A very long day

I’ve been in need of rest for several days. Saturday I spent a good part of eight hours wet from rain. I work outside, in a way. I was soaked. No way to get warm, but I never complained to anyone. I just wanted some rest, and to see my Daddy.  I had no idea He needed me to. 

Today, if it could be worse, it sure was. My morning was spent driving in the rain, from store to store, finding the perfect outfit. I’m not sure I accomplished that, but I tried. I did wake up with a bad cough, and sinus pressure. I do not feel good, I tried not to complain. I did get a text that made me feel I’d get to see Him. Much to my surprise that wouldn’t happen. I need Him right now. I had no idea He needed me too.

I went for a drive tonight. I wound up at one of our favorite restaurants. Missing Him, longing for Him. I just really needed His strong arms around me. His voice to be reassuring, and hear Him say:  ” nothing will harm you babygirl, or our family”. All I needed, wanted from Him. I had no idea He needed, wanted me to be there for Him to.

He promised me long ago, that He’d love me, feed me, and never leave me. But no Daddy showed up when I felt I needed Him the most.I thought about this a while,The thing that happened was cops were called, someone tried to get into my home tonight. Police have failed me so many times, so anything they say ,I don’t trust. My only thought was I wanted my Daddy. No one else would do. I was a million miles away all day from everyone. It didn’t matter how many ppl were around me to make me feel better,no one is Him. No one can reach me on the deepest level as He can.

On the other side of town ,is a Master having a rough day, my Master. He is the person everyone goes to for support, but does anyone want to support Him when He needs it? I do. Where should He go when the weight of the world is on His shoulders? To me. But I couldn’t be there for Him tonight. Same as He couldn’t be there for me either. He always appears so strong to me, like there’s nothing He can’t handle., I actually need Him to tell me when He needs me to be His strength. As I should have told Him tonight. Neither of us are psychic or read minds. I would gladly be there for Him. I would listen. On those days when there are no words, I hold Him. He does that for me as well. Tonight we both needed each other so much, but things went wrong. 

I know if anything had happened to us, He would have been right there. I didn’t know how to tell Him that even though we were OK, my daughter and I still very much needed Him. He’s our protector, we know with Him we are safe. But on the other hand, how is He supposed to give more and more of Himself when He had quite a bad weekend, He felt to many ppl needed His time and attention, Him to be there for them. He felt disrespected by ppl. So, seriously how is supposed to keep giving to others, when it doesn’t feel like anyone cares about Him, what He’s going thru. I care, I very much care. 

So where do these two ppl go when they are both having one hell of a night? I needed Him to be my strength, He needed me to be His. But in fact we both missed the mark. Missed the point of what was going on. He couldn’t hear me, I couldn’t hear Him. It’s like in a storm and the power is down. Now we must work to get the power back up, because that’s what you do when you love someone. You don’t have to take vows to be in a relationship, but you should be able to count on each other in sickness and health, thru good days and bad. 

That’s what real love is all about. Getting things right back on track where they were. Being stronger for the next time the world tries to knock you both down. Put pride aside. No, you are not selfish in a relationship, it’s always about both of you. 

Even lifestyle ppl can have bad days. It won’t last forever. We get back up and keep going . Love each other unconditional, come what may. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary. Keep in mind this is different from anyone I’ve ever been with. I know where I belong, in my Daddy’s arms.His arms were made for me! On His bad days He puts His head on my chest, my boobs make great pillows! And we both just breathe. No one else can get me to breathe like he does. No one else can make sense like He does. I hope He feels the same about me. 

So, today sucked. Tomorrow is a whole new day. Daddy doesn’t think I need to stay afraid. So I will try to let it go. I love my Daddy. The man who shows me who I am, believes in me, helps me face this fucked up world.

I love you Daddy. Sorry things didn’t go so great this weekend, but like you say, tomorrow is a new day! I can hardly wait to see you. Feel you, breathe you. 

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