Whats my problem…
What am I talking about? Well, right now I’m feeling utterly useless. I was told I could go back to work, but my boss is no longer working me. I’m not even sure I have a job. Guess that last statement is a big part of my problem. I feel rejected, I was a very hard worker,now I’m thrown out like yesterday’s garbage, easily replaced. I don’t even know how to ask if I still even have a job.
Yesterday, I sort of went off the deep end when Daddy’s ex did something nice for Him. I took it as rejection too, like I could be easily replaced. Only I couldn’t handle that one. Work can come and go, I will figure it out. But my Daddy, well that’s just a whole other thing in my life. He can’t be replaced. I love Him. I would be lost without Him. Maybe her actions weren’t necessarily to hurt me, but it sure felt like it.
I’m feeling overly sensitive right now, clingy, needy, pathetic. But then I realize I’m scared, I haven’t worked one day this month so far. I’m used to busting my ass for my family. They aren’t getting much of a Xmas, yet they aren’t complaining. I’m trying not to complain, I’m not in pain all day long anymore. Surgery was worth it! Now the price I’m paying is very difficult.
When will work happen. I’ve put in several apps for jobs. Someone please call. I see no way out, I have no plan. I feel like I’m losing everything. I have my Daddy, but then I’m making Him miserable,along with the kids. How do I say ‘ I’m feeling so bad about myself’.
So, basically this sucks, I need a job. I still have the best Daddy in the world (thank you Daddy), I have the best kids too. Life has to get better. It will get better