How did He know…

One thing I’m not is a great communicator. I can write, text, but talk… Not really. I’m just not a big talker. 

Even though I’m like this, He makes me talk. It’s been a long road together, He says “what’s wrong?”, ” What’s on your mind?” Sometimes, honestly I’m not ready to talk, or I’m trying to figure out on my own thoughts ,if this is a big deal or not, what made me change? However, if He’s nearby He notices right away and wants me back to my happy self. I’m usually thinking, ‘ please give me a minute’. With Him, there are no minutes, it’s now. Wow, that’s hard. I have to quickly figure out what changed, why it changed. Some things in my head make no sense to me, so why share them. But I had no idea He was at work! Within me! He knows the abuse I suffered with my ex, thru my childhood. I didn’t even know He was paying attention. He’s been helping me this whole time. Wow. I respect Him so much for that, which adds to the love I feel for Him.

I can’t see the bigger picture here. I never do. Where I think I’m doing fine, He is trying to do His job as my Master. To be perfectly honest, no one before Him ever gave a shit that I was so quiet. In fact, I was judging my exes and past Dom’s for that, now that I think about it. It’s really the reason I knew it was never going to work with any of them. They only wanted sex, not the real me. How can you base any relationship on just sex, not even great sex. Well it wasn’t for me. Daddy will tell me it’s ok if I cared for them, or loved them ,it’s in the past. But to me those feelings weren’t there. I didn’t respect them, they didn’t respect me. I didn’t love them, none treated me with love. They cheated on me, I was crushed one more time and thinking there was something wrong with me. So, how could I ever love any of them. Love is something that I’ve been searching for , and didn’t seem to find. I didn’t tell these men that I loved them, it would have been a lie. I slightly cared about a few, but I knew in my heart it was nothing that was going to last forever. How did I know? I didn’t think about them all day, I didn’t miss them, barely texted, never called them. I didn’t even take any pics with them.  All of these things were different with Daddy! I know myself, I’m real with myself. I hope Daddy understands this better. 

I love sex, but if you can really reach me on a personal level, most haven’t, then what’s the point of having them in my life. I never understood how any of them thought I was enjoying the relationship. They knew nothing about me, nor cared to learn. What’s my favorite color, car, movie,etc… Daddy knows these answers! 

Right off the bat, my Daddy was different. He’s fun, adventurous, and expected me to talk. Now I was alert, omg, I have to talk finally. This has been so different, scary even. What if He doesn’t like what I have to say, or how I think. This kind of connection with Him made things very different between us from the start, and the sex has been mind blowing for me. I even have my orgasms back! I am multi orgasmic, always have been. But once I was married it disappeared in the first few months. Neither separation, nor divorce, or dating brought it back. But this one morning with Daddy OMG! It just happened! He stopped what He was doing, looked at me and said, ” Are you ok? What was that?” I politely smiled at Him, let Him know I was fine and that I’m multi orgasmic and hadn’t done that in a very loooooong time. It was true! I didn’t think I could do that anymore. I remember after Daddy left that morning, thinking to myself, ” I’m back, I’m me again!” I was hooked. I had no idea how this man brought that out in me again, but something was different and I was on a quest to figure it out. 

2 years later, I still can’t tell you why or how my body responds to Him, it just does! And damn it feels good! He loves it! I’m truly with the right person. I get to be with Him forever, I think my body enjoys that as well. Life is Good! And this is exactly how I judge men from my past. 

A hard working man

Ok ladies, this one is aimed at you. Not to put you down, but I’ve been on both sides of this fence so I can have my say. 

When was the last time you really appreciated your man? He works damn hard, if you’re lucky enough to stay home with the kids, he’s working hard for that and don’t you dare take it lightly, or bitch at him when he comes through the door looking like the world is on his shoulders. Bring him a drink, rub his shoulders. Yeah, the ones who did that back breaking work all day. His boss yelling in his ear. Co-workers acting like they have problems, traffic. 

Do you have any idea that your man pushed his body so hard that day, doing things most men do so they can pay a bill, keep their home, pay for stuff for you and the kids. Where did you think that money came from? 

I know what it’s like to be home with the kids. Believe me I do! My home was spotless, meal ready when he walked through the door. I made sure kids disappeared for an hour. He worked in the heat. I paid attention, but it was most definitely the WRONG guy.

The man I have in my life now, well he’s wonderful! He’s appreciative of any I do. But I support this man as much as he will let me. Why? Because a good man deserves that and so much more. He deserves a drink when he gets home. Let him sit down and relax. Make him food or go get it, body massage, blow job. The list could go on and on, but show him that you get it. That you appreciate all effort he puts forth in your life. Truth be told he’s the bread winner. Plus if you had to change places with him for even a day you’d probably run screaming into a corner curled up in a fetal position, cuz men make it look easy. They battle heat, extreme heat, rain, wind, snow, sleet, hail. And if you’re the kind of woman who is a piece of shit, he battles you as well. 

Before you throw those kids at him, act like his job doesn’t compare to yours. Have compassion on him, treat him with a little respect, maybe he will be romantic, or send you out of the house while he takes the kids and let’s you have a moment. Can’t hurt to try. Change is good. 

I can appreciate my man cuz I work out in the elements, I work hard, do a guys job, my body aches. But not close to his. I love my man! 

Thank you Daddy for all you for our family! 

Slave in waiting

We had the hardest two months, I’ve had to cater to everyone else but Him. I’ve not been given that time to make sure my Masters needs have all been properly taken care of, my heart’s desire. 

Time apart is really weighing on me, I feel a disconnect in the distance. I’ve been as patient as can be. I try to hold it all in, but it’s eating me alive. 

What I desire, me in slave position before Him, Him doing that deep breath of approval ,His hand on my head which tells me He’s happy with His slave. 

I do get to serve Him. Breakfast nearly every morning, it pleases me to do so. But I miss so much being before Him. It’s something He and I share on the deepest level. It only has meaning to us. I tear up as it has been non existent since everyone else became important. He let the balance be this so I could help one of the children til His life was back on track. It’s coming along, but not fast enough for me.

I long to be at His feet, my place of honor as I’m His. Eyes closed, I breathe in the sweet air around us, bask in the love He emits from Him to me, and back again. He will say in a whisper, ” what a beautiful sight it is to behold”. 

I need it, with everything in me, I need that. The more disconnect I feel, the more I am sad. How does a slave balance putting all first? She doesn’t, not without her Master showing her the balance. I need Him, now. I long for Him, He’s not there. My soul calls to Him, I need Him to hear it and come to me  

I’m no good on my own, for what is a slave without a Master? Nothing. What is a Master without a slave? Empty. They must move together, breathe together, balance each other. Her put Him back in His spot as her object of all delight, so she may serve from her heart. He must accept all the love and care she’s giving, and put her back as His object of desire. 

Out of balance will not be good for long, only the Master may lead them both back together. He knows the way, He created it. This is His world they exist in, she is His loyal subject, His queen, His goddess, His desire. He is her everything as well. What a most beautiful thing as they feel this for each other…

Where is my Master, as my soul calls to Him. Fill me with the love I desire. Heal my soul. Let me serve. I need no words, I just need your heart near mine, my love. To be in your presence. I crave this.

Together 2 years! And counting…

We are celebrating 2 wonderful, fun filled years together! I can honestly say, I don’t remember ever having this feeling last this long for anyone. In the past I wondered why, ppl would just tell me that we had gotten used to one another, that made no sense. Well, I’m used to my Daddy,but each day is exciting. We still have a kick ass sex life, love and respect for one another! This is definitely all new to me. I find my man interesting to talk to. I love learning new things, we still find more things we have in common. He makes me important, as a slave I’m so NOT used to that. I’m used to serving, never being heard, or treated with great importance. But He’s been different from the start.

This man in my life leaves me speechless. Makes me so happy. 

I told Him how much He’s changed my life, the lives of my children. All I can ever tell Him is how much we all need Him. It’s true, we do!

Where would I even begin to tell Him how much He means to me. There are no words in the English language that can express exactly how I feel. When you feel something for someone that you’ve never felt before, it’s hard to describe. I just know when I’m with Him, I feel loved​, protected, cared for, like He wants the best for me. If I have a problem yo He’ll solve it. ( Sry, vanilla ice ran thru my head!)

I know I repeat myself when I talk about Him. It’s really because I am still trying to process how I got so lucky. I’ve never had anyone in my life ,up to this point that made me feel so happy, usually by this point it was boring, but not Daddy. Plus we still have so much to do together, learn about each other, experience together. Sounds fun and exciting to me!

So, to be able to be with the man I love, have some dinner, enjoy each other’s company. That is my heaven. Sounds pretty perfect to me! 

Thank you Daddy that you want to be here after two years! That you must feel what I feel, how great is that! I’m so glad you’re in my life. Who could ask for anything more.

Evolution of a relationship

We met online, a dating site. It sounds so cliche, but that’s how it really happened.

We got to know each other first, before we started dating, but it didn’t take long to know we felt something different

This wild boy from Cali, and this sweet girl from Jersey just fit perfectly together!

Soon spending time together, learning about each other, likes/dislikes. Hoping we both felt this magic that happens between us!

From the start we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. In two years we’ve had one night of sex that didn’t wake the neighbors, sound like He was killing me! We have an incredible sex life, keeps getting better! So does all aspects of our relationship.

He’s my everything!

Even things I didn’t know I wanted, or craved. How could I not fall in love with this man.

Romantic times together

Watching TV together

On our phones together

Even when we have fights or disagreements, which I’m glad we do, we can tell how well we still love each other, and we don’t stay mad, don’t try to hurt each other. We say it, deal with it, move on. 

He is my King! How He’s changed my life, my children’s lives, He most definitely deserved an upgrade! He’s the most wonderful man in the world! I would shout that from any mountain top. 

Love it when we cook together! Damn, He can cook!! Is there anything He can’t do! Haven’t seen it yet, He’s my hero! He’s just there when you need Him, me/kids/family/friends/His club/strangers

One of His favorite toys! My ass!

We have this wonderful blended family coming together very nicely. There is one us that I hope gets to be a part of our lives in the future,(R). 

Thats us!! Five kids!! Daddy and me!! And a grandson!

One day soon put our stuff together!

Let’s!!!

Daddy, you are my life! You’re everything I want, could wish or hope for. Our life is crazy but I doubt we care, it’s our kind of perfect ❤️ love you Daddy!

Love, babygirl 

Love me, feed me, never leave me!

Hold onto me

Our story begins like any other, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, they talk, they text, send naked selfies,  they get it on! From the moment we met I knew something was different about this man. I just didn’t know exactly what, but trust me I was gonna find out! Two yrs later , I’m still surprised, of course happy.  He makes me feel special. My life will never be the same. He’s one of those ‘ once in a lifetime’ kind of men.

I can say, I’m still excited to be here in this relationship with Him. We have gotten much closer, we have formed bonds with all the kids. I’d say things came together very nicely. I get my romantic Daddy. The Master I serve. My badass biker. Could life be any better? 

I know I go slow. My friends, the ones who have remained in my life, have reminded me how slow I go! But then what was the rush. I want it to be right. We both still arrived at the point where we are now. I’m glad I took my time. The ‘what ifs’ aren’t so many. We have built that trust, and communication slowly. I am so happy about that. I needed to know that when life happens we won’t crumble like a piece of paper. That we work together. That He talks to me and listens. He waits for me to process, so I can find the words to express how I’m feeling. I notice at times it might not be a subject He wants to talk about, or He maybe temporarily pissed with me for how I said something, but He’s not pushed me away, not left me. He will talk, even about the tough stuff. He will be honest with me even if it’s hard for me to take. He used to want to sugar coat things, but I showed Him I don’t need that, I know He cares about me. 

We’ve been through plenty of tough things together, and have come out stronger, that to me is a true testament to how much we belong together. I’m glad we have had the time to get to know one another so well. If not, who knows how this would have gone. But He did the same for me. He had thanked me for that too, He was used to rushing into prior relationships​, only for them to end quickly. 

Two years! That’s a new one for me! He’s been reminding me that there are future plans. That definitely sounds like something I want. I like the idea of waking up to Him each morning. I like idea of being together under the same roof. I won’t lie, I’m rather happy and nervous at the same time about these future plans. Will we be able to live together? Or will our daily quirks be to much for either one of us to survive this relationship. Ok, I may be thinking to much about all things that could go wrong, but that’s what I’m like, that’s what I do. 

There is still one obstacle for us to get through. This one could push us together to be even stronger or really pull us apart. I’m prepared for either way it could go. My mind is set to ‘ I’m doing my best to stay here and be strong’. The other part of me sees the obstacle as something immovable, and I worry that all we’ve built will gone soon. This is starting to hurt more and more, when I think of everything we have gotten through together, that this one last thing could be our breaking point, for which we may be changed forever. Self preservation. I know what I want, but neither of us can foresee the outcome, so we are struggling against each other, while holding on tight. I want to scream to the universe, ‘ how dare you test the strength of our relationship,what we’ve built’. But then part of me is curious as to how this will go. As I look at Him, I see He’s trying His very best as well, there’s no one to blame. Hardest part for me is if this goes badly at this eleventh hour feeling, we’ve made plans. We’ve bonded with all the kids. We act like a family, which is everything we have both wanted. He knows me better than anyone. I can read Him like a book as well. I love taking care of Him. Will we still be standing here, hand in hand. Or will it be over… My heart aches, as I know the answer will come soon enough, I just want to know which way it will go.

So, goes without saying, our anniversary is sort of bittersweet. I’m so happy with how things are. But my mind reminds me this could be the last time for anything… 

Time will tell… 

In the meantime, we are still very much together. I’m so thankful that I’m here with Him. Our lives have gotten busier, crazier. But we have rolled with all these punches! There are moments when I need Him, a strong connection. He stops Everything, He’s right there. He’s right fucking there. Holding me, tickling me, talking to me, kissing me, making love to me. I don’t ever want to let go of Him. I can’t imagine my life without Him. I love those texts that tell me everything! It will come across my phone, ” why am I here in this meeting?” ” Missing you” ” I’m horny” ” I love you” ” I need a threesome”. I’m as close to Him as He is to me. It’s a beautiful place to be. He IS my best friend. Am I His to? Lol

When I say He’s my everything, I mean it. He just fits into my life so well, into every little nook and cranny in my soul. He and His love are coursing through my veins. Now maybe you can imagine my pain at the thought of this possibly ending soon, or even at all. 

I had a difficult time writing. I can hardly write at all. My thoughts are way to jumbled. My soul is not at rest. My heart is weeping as my emotions are so unsettled. My blood pressure is thru the roof. How does one prepare yourself for something you don’t want to happen. How will we survive, will we.

As I will be happy for these 2 years with my King, my Master, my Daddy, the love of my life, my best friend, my confidant, fuck He’s my everything. I need Him. I want Him. I love taking care of Him as He does me. Feeling His head on my chest at times, breathing life back into Him. Preparing Him to face the world again when it’s kicked His ass. He’s beautiful to me, because it’s His soul that I see. He’s given me every part of Himself, and i gave that to Him, as He gave to me. I’m trying to hold on, only my grip isn’t as tight anymore, I can tell. Life has a funny way of giving you everything you had ever wanted, needed, desired, only to feel that in one breathe it can be gone, as fast as the blink of an eye. 

Hold onto me my love, I’m alittle unsteady at the moment. I’d ask for help, but you can’t give it. I’m hoping its all a bad dream and I’ll wake soon. Nothing is wrong, nothing will change, nothing in our way. Could it be, that just once, maybe, I get everything I ever wanted and more…  Time will tell…