As i talked to bestie today, cuz i didn’t go to work. I did have a list of things to get done, I’ll get to it, this is important too. I have hidden my feelings for a while, the deepest ones, so i couldn’t get hurt.
I can tell you, without telling you. It’s like Daddy has been a soldier at war nearly everyday of the ,almost, 2 yrs we’ve been together. I’m the woman at home who will be His strength, His safe place as He stands to fight. Be His cheerleader, give Him hope. The battle could last a while, and it has. As this battle is firing from both sides, it’s nearly out of ammo. But there could be one big casualty. I know He’s fought a good fight, a fair fight to save the ppl from any casualties, but it wasn’t His choice.
He’s such a good man. He can save Himself, and those He loves. But one owns His heart right along with me. She’s blonde, has His smile, is cute as can be, and 2. How can He save her. He’s doing His best. There is no crystal ball to see how this will go. He’s not ready to wave the white flag, but He’s preparing Himself.
I am watching, waiting to hear good news from the front lines. Meanwhile, life with Him as been quite the ride, worth every minute. I think He’s more a lover than fighter, but don’t cross Him to find out. He will fight when He has to.
What He doesn’t know? Is that my respect for grows immensely each time we go thru the tough stuff, our relationship tested, can we survive another hit? Hell yes! We are both fighters when need be. I’ve waited my whole life for a love like His. I will fight til my dying breath so He knows I’m standing here, whatever He needs. I do patch Him emotionally and send Him back to the front lines. His courage exceeds my own. We give to each other, in these moments,what we need for ourselves. Part of being a couple. No one said it would be easy, but it’s worth it. Everytime!
As the fight He’s in seems to be near the end, i worry about the outcome for Him. It could be the most crushing blow we have ever felt. But I’m ready to give Him all my strength, my love, my very soul should He need it.
I told Him recently that at times my trust has waivered, after really thinking about earlier today. I felt shame, it wasn’t Him who caused it, it was all me. I listened to lies. I saw things with my own eyes and was warned by Him to not take it seriously, not even look. I did anyway. All it did was give turmoil. That was my own fault. I must ask Him to forgive me, His humbled slave, who truly loves Him, would die for Him. I’ve wronged Him. I doubted Him. He only showed me patience and love , understanding. He still always believed in me, but i had a hard time returning the favor. I hope it find myself worthy of such love. He is the greatest man i know.
It is an honor to belong to Him. I must say, it’s good to let all the past go, concentrate on what lies ahead. It will be hard, tough. But I’m tougher. I will be whatever He needs. I will give more love, more understanding than He knows what to do with. For this man deserves a treasure fit for a king.