We had the hardest two months, I’ve had to cater to everyone else but Him. I’ve not been given that time to make sure my Masters needs have all been properly taken care of, my heart’s desire.
Time apart is really weighing on me, I feel a disconnect in the distance. I’ve been as patient as can be. I try to hold it all in, but it’s eating me alive.
What I desire, me in slave position before Him, Him doing that deep breath of approval ,His hand on my head which tells me He’s happy with His slave.
I do get to serve Him. Breakfast nearly every morning, it pleases me to do so. But I miss so much being before Him. It’s something He and I share on the deepest level. It only has meaning to us. I tear up as it has been non existent since everyone else became important. He let the balance be this so I could help one of the children til His life was back on track. It’s coming along, but not fast enough for me.
I long to be at His feet, my place of honor as I’m His. Eyes closed, I breathe in the sweet air around us, bask in the love He emits from Him to me, and back again. He will say in a whisper, ” what a beautiful sight it is to behold”.
I need it, with everything in me, I need that. The more disconnect I feel, the more I am sad. How does a slave balance putting all first? She doesn’t, not without her Master showing her the balance. I need Him, now. I long for Him, He’s not there. My soul calls to Him, I need Him to hear it and come to me
I’m no good on my own, for what is a slave without a Master? Nothing. What is a Master without a slave? Empty. They must move together, breathe together, balance each other. Her put Him back in His spot as her object of all delight, so she may serve from her heart. He must accept all the love and care she’s giving, and put her back as His object of desire.
Out of balance will not be good for long, only the Master may lead them both back together. He knows the way, He created it. This is His world they exist in, she is His loyal subject, His queen, His goddess, His desire. He is her everything as well. What a most beautiful thing as they feel this for each other…
Where is my Master, as my soul calls to Him. Fill me with the love I desire. Heal my soul. Let me serve. I need no words, I just need your heart near mine, my love. To be in your presence. I crave this.