Happy 4th of July

Our family hopes you have a wonderful day to today celebrating Americas freedom.

Our family is having a rough time. Once she was gone, we were broken. Coming to terms with she won’t be back, has been a thought that doesn’t want to process.

We are trying to get back to normal, only for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell that was. What was I doing before all of this? Was I thankful everyday that I had such a great life? I find myself waking each morning I’m already in tears. If I close my eyes I see her, so why close my eyes…

I’m having a hard time eating. I go to the fridge and look around, my thoughts are “what do I want?” I know what I want, to hear the pitter-patter of little feet. She’s not in the fridge, so I close the door. I realize I’m not eating much. Food lost it’s flavor. Except BBQ.

My house is staying clean. I actually hate it now. I used to gripe each day. Toys everywhere, piles of stuff, looked like the Tasmanian devil went thru our home. If I could just have that one more day, I promise I won’t be irritated by it anymore, ever again. 

All the challenges of toddlerhood, learning to potty, the accidents, baths cuz that baby is a mess, will you please just eat, no you’re not getting candy, taking my iced tea, bedtime! You’re exhausted at the end of the day, but you smile cuz Mini me is so much fun. Damn that energy is definitely wasted on the youth!

No more seeing her dad be the human jungle gym. No more her sit by dad, put her legs up for him, say”get’em”wanting him to grab her legs, and pick her up and toss her around. When she’s sick or can’t sleep wants to snuggle up to her dad, cause she’s a total Daddy’s girl!

No more build a bear, celebrating holidays, birthdays with her. How do we get thru them? 

What’s the timeframe for moving on…I don’t want her forget her, but I’d the pain in my heart to calm down. 

I went to the store the other day, Everytime I heard a little girl laugh or cry, I had to look. What if it was her? What if this never really happened, we wake up it just felt real. 

What happens when this happens and you don’t get to say goodbye? Does she know how much we love and miss her? Does she feel gone, wonder where we are? It feels so final, it’s just over. Why couldn’t I be warned that it was coming and I needed to hold her, kiss her, cuddle her one more time. Do I have enough pictures in my phone of her.

I feel now all things we will miss. First day of school. Missing teeth. Babydolls and Barbie’s. Learning to ride a bike. Makeup. Girls night with both my daughters. Sleepovers with friends. Driving. College. Day she gets married. It’s just all gone. What would she look like? Would she still be a Daddy’s girl? 

I know I’m rambling here, but I don’t know how to say these things. We have other kids to get thru this time. Wow is this tough. People keep asking me how I’m doing, I’m numb. I fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion. I just want to stay in bed. I have to work, the bills didn’t stop. 

I miss her ❤️

Doin it old school ( not my work, just sharing)

​Old Time Protocol

Author: Dennis Najee 
Things certainly changed over the years. The BDSM community once was an underground network of people who lived in secrecy. There was a time when the only “advertisement” this lifestyle received was an announcement of a munch in the local rag. People did not openly discuss power exchange relationships. The D/s and, certainly M/s, relationships were foreign to 99.9% of the population. Of course, the Internet changed this a great deal.
Protocol
There was a time when protocol amongst the members of the lifestyle meant something. Newer people were introduced to this way of life with a respect that was taught to them by others. People were human and interaction was friendly but that was not a sign of lackluster attitudes. Dominants were shown the proper respect by their position since it was known that all who were there (for the most part) earned it.
At the same time, people were also respective of the submissive types. Trolling was unheard of since everyone was expected to adhere to the policy of “not infringing on another person’s turf”. This was a commonsense practice that worked ideally for many years.
Again, we saw the Internet change this scenario. To start, many of the Dominants online are not worthy of any respect. They are pretenders to the nth degree. Their desire is to use and abuse in a way that is harmful. The part of the life where a submissive is taught to grow and expand is overlooked by these individuals. Instead, they are only interested in cheap sex or someone to pay their way. BDSM is a sex and money pit and that is it.
The respect that came with the old time protocol also disappeared. I will admit that I am guilty of slagging some people off online. However, I do this with reasonable assurance that they were not what they proclaimed to be. One only needs to spend a few months on a BDSM site to learn some of the tricks people use. Once you have them down, you notice them repeated over and over. Nevertheless, in general people do not show others in the life the same respect that once existed.
Society At Large
Many of the factors that I am mentioning are also prevalent among society at large. Respect is something that is disappearing with each new generation. Watch how people behave in your local supermarket. There was a time when people were considerate of others around them. People would often let someone with only a few items cut ahead of them to save that person time. No more. Now, you stand behind the person with two full baskets even if you only have 6 items. Common consideration is dead.
At the same time, people are losing interpersonal skills. Again, in the “olden ” days, people had to talk to each other. Other than the telephone, communication was face-to-face. Meeting of people actually involved being in the same zip code as them. Munches were the primary vehicle where people within this lifestyle met each other. If you were new to a community, you tried to find a local munch to attend.
Again, we point to the Interact to notice a change. Today we “meet” people from all over the world without leaving our seat. Our interactions are virtual now. We get emotionally attached to characters on a screen. The connection carries a lot less meaning to many people.
At the same time, the idea of being respectful to others online is all but dead. The BDSM sites are full of people who would never dream of showing up at a munch. They utilize the anonymity of the Internet to involve themselves in a place where they otherwise would be too fearful. In addition, these same people also exhibit a great deal of cybercourage. There Internet muscles are strong. However, put these people in front of a real Dom and many of them would cower like little girls. They are disrespectful because it is so easy to do it.
In the end, our culture is changing. Is it good or bad? Who knows. The bottom line is that it is and we need to get use to it. There is no point in being a sourpuss while reflecting upon the good ole days. The world changes and BDSM is not exempt from that practice. Learning new skills are important to advance as society does. While there are drawbacks, technology and new eras open up a lot of opportunities. Be mindful of this the next time you want to put your fist through your computer screen at some troller. They make the real people stand out that much more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love this writing, again it’s not mine. I’m sharing it for good reason. I don’t like the changes I’ve seen in our community, whether online or not. The respect is gone. Most doms are playing games to just get laid, not to have a real connection.  When I started training subs and slaves years ago it was worth it, but last few years not so. I had to teach them real from fake, give them things that they could identify so they weren’t harmed. Some listened, some didn’t. Never blame me for your own mistakes, I warned your stupid ass. I told you this lifestyle wasn’t about some stupid book, it was deeper. If you are that dumb to not even have common sense then don’t be here, but don’t blame us either. Those of us who are real, tried to show you the way. Plus I’ve never seen so many titles just thrown around without being earned. Disgraceful.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

Daddy had a long drive ahead of Him, He asked me to come along. Yes! How exciting to have Daddy all to myself. 

My Daddy and I are fun, wild, but he’s way more adventurous then me. Me? Well I’m a Libra so I need planned spontaneity! But we always have a good time together. With us it’s never a dull moment! But I also like that we can be silent and just in the moment. I love that! So many ppl fill the silence with chatter. For me, I know if I’m comfortable with you I can just be me , and at times I won’t talk, I’m just enjoying the moment of that person’s company. Daddy will ask me what’s on my mind? I honestly answered, ” I’m hungry Daddy ”  He just smiles.  Did He think I was deep in thought , running world problems thru my mind?  Nope, I’m simpler than that.  

When Daddy and I did talk, wow! We talked of love, of life, and politics, and 1 person I have some anger for. He listened to me, i listened to him. I find my Daddy to be a most intelligent man. Well thought out opinions, doesn’t just follow the masses. When He believes in someone or something He can talk quite passionately about that subject, I love that. Im that way too. 

It was so much fun to be with Him. I really enjoyed this time together.  I do love it when He just breaks out in song! Lol . He is the most unique man, one of a kind! Sing ‘our’ song Daddy♡. And when He told me I’m beautiful. I could feel He meant it, I actually felt beautiful. I know He says it all the time, but this was just the way He said it!He let me know this: I really thought when we were playing and He had His phone that He must be watching porn or texting friends, I never thought in a million years that He was making a video of me. 

I did find it interesting when we were talking about threesomes,  we were honest in what we want. I really want Him in charge over me. I want Him to take care of me in this setting so it’s enjoyable, I’ll follow His lead. Be transparent so i can always feel safe.We were able to be so open about it. I think He doesn’t know what to say sometimes since most females in His past were way to possessive,  how it appears to me. I’m not the jealous type, or I wasn’t, til Him. That was an emotion I had not experienced before, not even when married,lol. But I find He’s not wanting me to be jealous, He’s really showing me it’s all about ‘us’! 

Even with Daddy wanting poly type thing when we are together,  I’m not bothered by that. He says ill get transparency on this too! I really feel that He will find the balance, I don’t feel Daddy wants a me to leave, not at all, or be jealous. It will be a delicate balance so I know as my King has His time with others, I’m still right by His side as His queen! Where He put me in a place of honor.

I am looking forward to starting a life together under the same roof. But I also enjoy what we’ve started together. I look at Him and I can feel the love coming from Him. No other woman holds the key to His heart, it’s all mine. He took the time to build this trust within me. He doesn’t want to break me, but enhance our lives together. I know He loves that we both have other interests besides just each other. And I fully agree, most couples make that other person their whole life, and they get bored. For Daddy and I, we will do it different. We didn’t it wrong the first time with our exes. I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder, plus everyone just needs time to be themselves. But I’m looking so forward to forever with this man.

That smile,  those blue eyes, the way He seems to look thru my soul. He just gets me!
Love you Daddy♡

-His Kitten 

‘M’ is for mom, not maid.

I am at that point, when I have those days that I would sell one kid and throw in the other 2 for free! It’s a 3pc set, can’t be broken up. And when life has given me a hard time, like it has for weeks now, back off .  I’m a strong woman, but I really start to want to give up, or runaway from home. I know that’s usually when I dig a little deeper into myself, see if I have more reserves to give of myself. Truth be told, I’m tired of saving everyone. If I am always their safety net, will they ever be mine? Will they learn to take care of themselves?  I realize the ones under 18 have to be taken care of, but here’s a list of chores kid. 

My Daddy went slow with this subject. If I remember correctly I bit His head off a few times, sorry Daddy.  I had never had a two sided relationship before. It was always all up to me. Daddy figured out a way to approach this that I would just hear Him. How’s that working for me?  I’m drowning a bit. I’m tired, I’m cranky, I don’t care what they want. But Daddy threw me a life preserver,  He started talking with me, not to me, huge difference.  He would make small suggestions.  Once He would leave, I let it settle in me, chew on it for a bit. He made sense. It was to help me, it was to help them. 

I am at the point of refusing to clean, cuz they won’t. I don’t want to cook ,cuz they won’t clean up afterward. Do the damn laundry, all of it, not just the part you have an emotional attachment to. You don’t want to touch your brothers underwear? I get that,  use tongs, chopsticks, I don’t care but stop excuses.  Do all the dishes not just the ones you used. I have been doing the dishes for years and you all saw me Do Every Damn Dish. I expect the same. Clean the bathroom, it’s gross in there. Sweep floors, vacuum. Is anyone listening? I noticed Daddy tell the kids to do something, actually same thing I just said and these people are like, ” hmm you make an interesting point Pops, their name for Daddy, I can do that right away!” 

What the fuck just happened here? I say this stuff til I’m blue in the face, nothing changes. But Daddy says it they scatter and go do it. Huh??? He even reminds them that when we all live together it will be His way then too. I stand there, I’m waiting for the argument… come on teen being told what to do, hello … she’s fine. It makes me want to smack her. The boys ,the same way. This Daddy of mine either has some secret power I know nothing of, ‘stepford children?’ Or a dominant is just that in control over everyone? I don’t know. I’m usually ready to wring their necks, but Daddy just calmly says something and it works. It reminds me of Star Wars, the weak minded can be controlled. ” these are not the kids we are looking for, move along”.

I would call them  all ungrateful, except every once in a while I get hugs, and kisses, art pics,  someone will do something without being told. A kind gesture.  This stuff is always appreciated,  it does renew my strength. 

But the thought in my head is still the same. I work my ass off all day, I don’t like the thought of coming thru the door nothing done, or a basket of ‘clean’ unfolded clothes.  And for the love of God dont ask, ” what’s for dinner?” Reservations?? Daddy doesn’t think so. But I’m tired, I need a few mins to just sit still, then I can get started. Some of you are older so learn to cook, and they are!

Single or not, men work hard. When they have a family they are like superman. It doesn’t matter what the weather is like, they go to work. My Daddy is one of these types of men. If He’s sick, He’s still at work. If He’s tired, He’s still at work. If it’s a 115 degrees outside, Yep He’s still at work. If it’s cold, He’s still at work. No matter what He gets out of bed each and every day to make that money. I think the family really forgets to appreciate the man in their life. But I’ve noticed, same goes for single moms. My philosophy is, ‘be more like men’. Ok I’m not gonna burp,fart, scratch my balls, but you get the point. 
Life wasn’t ever guaranteed to be easy, but you make it that way by your attitude. For you moms who stay home all day, ” let’s gripe about our day” how tough it was, shut the fuck up, count yourself blessed that you stay home all day and get to spend money on shopping that you did not earn. Men are just themselves. Hard working, well most of them, they don’t  want much, just to be happy,  loved, appreciated, and maybe have an outlet. Something where he’s not a father, husband,boyfriend, worker, son. It’s all him. Single moms, you need this too! Don’t just cook and clean, actually find something you like to do.

Being a single mom isn’t easy. I don’t try to feel sorry for myself, suck it up. Daddy never feels sorry for himself. I try to not stress over all the things to get done, but I do. I try to shorten the list, and it grows. I don’t know how men do it. Most men have my respect. This shit ain’t easy, they make it look easy. How? Notice these real men should teach a class to us single moms, but they don’t. 

I’m thankful I have my Daddy. I’m not alone anymore. I’m glad He wants this job. When we met I know I said I wanted long term, He did to. I guess I didn’t know exactly what I was saying, but I’m so happy I understand its implications now. I really needed someone who could control the brat in me, my wild side, get me under control and keep me there, let me serve.  But this whole other side I never noticed was there the whole time. We all needed direction. Daddy knows best, He got me to put my child in the right school for her. My son is going to get more out of life. My oldest, well we fought like cats and dogs, I didn’t trust him. I was rather angry with him for just leaving my life for a year over a cunt in his life. I have helped him over and over again , only to be treated like I didn’t matter unless he needed money. Well fuck you. Daddy even put that relationship back together. Thank you Daddy. I love that Daddy put himself in the middle of this one! It’s going good for the first time in a long time. 
I love this man I call Daddy,  I plan on a very long life together.  I like that He shows me new ways to get things done. I’m most grateful each day that He’s in my life. There’s a reason I tell Him I love  Him more, it has to do with all this. He just casually started picking up my pieces, putting them together again. Never let me go. In a way I’m glad that things fell apart for me, it showed me to keep my eyes on Him. The past was me getting lost in a bottle. I haven’t been allowed to do that. I’m facing all this hard stuff and for the first time I’m not alone. What an amazing thing to feel! 
Hey, wasn’t this post supposed to be about me? How did He do That? 

Sir & kitten, a meeting of the minds (original story)

Sir, had a bad week and kitten didn’t make it any better. Out of everything Sir had to deal with kitten meant the most to Him. But to let her keep her attitude was not on His agenda. Sir had a very cunning plan. And kitten was the target.

Kitten came in from work, headed for the shower. As she was undressing to take a hot steamy shower, she was greeted by Sir.

”Hello kitten, we need to talk NOW”, said Sir.
“Yes Sir, right after my shower”, kitten purred.

Sir smiled at her, a most evil grin. He shut the shower off, grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her into the bedroom. She started to feel very sexual, thinking some fun was coming her way. Sir, put her hands behind her back and locked them there. He was pulling off some tape to put over her mouth.

“Sir, if you put tape over my mouth, I can’t talk or use my safeword” she said.
“That’s the idea kitten, tonight you listen” Sir said with a growl.

Kitten swallowed hard. She knew He has been mad, but she’d never seen Him like this before. She struggled a few moments to see if she was able to get free. No way. Sir, saw the struggle, and smiled at her another evil smile. Kitten thought they were going to have sex, her favorite thing to do with Sir.

“There will be no sex tonight kitten, not unless I change my mind” he said

She looked at him with fear now. When Sir is mad he’s still sweet, but when he’s angry He’s mean, unpredictable. More demanding, not reasonable at all. She considered herself a strong sub. A real force to be reckoned with. Only Sir has plans for het tonight, and it will be his way, or no way.

“Where are your rules kitten?” He said in a questioning tone.

She motioned towards a shelf with her head. He walked over to pick it up. He started reading them aloud. Kitten knew she had made him mad recently, but was unaware of how mad he was.

“Have you ever broken any of these rules kitten ?” He asked
Kitten shook her head yes. She tried to talk thru the tape. He removed the tape, put his hand over her mouth. He looked her right in the eyes and said,
” Don’t make a sound, not one word. If you do you will find out what’s coming”
She shook her head yes in agreement. The look on his face told her that he meant every word.

“Shall we start kitten? You will listen, you will do as I say. You will remember your place from now on, you will not question me. But you will be able to ask questions, or for something you need when and only when you approach me the right way verbally. Do you understand ?”

She shook her head yes again.

“As of late, when I speak you don’t respond correctly. It’s not ‘Yes Sir’, it’s asking questions,  or adding in comments, or even rolling your eyes in another direction thinking I can’t see it. You signed up for being my sub, did you not?”
She shook her head yes again, but this time she opened her mouth to explain.
He picked her up, turned her around, took off his belt and within seconds it was across her bottom. She yelled out in pain.

” I warned you didn’t I kitten?” He asked her
She just shook her head yes, said not a word.
“When we got together we signed up for a certain kind of life. We are not vanilla even though we are in a vanilla world. You were the one who felt you were a sub and so you are treated as such. I am the Dom and yet you answer back, continue to be bratty, question my authority, speak out of line. I have had enough. You are the sub, I’m the one in charge. I do care about you, I want you to be happy, I want to know how you feel, I want us to communicate, I want you to feel loved, to never question how important you are to me. You are mine. I want you to be mine always but if this doesn’t change you are free to go. Do you get my point kitten?”

With tears in her eyes, she shook her head yes. She wanted to explain and thought maybe he would allow her to, but all he did was pick her up again, turn her around, and put his belt back over her ass, only this time the hitachi on her clit. “That better stay on your clit kitten” and she moaned and screamed out in pain. He knew she hated the hitachi so while they talked he made her body go crazy, with no chance of her cumming.  It was nearly to much for her to take.

“I love you kitten, but only one of us is in charge. This is how our life will work from now on. Do you want this with everything in you ?”

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she shook her head yes.

“Then we will write some new rules, keep some of the old ones. It is time for a change.  I want to be proud of you all the time. You are my world kitten. I will expect you have some opinions on what you want changed. I want to hear you, I promise to listen, but I have final say on everything. Just remember you didn’t like the punishment now, you won’t like what’s coming my sweet kitten. If I think you are fighting me then we will see if we belong together at all. But from now on this is how it is. You belong to me. You may still have your friends, your job, your shopping as I say, but I am to be your first thought in all of it. As long as I feel we are both happy,  we can proceed to make this more permanent in the future, as that is what I want kitten. Is that what you want?” ” I don’t expect perfection, you are only human, but when I know you are truly sorry for what you have done then I’ll be fine. I know change can take time, but as long as you work hard to show me change, you will always be forgiven”.

She shook her head yes, she was fully listening to him now.

” I see you are finally hearing me. Not giving your opinion, no comments. Now that you understand me better I wish to hear you speak. I will ask you questions and you will answer from your heart. And I make the final decision, are you ready?”

“Yes Sir” she said with a slight grin. She knew even though he was mad, he was fair, and he loved her beyond words.

Sir untied his kitten, picked her up, laid her on the bed and sat next to her. He comforted her and he asked many questions,  and she answered and obeyed completely.  The love between them was as strong as it ever was. For they both knew that what they had with each other was rare and to be protected.  It was that forever kind of love.

Once they talked and Sir held her a while. They spent some intimate time together. Kitten finally got to cum!

” oh, thank you Sir”

They both smiled and held each other. She knew He could handle her, and wasn’t wanting to go. She could finally release that part of her that she always held back from him.