Thinking about life, about me.

It hit me recently, I should be asking myself the hard questions. We aren’t getting any younger, no one gets out of here alive. 

With that statement being said, it hits me that everyone on the face of the earth gets one shot at life, so how are you spending it? Well, hopefully you’re happy. I thought about each and every area of my life and I realize some areas I’m happy, some not so much. I figure I should be coming up with a plan to change some things , so I can try to be happy in more areas of my life. Hoping for all areas, I’d rather not live with regret. 

Also, there is a list of things I’d like to do, try. With my list of friends that got shorter and shorter, to non-existent. I looked at myself carefully, realized I may need to figure how to knock out my list alone, or start finding some new friends. Where does one go to find new friends… Question of the day. So, alone it is. It’s a good thing I like myself, don’t mind being alone. With my male bff going out of state for his job soon, that’s gonna be tough. No girlfriends to hang out with, get into trouble with.  I’m slowly becoming very boring. I love my Daddy, but He’s most definitely not one of my girlfriend’s, plus He has His own set of friends when we aren’t together. And I’m definitely not going to ask Him to change His life so I’m not alone so much. I don’t depend on Him for MY happiness. 

I know me, doing everything alone right now, is making me a little less happy. This is when the past dictates my path, I like to curl up at the bottom of a bottle or two. When my mouth waters from the sheer thought of drinking, bad things are ahead. The craving has started…

I’m a Libra, we need balance, we love being around people, but then we also need our time alone. To much time alone, we will push everyone away, even those we love most. Libras can be compared to cats, literally! We like love and attention, but afterwards I’m gonna need to find a place to curl up and relax from everyone/ everything. I need alittle food, some hot sex with Daddy. And start process all over again!

Funny thing, I just don’t choose to tell anyone how much I’m suffering from this. How I wish I could change it, but don’t know how this moment. I keep hearing these questions go thru my mind: am I really that unlovable? Do I really want to drink again? When I get bored , yes. This girl needs some fun, craves it with others. 

My new plan, wait til kids are busy and go on my way and have fun, do the things on my list, just by myself. I like me! I plan on having lots of fun, who knows, maybe I’ll make some friends…

This babygirl is a little down at the moment. I haven’t felt like talking, or sharing. But I did wonder how many others go thru this? Or am I really alone?
My list:

Road trip to Vegas

Road trip to Cali

Museums!

See some dinosaurs, not alive ones,lol

Indoor skydiving

This new fun thing- escape rooms

Laser tag

Bowling

Back into photography

Editing my photography

Read some books

Cook more

Bake again

Shooting

Movies

Zoo

There’s more, my list grows each time I get excited about something, since I’m a babygirl, that happens about every 2.2 seconds!

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6 thoughts on “Thinking about life, about me.

  1. exoticnita54 says:

    Go for it..
    start on your list of things.. all the easy ones first….

    I don’t make Lists and resolutions..
    it creates much too much of a anxiety when I can’t get it done
    In the time frame I set..

    But that’s just me

  2. I wish I had some cool advice or something like that, but I don’t. But i’ve been in that spot where you feel alone and down, but don’t know how to get out of it. That’s why friends (in person or online) are so important. They help you when you have trouble standing.

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