 

It’s a pleasure to be His, I like our life, my trust gets better all the time Sir. Someday I’ll be there. Today I got it! 

Love you Daddy 

-His babygirl

Always Daddy…

I realized I won!

Tonight, wasn’t so great. Mother nature is a cunt. I hate you you bitch. I just wanted some time with Him, and you cock blocked me. Then my tire has a blowout. I couldn’t change the tire, no tools, no jack, no way I’m gonna lift tge tire. I need help. I need Daddy.

I’m not good at asking for help. There have been a few men who humiliated me once I needed help. I vowed to myself I would never ask a man for help again. The thought is just not logical. Sometimes we just need help. Whether it be a ketchup bottle, someone to listen, or change a tire. I have had to learn to ask Him for help. More times than I like to admit. But He’s always there, He’s never humiliated me. I fall in love with Him more when He’s there rescuing me. I never knew I could love being rescued. My Daddy is my hero. I never had that in my actual father,nor my ex. 

Then I learned tonight that I’ve been waiting patiently for karma to pay my ex back for all that he has done to my kids, to me. But karma never comes. Instead I get to watch him buy off-road toys, go hunting, help his nieces and nephews with their children, yet he ignores ours. Hardly gives me any money to take care of them. I try to not complain, because life is much better. I’m not with the asshole anymore , so life is good. I’m not being hit, put down, treated with disgust, called fat, have to hear how sexy other women are. 

Life did give me something that I will cherish til the day I die. I get to spend the rest of my life with Daddy! See, nothing to complain about. He treats me like a queen. He’s attentive, loving. My god, He loves me so much. He loves my children, He treats them better than their own father. Nothing is to hard for Daddy. He’s been feeling like crap, it was hard to ask for help for that reason alone, He needs His rest. Now He has to rescue me. There was no one else. My Daddy has even helped His Exes. I often wondered why, His response puzzled me. He wanted His children to know that even though He wasn’t with their mother ,He did love her at one time and she takes care of his kids ,so it’s ok to help when she needs it. He does have His limits. But He’s a great example of what a ‘real’ man is like, should be like. I notice my respect for Daddy grows the more I watch Him. How He reacts to the world around Him. He’s a good man! My good man. Bitches back off, I’m not about to lose this man. Ever!  I am going to try my hardest to ask for help, let Him rescue me. I want to learn what a ‘real’ is like in every aspect of the word. I’m worth it, He thinks so! 

I get to spend the rest of my life with tge man of my dreams! Maybe that’s the karma everyone is talking about. I just need my Big Daddy! Life is good💖

Thank you Daddy, I love you more! 

– His babygirl

Time for SEX!!!! 

Yay! My dr gave me the green light for work and sex! Omg!!!

I can hardly wait to have my Daddy back inside my body, it’s been months that He’s had to take it easy on me, im not sure I can take everything He will dish out, but I’m up for whatever and however He wants to use His slave. I’m the luckiest girl in the world!

I get to be used by my Master! For His pleasure, which excites the hell out of me. For the love of God, ive been patient. The pain was awful. I’m so looking forward to feeling His fingers on my body, as He traces the outline of this body that belongs to Him. Every inch of me in His hands, very capable hands. 

His lips touching mine, as He works down to the part of my neck, He knows the spot! and places a soft kiss  there. Omg! He knows what makes me wet, makes my body start to shake and quiver. 

I can hardly wait to be on my knees before Him, serving the Master who owns my heart , body, and soul. I couldn’t love anyone more than the man who puts me first in His life. 

Daddy, thank you for the time ,before and after surgery, that you have given me. I haven’t been in a mood to serve, you’ve been the most patient Master. Attentive,loving, caring. I’m the luckiest woman alive!