He did give me something most wonderful,I get to talk! My gbff came over last night, we talked and talked for hours. He has known me longer than most people, and he definitely wanted to know what was up with me…
All I told him was that my Daddy wants me to talk. That my Daddy said in the two years we’ve been together I haven’t talked much. Well that’s mostly lifestyle. I have never been given the green light to talk. I can’t remember a master or a Dom who wanted me to talk, occasionally yes, but for the most part I was to be seen and not heard. That has been the norm for the lifestyle.
Other slaves I know , most are like me, quiet. We are reserved until we are together having some girl time, we can’t shut up! If we text each other, we can’t shut up! We are female, we don’t shut up, but any master walk in the room, we STOP, dead in our tracks. It goes back to quick answers. ‘Yes Sir’ ‘ No Sir’.
Our job as a slave: to listen, to serve, to respect, to give, to care, to answer, to please, to be of use. Does it sound like we talk much? We don’t. We all can go to our Masters and ask to speak, when we really need to talk. That doesn’t mean things will change. But we were heard. It’s how a slave is taught to communicate.
Now He’s changed things. He gave me this ‘ gift of gab’. He did not say if there were any rules. Like, do I still need to ask Him if I may speak and then actually speak. Maybe rules are coming. Maybe He wanted to see if I could even open up. But He started this, it’s pouring out of me. I haven’t held back. I just say it. It’s so exciting! I’m actually breathing easier, my stomach doesn’t hurt and it always hurts. It’s like I’m not stuffing it all for once, and staying silent. I can see how it could get out of hand. I know when I’m around people in Daddy’s life, do NOT make Him regret this gift. I’m to be seen and not heard at those times. How do I know? Cuz He never said it was a free for all. Say what I want, to anyone I want, at anytime I want. What He said was talk to me.
This gift might be reserved for Him only. But being His property I also have to think about my position in the world as well. A slave would never run at the mouth and embarrass her Master. So there really are plenty of times when I just shut up in public, to friends, to family. But recently I haven’t. All of them saying the same question, ‘ What’s this new thing?’
I’m talking! Yes, there are words coming out of my mouth bitches, and most of you have just begun to hear me.
I do wonder will He take this gift from me, just have enough of me talking. Cuz I’ve got things to say! I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially Him. But what if I need to say something? There are times, many times, like when He’s on His phone so much I just really want to say, “please put your phone down I really need your time” but I don’t say anything. Or one of my kids, I really want to say: ” go live your gd life, quit making me take care of your ass. You don’t give 100% to be independent, and you seem perfectly fine with me taking care of you. You shouldn’t be fine with this, I love you but I’m fucking exhausted”. I let this same child know that since I cosigned for a car that went back to the bank, you ruined my credit, but you’re gonna help me pay for the bankruptcy. He’s owed me money in the past and I let it go, but this won’t be forgiven. You’re paying me. But there are others who owe me money,one person owes me $4000, and I’ve said nothing to them. But maybe I should.i don’t remind ppl that they owe me, I’ve not gotten any payments,I just let it eat at me. Even my gbff I told Him how I felt too. He was shocked, said it’s like a new me.
I can see how this gift could get me into trouble too. But I can feel how freeing it is as well!
Who’s next? Just step right up so I can tell you what I think of you, your life, your choices, how I always listen to your shit. But do you do that for me…