How did that happen? What happened?

I’ve never had everything I’ve ever wanted, until now. The last week with my Master has been the most incredible, we’ve had the most honest,real moments. We’ve yelled, we argued, we loved, we apologized. All the while staying close but being real with one another. This drove the sex thru the roof! Omg!  I feel like I can’t get enough of Him. 

No matter what kind of moment we have had this week, raw emotion to dirty, we do it together. He has opened His heart and let me in like never before. I’m thinking I did ask for that, and I guess I had no idea how much He protects me from all these things, but the words He spoke as my mind and heart just listened. He wasn’t keeping me out( my interpretation, that He was)He had been protecting me. As He spoke I could tell it was serious for Him, for us. We will go thru everything together.

In that moment my first reaction was  ” how could you keep this from me?” Then as He kept talking my mind went to “whatever He goes thru, I’m right here. I’ll be His strength, I’ll be whatever He needs. We will get thru this, we will go thru this each step of the way, together.”

Now I know He has much stress on Him. I hate that part, I definitely don’t want to add to it. Now that He’s being transparent with me, part of me wishes I had a magic wand to change it for Him. It feels so much closer now between us, I’m glad He protects me, but I like being in the know as well. I have so much respect for Him that He might feel frustrated and lost about how things in the near future will go, I don’t blame Him, I would be too. Actually I’m already there. There has been lots to process.

The other part of me looked at the man standing before me. The path He’s heading down is full of uncertainty, He has no fear, but definitely deep concerns. Who wouldn’t? I really got to see the other side of our life together. He’s our strength. How do dominants do it? I have such a hard time when one thing falls apart. But He holds so much in His mind, His hands, and His heart. I was alittle upset hearing new things, I felt that maybe I failed, He didn’t think He could trust me with this. As He kept talking I felt something else. He trusted me, but this was a touchy subject, delicate. Men, not just dominants, don’t always like to talk about everything. He had talked to His father, another wise thinker, but there was nothing new for my Master to grasp. I realized He was thinking about it so much, that time with me gave Him that break from reality, if only for a while. My heart aches for Him. I want to tell Him that, I want to ask how He’s doing? I want Him to talk to me, if anything new happens, I want to hear about it. Go thru this together, I don’t want Him to pick and choose which things He wants me by His side for. I want to be there for all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. 

I want to know that we are really great together, for each other. We’ve wasted time on the wrong ppl before. But I like to see how we get from A to Z together. I won’t fall apart. I won’t ask you ten million questions that you don’t want to answer, or don’t know the answers to. I want to be your safe place. I want to feel like home for you. I want you to be able to tell me everything and know I’m really listening. I do care, I wish I could change it. 

I either want to celebrate with you, or I want my heart to break right along side yours, we pick up the pieces together and put us back together again, even stronger than before. I don’t want anything in this world to pull us apart. I love that you have let me in, I really needed it. I needed to know you trust me, and for my trust to grow even more. It has, in leaps and bounds. You gave me a gift the moment the words fell from your lips. A gift I will cherish, always. 

As the end of the week showed up. I had to know if there was time for us, thank you that. I felt closer to you in that moment ,more than all the time we’ve been together. And it’s been great, but this was a whole new level. Something almost transcendent. Like a whole new realm we’ve never been to before. Our bodies had sex, but our souls made love in perfect time together. One kiss from you burned with such passion and heat, like from the sun itself. You touched me on a level that no one ever had before. We both felt it, we both needed it, we both deserve it. We have been hurt so much before, but this, what we have can’t be undone. The universe brought us together. And it keeps getting better, and hotter between us. I finally understand all the things ppl say about love, I can feel it eminate from you like electricity. I’m drawn to you, to your side. Which is the place I want to be in your life, by your side. 

Whatever that was that happened to us, was magical, I’ll never forget it. I know it won’t ever happen with anyone else. As it’s never happened before. But I want it to happen again, with only you, and for the rest of our lives.

I love you, but these words don’t even begin to describe what love really is. Think of the other night/morning, then you, and only you, will understand how deeply I feel for you! Love is the word I will use Daddy, Master, my rock, my King but it doesn’t come close . There are no words for what happened. 

Babygirl

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