From the moment we met, we had this amazing connection, an unspeakable bond. This was something new, unlike anyone before we were together. It was hard to put into words, yet it was almost like we needed each other to be able to breathe.
From the start we seemed oddly familiar together, yet at the same learning about one another. Isn’t that what they refer to as your ‘ soulmate’. Who found who? Was the search over? I heard this old Chinese proverb about finding your soulmate, how you spend your life looking for that one person. But when it’s the right person, you’re soul seems settled. I could identify with that.
This magnetic pull that doesn’t let up. Drawn to one another in person, in text, even on the phone. When together the mind races over all the hot and steamy ideas of what could happen, what we want to happen. We wonder how long this could last. Isn’t it just infatuation… But the more time passes, the feeling gets stronger for us both. The thought being either this is the person I exactly need in my life, or you’re the one my mother warned me about.
Sex drive, passion, impure thoughts… But even in normal moments it’s still there, moments of no sex, just being together. Could we do it? We have, Many times! We needed to know it wasn’t lust. But a real love we felt for each other.
There’s no way to pinpoint where it started, it’s like it was just there. I think for both of us it was hard to accept, because it just felt so easy, to easy. I knew it was never like that before, not with anyone.
As we are getting closer to the two year mark, I’m just so excited. To care about someone so much, day after day, my mind asks, ” will that ever stop, hope not”.
I asked my kids, “did you ever think I’d find exactly who I wanted in this life?” They knew I was planning my life alone, I was settled with that thought. I really never saw him coming, blindsided. Now that He’s such a big part of my life, He’s ruined me for all other men. There is no one like Him, and never will be again. He’s that ‘once in a lifetime’ kind of person.
He’s changed my life, in so many ways. I finally trust a man again. I love again. I can be me around Him. He is the first Dom to ever, I mean ever, ask for my opinions on things in our lives. He worries about me, encourages me, gets mad at me but doesn’t stop loving me or pushes me away. He talks with me, not to me except when it’s something important going on ( with His business or His club there’s a certain way I need to be to please Him) which I completely understand. I do listen, I never embarrass Him. I know when I can stay near Him, when to walk away but stay in sight. I have passed each and every test He’s thrown at me! I had no idea testing was going on, but He said He’s been pleased that I’ve passed all! No woman had passed certain tests before. I must say I’ve never even been tempted to do things behind His back, to snoop or hurt the trust He’s placed in me. Granted I don’t test Him, I just trust He won’t harm me in any way shape or form. He saw the damage path before Him when we started, so I think He gets that the hurt was there, but I love this man so much that if He did hurt/betray me it would kill me. If He decided to go I’d not ever be whole again. There’s no way to go back to being just me, not now that I’ve had my soulmate in my life. I would just exist.
What I want is for us to be together for as long as we get on this Earth. I’m hoping for 50 years or more! But He’s really the last man who will ever be in my life. There is none after Him should He just go or die. I could never make more room in my heart, He took the whole thing! Only room enough for Him and the kids! But who’s complaining, not me.
There’s so much I could tell about Him: how He saves things from our dates so He remembers. He will just surprise me! He makes me feel special. He even cares about my kids, and has a unique relationship with each one. Yes touched all our lives, we won’t ever be able to look over our lives and deny His handiwork in each of us, we’d be lying.
My kids are all sure that this is the man for me, not that I needed their approval, but it’s nice to see that they care about Him, like He cares about all of us.
He keeps saying, when we live together… When you move in… So, I think it’s safe to say there are future plans! I’m so happy there is, I’m nervous too. I haven’t lived with anyone since divorce,kids don’t count, neither do roommates. I have this feeling that He’s ready for the next step, and getting me ready to, that’s what He does with me, He has every step of the way.
Where do I see myself in 2 years, 5 years? By His side, happy, living life together! Life is good!