Doesn’t get more real than this

Yesterday was quite a day. My Daddy had His daughter and brought her over to my home. What a wonderful surprise! My only problem was I got a big half hour with her. I asked my daughter to take pics, videos so I could see her! Daddy had stuff to do so the teen one got to watch, she was so happy!

On the drive home at the end of my day I started feeling sad , I only got a half hour with her. I figured it would be fine, maybe Daddy would give me more time with her soon. I walked thru the door and I see my son, two teen girls! And coming around the corner was the cutest lil blonde toddler, omg! She is waving at me, smiling, telling me ‘Hi’. I smiled at her, said Hi! I ask if I could have a hug and she let’s me! A big hug! My kids surrounding me wanting to tell me about their day, and yet all I could do was look at that cute little face that I was holding.i know my kids love to share with me, but I just needed a moment.

Everybody wanting me to make dinner, one kid had to get to work and I get to be his Taxi. My oldest son and my BFF Justin both noticed the smile that I had on my face. They both knew that I loved every moment of that hug! As they put her back down cuz I have to leave to take my son to work, both of my boys and my BFF decide to go with me. They’re discussing exactly what they think I’m feeling. At one point someone hit right on the emotion I was feeling and one tear fell. They knew I always wanted more kids, I never got that. Plus I wasn’t about to redo what I done and pick another guy who hated kids, already picked two of them.

As I get back from taking my son to work now it’s time to make dinner. And there’s a tiny one trying to come into the kitchen to help me that’s a great idea but no. There were too many ways for her to get hurt and I was overprotective with her like it was my own kids when they were little. Once dinner was ready I got everybody to the table, tiny tot ate her chicken and rice but she did not like the broccoli! I let her know once everybody was done eating we get the dishes into the kitchen and she and I could play and she just smiled at me! 

Later on in the evening, the kids wanted dessert. The teen girls ate ice cream, but I know how my master is about his child having sweets so we found something better, strawberries!! She downed those really fast!! We played ,we colored ,we watch TV. Once it was bedtime, I changed her, I got her all cuddled up in her blanket , and just watched her. She was watching​ a movie and rubbing her eyes, telling me ‘no’ that she wasn’t tired, within a few mins she was out. An hour later she woke up, started crying and very much wanting her Daddy. I let her know I wanted Him too. I asked if I could hold her, she crawled into my lap and I just cuddled her and talked lightly to her. Like I used to do with my kids. 

The whole night brought memories of being with my kids when they were little. I have always loved my job of being a mom. It was the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done. Plus I have always wanted more kids, I get there won’t be anymore, hard thought to make peace with.

I waited for Daddy to give me a call cuz I had to go pick up my son from work, and take her back to Daddy. The whole night was the happiest I’ve been in a long time I had so much fun! I let Daddy know earlier but it felt very real, felt like a family. I hadn’t done the family thing with my kids and almost eight years. So it hit me really hard today.

Before my BFF went home he let me know that he could tell I was struggling with that,that I’m about to get everything I’ve ever wanted, I agreed. I told him I said it’s been almost 2 years. He said ,no not for you, it’s been even longer neither of your ex’s could ever give you what you wanted, but you’ve got one helluva man now that wants to give you everything your heart desires. All day long I’ve been next to tears just from him saying that.its true.

Once I dropped tiny tot to Daddy he let me know that he had a plan so that we all bonded!And  Bond I did! Sneaky Daddy!

It honestly doesn’t get more real than that! I love my life. TY Daddy
Still trying to process all


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