I can’t sleep tonight

I can’t sleep partly because I’m coughing my ass off. I cough and cough and my kids remind me that I’m coughing so loud it wakes them up, sry kiddos. And if you think my coughing is keeping you up, try being me.

I counted sheep, drank lots water, had to pee real bad, got more water. Nothing has helped. Soon I’ll be out of bed taking my son to work, hoping I’ll be at work myself. I’m nervous cuz I’ve missed to many days. So I tried to make the best of it. But now I’m gonna complain. My patience has worn thin with my boss.

It’s now 5am, I get a text! From Daddy. I don’t usually get texts that early from Him, so what a great surprise! We get a few mins to talk before He starts to head to work. In our short conversation He reminds me how much He loves and misses me! Is that the Sweetest thing ever! Every slave,sub, babygirl needs that.

He lets me know to that when with friends recently that He was talking about me, actually He used the word bragging about His slave. I’m not really curious as to what thing I’ve done to make Him happy, that is how I live my life, to make Him happy. He said enough. I was happy that just doing my job gave Him something to be proud of. He seemed like He wanted me to know, only I’m not curious. I was happy that He is pleased. Everything else is just noise. He did feel I should be more into this.

But here’s my own thinking: I’m doing my job as your slave if you are that happy with me as your slave. So, I have no need to know why. I know that there are women who live their lives trying to gain recognition, I’m not one of them. And by not knowing it is far more humbling to a slave. With me what you get is what you see. I do nothing to get noticed by anyone, but Him. When He’s pleased, I’m pleased. The fact still remains that you are happy with me. For me, that was enough. It was plenty. 

The other side of this coin is, that most women in our lifestyle don’t have much self esteem, me included. I’ve had to many years of men or dominants tear me down. To build a person back up, well that takes years to undo all the damage from before and give her the self esteem that she’s your queen. I don’t see myself as a queen by His side. But as His servant, His slave. 

Many women in our lifestyle build themselves up under false pretenses,or false pride. This I’ve seen many times, that is not what the LS is about. I’m very old school. 

I’m happy my Master is pleased with me, that’s all I heard! 

Thank you Master

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