There are 5 main types of spankings. I’m glad there was questions, I will write extra blogs on your questions. I do realize some people are new. Always talk to your Master/Dom first, they will want to train you themselves, or clarify things. If you want outside help, in my opinion, it’s best to ask your dominant if He/She will allow that. I do get questioned a lot by dominants, they ask my background, with many years in the lifestyle I’m qualified to help subs/slaves with any advice, I don’t know everything , I will be honest about that, and give my honest opinions. No, I don’t train, one on one, anymore. But I do blog about many things in our lifestyle, so if you always welcome to scroll through my writings. I’m not an expert, just what we call a ‘seasoned’ sub/slave/babygirl. Yes, I have been all 3. I’m not dominant at all, well unless I gave birth to you. I’m not a switch, tried it, hated it. I need a dominant in my life, on every level. My Master definitely understands this, and gives me what I need. His guidance, His dominance in and through my life.
Let’s talk about spankings!!
Sexy spankings– A.K.A – funishments. These are fun and playful spankings. They get you hot and bothered. My Daddy is great at these. Even after He has entered me, He will still swat me on the ass, it gets my attention back on Him, gets me out of my head space.
Punishment spankings– just what it means. You either broke a rule, we’re a brat, was being disrespectful, you didn’t do as you were told. In my case, with my Master, if I don’t answer fast enough, or don’t answer Him at all. Sometimes I’m in a different headspace, and the answer hasn’t come out of my mouth quite fast enough for Him. Sometimes I am a SAM (smart ass
Masochist) and I just refuse to answer. I can think the question is unfair, like no matter how I answer He wont be happy, or there is no good answer so I stay silent. He doesn’t care for either.
Therapy spankings- these are a MUST for me. In the past, before I knew about this kind, I was abused, lost,anxious,stressed. Once I learned what this type of spanking was. I realized how much I needed it. Has not a damn thing to do with sex. But it will keep me grounded. My life has many stressors, so 5-10 swats on my ass, I feel this euphoric feeling. Stress melting away. Balance is back, my attitude has been adjusted. I had some great friends (couple) after divorce that, would have me over weekly, just for this. I had pent up rage, so tying me down to a cross or spank bench was necessary. It could take about an hour. I didn’t feel any pain then, I was numb. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t cry. Just needed this release thst therapy spanking gave me. Eventually the couple saw how I never quite let the past go. And the therapy became harder. It was in my best interest. I finally broke down, yelled back, for the first time ever, used a safeword. Once I was unlocked I had to be carried to a nearby couch, where 4 subs would start aftercare. My backside was nearly ripped open, that’s how strong mentally I was. Even the Master who was helping cried, He was glad I could finally let that pain melt away. Now ,I can feel pain. I was a pain slut, once I got all the crap of the past out of my head, I’m a real girl now! I firmly believe in this type of spanking. It’s also maintenance for me. I do try to not discuss it with my Master, I try to handle things on my own. He’s busy, can’t do this everyday, but I do know there are days when He just turns me around and smacks my ass hard. My mind let’s go, my body is alert, but less stressed. It’s what I need.
Role play spankings – to be discussed before a scene takes place. Agreed upon by both parties. If you are an established couple in bdsm then at some point you don’t discuss it, you just know it might/might not be a part of a scene. For newbies, stick to discussing this. You need to agree to it. For people who don’t do pain, but have play partners, again stick to discussing it. With play partners you don’t give up your full rights, you have a say, plus if it’s not working for you, you don’t do pain. Say something. Always have a safe word, use it.
Hardcover spanking- yep you guessed it. This is for those special ones that like to give pain (sadists), and those who love to recieve (masochists). I get a safe word, I hardly use it. I like some pain. I used to be a pain slut, but working on my past, released that. I usually think to myself, that I can take whatever He will dish out, but He see’s that look in my eye or something, and says to me on a mental level ‘wanna bet?’. He wins everytime. Ok, a few times I can take it. Or He will warn before He starts this is how many I have coming, no He wont stop/I can’t stop it because I earned them and deserve each one. So ,depending on my attitude, He can and has added to the list once He started. Now He gives me a choice, beat my ass or take the hitachi, ( I hate the hitachi) I know many women who swear they love that fucker, I dont. Which was the reason I didn’t buy one when He ordered me to. I bought the jr. He finally wouldn’t take anything less than the real one. I have always hated them. And now when I ask to play, He will require that toy (His toy) and a video. He likes that I hate it, you have to see His face, he’s completely happy. He knows if it wasn’t a rule that I can’t move away from Him, I would be moving away from Him. When I ask to play it’s with my toys ,that I actually like!
With any kind of spanking, please make sure you are with an experienced spanker. This is truly important, as many things can go wrong. There are areas of permanent damage. You need someone who will learn your pain tolerance. You need proper care afterward, or if it opens up. You need to have your own spanking equipment, nothing shared. There are pieces of equipment that you can purchase, or have someone make. ( St. Andrews cross, spank benches) were what I was used to. My Master now, puts restraints on me and ties me to my bed, yes my bed is bdsm ready. There are many places/positions I can be tied in. Find what works for you. I am a babygirl, but I have never liked over the knee spankings. I find it a humiliating pose for spankings, but that’s just me. I know many babygirls who love it. The beauty of our lifestyle, to each his own. No judgment.
I hope this helps those who read my blog, wanted to know what maintenance spankings were. It just made sense to HIT on them all. Lol
Last but not least,
I don’t necessarily agree that you have to be married for this. But I do believe in this kind of life with having a Master. I think women can have all the rights they want, and cherish. But once you live together, or marry, you are His. This is called Domestic Discipline. It’s not abuse, so learn the difference. A man is the one in charge, I’m a firm believer of that. Women can be, if she’s a single mother, then you are in charge. Once my Master took over, I was no longer ‘single’, so my life is no longer my own. Granted we don’t live together, but if we ever do, this is the kind of thing I expect. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t care about you ,your feelings, or treat you well. It just puts the balance back into the relationship, back into the family. Men were to always be in charge. I think commercials on TV are horrible how they emasculate men. You also don’t have to agree with me. These are my personal beliefs. This is the kind of household I like. Plus I’m a bratty babygirl, this keeps the balance. And I hate being in charge.