To care or not to care, it’s all up to you

Recently, listening to a few friends about their relationships,they want my advice. Me? I am divorced, I dated some assholes, but Daddy was a complete surprise! I got it right this time, and I don’t know how, I’m just thankful each and every day. 

I’m listening to these two go on and on. For the life in me I don’t like hearing the negative, go  I like things that are positive, uplifting. Neither can tell me why they chose the person in their lives. But they want me to be judge/jury of the male in their lives. In all fairness, I can’t help I’ve never met either man. How do I know they really did anything wrong? How do I know these females are just being female? Maybe their time of the month? Maybe they forget their place( both in the lifestyle) 

I try to reiterate to both I’m not a therapist, I’m not qualified to give advice. I’ll listen but that’s it, they must form their own thoughts and opinions in their lives. Look at me, I stayed to long with an abusive ex, my REAL friends couldn’t make up my mind for me, but they all congratulated me on getting out, ALIVE. I have scars, fears, but I got out! These two aren’t being abused, I see the biggest problem is no communication. That’s a relationship killer, even with our lifestyle.

I could only tell them both how I do my own relationship, how I think/ feel. Then I sent them off to their lives to hopefully really think.

I told them both I’m a Libra, we are very caring, supportive, need balance, need the other person to be fair, and we will be fair, Libras are not self centered, I’m a giver, I need love but will show immense love. But there’s the other side to me. 

The dark side. I’m emotional, I have never been jealous in my life but with Daddy I’m crazy, off the charts jealous. My kids and my friends who have known me a long time laugh and let me know it’s cute, I don’t feel cute. But I know me, once I stop caring , arguing, expressing my ideas, thoughts,opinions, I cut communication I’m pretty much done. It usually means I know there’s an expiration date. With both women I could only share who I am, how I deal with things. 

Even as they both read this blog, you know who you are! I still have no opinion. I do see your sides, but there should be balance, the men in your life should hear how you feel. And I hope you listen to them as well. You fell in love for some reason so dig deep. If there is no abuse then find out how to work on things. I do hope you find a good way to communicate instead of blame. 

Both asked me how I deal with my emotions when I’m upset. I do try to go to my Daddy as soon as I can, but I am great at stuffing things and not dealing with it, Daddy hates that. I do try to talk to Him like in a regular conversation, the past taught me that screaming and tears are not good for females when you want to be listened to. Yes, there are times when I forget my place as His slave and I’m not nice , He does get that back in His control quickly. He still listens, but no amount of me being nice at that moment  will stop the inevitable. Even in the lifestyle I’m human, Daddy knows this. Sometimes we all get angry, argumentative, not so fun to be around. Thank goodness it’s only moments. 

I’m not sure I answered any questions. But I let you know me. How I think. How I feel. How I try to handle things in my own life, and when I know it’s time to walk away, or time to work shit out. You must be OK with yourself as a person to know you made the best decision whether you stay or go. And no one, not even me can do that for you. I see both situations and I promise you this I can tell which one should stay and work it out, and which one should call it a day. Now it’s up to you both to figure it out for yourselves. I do care about you both and I see that you will both make the right decision. It’s not easy to do what’s right in life sometimes, or to become a single parent. I’m here for that too. I’ve been doing it for quite a while. I make it look easy as someone told me,lol. It’s not, but it can be done. 

Just don’t replace one man with a different man. I will voice my opinions on that. If anyone leaves, then learn who you are as a person. Learn to like yourself as you are, make changes as needed before you add someone into your or your kids lives. Learn to just be you! Once you do that, and you accept yourself you are ready to move on. 

Good luck with the big decisions, all the talks that need to take place. Remember, I’m always up for listening! It’s up to you both to figure out if you still care, or you don’t care anymore. 


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