How did He know…

One thing I’m not is a great communicator. I can write, text, but talk… Not really. I’m just not a big talker. 

Even though I’m like this, He makes me talk. It’s been a long road together, He says “what’s wrong?”, ” What’s on your mind?” Sometimes, honestly I’m not ready to talk, or I’m trying to figure out on my own thoughts ,if this is a big deal or not, what made me change? However, if He’s nearby He notices right away and wants me back to my happy self. I’m usually thinking, ‘ please give me a minute’. With Him, there are no minutes, it’s now. Wow, that’s hard. I have to quickly figure out what changed, why it changed. Some things in my head make no sense to me, so why share them. But I had no idea He was at work! Within me! He knows the abuse I suffered with my ex, thru my childhood. I didn’t even know He was paying attention. He’s been helping me this whole time. Wow. I respect Him so much for that, which adds to the love I feel for Him.

I can’t see the bigger picture here. I never do. Where I think I’m doing fine, He is trying to do His job as my Master. To be perfectly honest, no one before Him ever gave a shit that I was so quiet. In fact, I was judging my exes and past Dom’s for that, now that I think about it. It’s really the reason I knew it was never going to work with any of them. They only wanted sex, not the real me. How can you base any relationship on just sex, not even great sex. Well it wasn’t for me. Daddy will tell me it’s ok if I cared for them, or loved them ,it’s in the past. But to me those feelings weren’t there. I didn’t respect them, they didn’t respect me. I didn’t love them, none treated me with love. They cheated on me, I was crushed one more time and thinking there was something wrong with me. So, how could I ever love any of them. Love is something that I’ve been searching for , and didn’t seem to find. I didn’t tell these men that I loved them, it would have been a lie. I slightly cared about a few, but I knew in my heart it was nothing that was going to last forever. How did I know? I didn’t think about them all day, I didn’t miss them, barely texted, never called them. I didn’t even take any pics with them.  All of these things were different with Daddy! I know myself, I’m real with myself. I hope Daddy understands this better. 

I love sex, but if you can really reach me on a personal level, most haven’t, then what’s the point of having them in my life. I never understood how any of them thought I was enjoying the relationship. They knew nothing about me, nor cared to learn. What’s my favorite color, car, movie,etc… Daddy knows these answers! 

Right off the bat, my Daddy was different. He’s fun, adventurous, and expected me to talk. Now I was alert, omg, I have to talk finally. This has been so different, scary even. What if He doesn’t like what I have to say, or how I think. This kind of connection with Him made things very different between us from the start, and the sex has been mind blowing for me. I even have my orgasms back! I am multi orgasmic, always have been. But once I was married it disappeared in the first few months. Neither separation, nor divorce, or dating brought it back. But this one morning with Daddy OMG! It just happened! He stopped what He was doing, looked at me and said, ” Are you ok? What was that?” I politely smiled at Him, let Him know I was fine and that I’m multi orgasmic and hadn’t done that in a very loooooong time. It was true! I didn’t think I could do that anymore. I remember after Daddy left that morning, thinking to myself, ” I’m back, I’m me again!” I was hooked. I had no idea how this man brought that out in me again, but something was different and I was on a quest to figure it out. 

2 years later, I still can’t tell you why or how my body responds to Him, it just does! And damn it feels good! He loves it! I’m truly with the right person. I get to be with Him forever, I think my body enjoys that as well. Life is Good! And this is exactly how I judge men from my past. 

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Just a lil advice for any dominant

I’m not an expert on being a dominant, unless I’m in mom mode. Other than that it’s exhausting. I’m never sure why anyone would like it. But this world is full of dominants and submissives. 

My only piece of advice is let your submissive see you, the real you. Don’t be afraid that if we don’t see you as dominant 24/7 we would lose respect for you. We won’t. We need to see your flaws and all. We need to know you’re a real person with emotions, problems. I promise we don’t see you as weak, but that you trusted us, as we must trust you. It only serves to bring you much closer. My Daddy is like this with me. I respect Him so much for letting me be so close even when things are falling apart. 

He’s a human being, in a human world. I serve Him even better once He’s been so open with me. 

I dated dominants before Daddy, one thing Daddy has always done was just be real with me. I was shocked at first by this. I thought He was nuts, but then I saw a side to myself that I only reserved for friends, not one Dom in my life before Daddy got to see my very playful side. It just didn’t happen. Sometimes in this lifestyle I think we do get hung up on our roles that we fit in. We forget there are real people behind the titles. 

He might be my Master, but He could have had a bad day, anything could have happened to Him and as He lets me go thru things with Him I feel so close, more love for Him than I thought possible. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, what I have with my Daddy is rare and I’m fortunate enough to know that. 

Daddy taught me there’s a time to be His slave, and a time to be His babygirl. And sometimes just a bit bratty, but don’t push it. Who am I kidding,  I push that brat thing a lot. But then He balances it back out. Bends me over whatever furniture is closest and spanks me. Oh yeah I feel it. He’s even let me know He wouldn’t be afraid to spank me in public either, somehow I believe Him. I’m just don’t dumb enough to find out. 

I can tell in most situations what’s expected of me.  Slave, babygirl, woman at His side, biker girlfriend. A few times I don’t know what He’s wanting so slave position it is. He will do this ‘hot as fuck’ growl thing, tell me how beautiful I am as I am honoring Him , I bow for no one but my Daddy, He will stand in front of me, put His hands out for mine , as He guides me up. He lets me know how touched He is that I will honor Him no matter what, but then He looks at me and smiles and says:

“Tonight I don’t want that, I just need to hold you”. It’s like He reads me so well even when His day has gone to crap. I’ve always wanted to know how He knows I just needed to be held for the night. 

Omg, He just needs to hold me! I have value, I’m loved beyond all measure. Where did this man come from. I’m always so thankful He wants me! Billions of women on this planet and this man wants me. Wow.

So to all dominants, let her see the real you. Let her into your heart. Let her dance thru your soul. You just might meet the woman, umm submissive of your dreams! 

( This can go either way,I only write in female submission, not leaving anyone out). 

I hope I don’t overstep my boundaries with any dominant who does read my blog, I mean no disrespect. But I do like feeling close to my Daddy/Master. For the first time ever in this lifestyle and in real life, I’m complete.

Don’t treat your dominant like He’s one of your girlfriends

I can talk about anything in the world to my Master. He will clarify when I need it. But I don’t treat our time together like I do with my girls. It’s more respectful,  my demeanor is softer, my answers to Him come from a well thought out place in my heart and mind. Occasionally not the case if I’m upset. 

My Daddy has vowed to do things differently this time. We’ve both been married before, it went badly. We both feel that marriage is for us, but we are not official yet, we are taking our time. It shouldn’t  be rushed.

Recently,  my bff came over and we sat there just chatting about anything, and everything. Daddy was watching us! He looked at me and said, ” you’re adorable”. I smiled at Him,went back to talking non stop with my bff. I honestly didn’t know why He said that , I was just being me.

When Daddy and I are talking/sharing I don’t talk non-stop,  I don’t dominate the conversation.  I don’t show Him makeup,clothes, all thoughts in my head,  but with my girls it’s different. 

Daddy is my lover, my Master, my beast,  my best friend, my confidant. I can tell Him anything, I can tell Him my deepest, darkest secrets. There is no judgment from Daddy. He just listens. He may add insight where He feels I don’t see the whole picture.

This morning He did let me know He’s seen I’ve been stressed for months. Yes, I have been. Only because I can’t  figure a way out. I’m a smart woman, but I’m lost right now. How many jobs do I need to work so I can make It? Recently being hit hard with a huge bill,omg.  Where He says just do one day at a time, which I do not understand.  I tend to look at the whole thing, and then I can’t breathe. Maybe His way is better,  I know He teaches me things I can use in my life, all the time. 
I know He’s right, but I feel alone in a pile of debt, it’s growing, and I quit eating like over a week ago. I eat 3 bites and I’m done, the scale didn’t lie.  My daughter looks at me, “can’t eat? ” 

I shake my head no, I’m thinking to myself, ‘ no you small person, let me be’. 

I’m constantly involving Daddy, my tendency is to push everyone a way til I get this all figured out. But that won’t do anything  but hurt those who love and care about me. So one day at a fucking time it is, but I’m not happy. I want answers NOW. I am trying to so hard to be submissive in this, what a test it is.

He says don’t worry, I want Him to see what I see… huge debt.

He says one day at a time, I want Him to know I trying to handle it,  but He says we’ll do this together.

Together?  Foreign to me. Never had that when I was married. But by Friday Daddy and I are officially together,  a year and a half! I’ve had to learn this word. Damn it’s not easy. The person I married, some ive dated didn’t want details, didn’t want me talk, I know this because they let me know NOT to tell them.  I kind of expected Daddy to be the same. He’s not, not even close. 
Daddy wants me to talk about my feelings, what my thoughts are in the moment He asks for them. I’m used to staying silent,  but not with Him. He does take it personal if I don’t share.  I do look at the stress in His life, I’m thinking He already has so much, He doesn’t need my crap too. 

Where did this man come from? He’s like no other.  I figure either He’s gonna change me, but why does He care so much? I’m not used to this, even after all this time together. Will I ever get used to it?

I realize when I’m with my girls,  it’s usually a bitch session. Every female alive knows what I’m talking about. We bitch about our job, the kids, family,  other friends, even our man. But I can’t  bitch about Him, He doesn’t do anything worth bitching about. He has an ex that can get on my last nerve, and even work that one too. Yes I do bitch about her. But when I look at the big picture there, I really don’t have anything to complain about.  My friends seem jealous that I think my Daddy is pretty close to perfect. Be jealous bitches! I love you , but He’s mine!

But truth be told, Daddy is not like my girlfriends. Nor will I treat Him as such. If that works for you, great! If I were to treat Him as common, I would see Him differently,  and I’m not sure it would good for me. So I don’t cross that line.

I love you Daddy♡ thank you for alwsys showing me a better way to be. I know you want the best for me!

– His kitten

Confession is good for the soul, but not the ass 

I’m a babygirl, but I’m a brat too. I want lots of things in this great big world, but I really want my way! 

Wanting my way is not new to me. Getting my way, well that’s a whole other thing! Daddy is careful to find the balance between wanting and getting my way. Recently, Daddy has been very busy, He was not paying as much attention to this babygirl, I became very sad. 

Sad turned into bratty, turned into His lil monster. My first thought was He’s so busy ,and I was patient at first. The busier He got, the less of Him I got. I felt like even when I saw Him, i was only getting what was left. He seemed distracted. He was even on His phone more than usual. I did have Him physically, but He was a million miles away. At first, I tested my bratty theories, how much attention was He really paying me. All of a sudden I felt like I was right, we weren’t going anywhere together. If we spent time together it was in front of a tv., or Netflix and chill. I want more than sex, I love His company.

At first, I tiptoed around Him, Daddy is a beast. His growl is as bad as His bite. I started by saying snarky things when He was on His phone, such as; ” You wouldn’t be opposed to me having pop would you?” Daddy heard pop, which is something off limits. But what He didn’t hear was the whole question, the way I said it, NO was the answer I needed to get my way. This continued thru more things, I was trying to see if He heard me. He didn’t. He paid attention to what He thought I said, what He thought He heard. I knew I couldn’t do this at the wrong time. My Daddy, ladies and gentlemen, is a smart man, He’s always been 2 steps ahead of me, but I felt right now He had bit off more than He could chew. This wasn’t all the time for Him, cuz when I got His attention I really got it. I wasn’t doing this activity unless I felt it was fair, or justified. 

I knew also that I couldn’t keep it up long, I would lose respect for Him and myself. After a few things I’d try to tell Him before it got to big, but He was busy, I was about to tell Him one day but He had to go something came up, He asked if we could talk later, but it never happened. 

I was having a time getting pop, junk food. I got to go where I wanted, usually a movie, or a midnight run to fast food on weekends. I did shop, but then it hit me I would be hiding the stuff because Daddy is a smart man.  I knew if the ‘mouth from the south’ ( my daughter) knew anything or was with me ,Daddy would find out. I know this because I made the mistake of going to some stores with her and the moment she was in front of Him it was like she had diarrhea of the mouth. She was talking about where we went, what we bought. I tried to stop her, but He didn’t allow it. He looked most displeased.  I tightened my security, no more daughter, well at least not with me. I had Wednesdays if Daddy wasn’t around and every other weekend. I would give limited information on my whereabouts, be vague  ( I have some errands). I did have errands but i didnt hurry home, or just casually forget to say im home.

 I figured im not cheating, just doing things He wouldn’t approve of in a million years. The worst part is after seeing suicide squad 4 times, He was supposed to go with me, I really really wanted that shirt Harley Quinn was wearing, ‘Daddies lil Monster’. That was definitely me. I tried to buy it one day, figured id only wear it when Hes not around. But Daddy is not stupid by any means, He was just distracted. Plus if mouth from the south saw the shirt, Daddy would find out. The lady asked,” will that be all sweetie?”  I yelled at her, ” no, I can’t have it, He’s gonna find out.but I really want it, I even texted Him and asked for it, but do you think He would answer, no He hasn’t , He just ignored me again”. The lady looked at me like I lost my mind, but I really did want the shirt,  and I didn’t get it. But I was even more mad now cuz the busier He got ,the more it seemed He ignored me by not answering a small text. I would ask for pop, alcohol, junk food… no text, I felt I didn’t even matter. Could someone be that busy?

I went to my friends and said He won’t answer a text. They agreed that after all this time together a simple text would be nice, but that when Daddy was busy, He was busy. It was really nothing new. Ok, I get that. But I’m feeling very lonely, ignored, like maybe I don’t matter. You’re Daddy has always been one to be sporadic on weekends, that was His time. He would answer as He chose to. My friends asked if I asked to talk to Him, tell Him how I was feeling? No.i didn’t.  Oh yeah, you’re the one that doesn’t talk, you like pushing everyone away since you’ve been hurt so much. Was that true? Did I do That? Was I pushing Daddy away since I was feeling so bad? I needed to think about this. My friends told me to tell Him, I’m not good at being guilty, I suck at it. They said once I tell Him it will all be ok, I felt a certain peace about it, cuz a month of feeling guilty was to much for me.
There were a few weekends that I was all by myself, nothing to do. My girls were all busy. Daddy was doing fun and interesting things. There is nothing worse then this babygirl being alone with nothing to do. I did try to text Daddy,  but I waited and waited,  now I felt ignored. I drank my ass off, I played ,by myself of course,  but nonetheless it was without permission.  

The guilt was eating me alive.  I vowed one night to tell Him everything,  but then His phone rang, it was like a 30 minute call. By the time He was done I felt justified not saying a damn word. It was just me and my secret. 

The hardest part is that Daddy knows me well. ” what’s on your mind babygirl? You have that look you get”. A few times I did start crying, work and life had some big struggles for me. The lawyer over a part of my life was not going well. Work, if i did work, seemed like was not working everyday. That was stressful. I lost a lot of money all at one time. I was going to sleep at night, in tears, cuz I couldn’t figure out how it would all work. Daddy tried to console me, but my thought was ; ‘ you’re just going to kill me when you know everything,  I won’t have to deal with it all, I’ll be dead’.  My blood pressure was sky high from it all, worst thing was I wasn’t taking the meds. I hadn’t in months. I really enjoyed Him holding me at that moment, so it wasn’t a good time to tell. For me, I need to feel close to Him. Not constantly, but any disconnect scares me, I take it badly. 

Confession time. Daddy had things He wanted to talk about, I had no idea if He knew anything about my activity. I even had a dream that He put a tracker on my phone. Thankful it was just a dream. After we talked, guilt ran through my body, I wondered if this was the right time to tell Him? He was being so honest with me about something private. I decided to just listen. What I heard was Daddy had messed up to. But He knew I mattered to Him very much, thats why we were talking. To get back on track. I wanted that very much, but I knew we couldn’t get back on track until I told Him everything. It was already a trying day, so much to process, and I don’t process at lightning speed, but I was up very late trying to do that. It was very important. I thought we were supposed to see each other the next day. We didn’t. I did think about leaving it all in a text, run away from home. Live under an assumed name, change jobs. But those darn kids love Him, I do to!

Time to face the music. I was quite worried , how do you tell a beast , face to face, that I was mad at you and rather than ask to talk ( I’m not good at, but I have to now) I just decided to hurt you, cuz  I felt you hurt me. I had this brilliant speech all prepared, I think I even had charts. I knew tears wouldn’t be helpful, but some might fall cuz this is my Daddy.  I was going to let Him know that stuff He told me i felt on a scale of 1-10 , Daddys was like a 9, I felt justified that mine was more of a 6 or 7. 

Face to face changed everything. I’m that moment before I spoke,  I was thinking it would be great to be Charlie,  from Charlie’s angels,  I could speak thru a box from an undisclosed location. He was looking at me, waiting for me to speak, ready to listen. My brilliant speech left my head. All that came out was , “Daddy I’ve been doing lots of things, and you’ve been so busy you know none of it.” His face hardened a bit, but He kept talking and eating , He had this nice tone as He spoke,  which made me feel oddly peaceful, enough to tell Him everything. EVERYTHING. I told why I felt justified in doing this sort of activity. Now I felt our talk was going well. I was so surprised, and felt the weight of the world off my shoulders. I finally looked Him in the eye, uh oh, that look didn’t seem good. I sized up the situation, Could I make it to the door,  get through it, and out the front door before He could grab me? My fight or flight instincts were kicking in, maybe He saw me panic which was why when He started walking towards me the gap to getting out the door was closing in fast.  Before I knew it He was on me, one hand on me, the other on His belt. I was thinking well that is not fair. You mess up and no one spanked you. But I mess up and I get beat. A smile came across my face. I knew in that moment I was loved. He showed restraint, I’m alive! But I was smiling, not out of disrespect,  but out of love for Him. I respected Him more at that moment cuz He wasn’t about to let me continue what I was doing.  I didn’t want Him to go. He is my first love. But I knew I deserved it, and with each smack of the belt on my ass I felt how much He loves me!  I spent the next few days feeling great, I knew I was still in trouble, but my Daddy knew everything, no more hiding stuff. I even reminded Him about a question He used to ask me on a weekly basis . He said He stopped cuz He liked giving me some freedom and letting me be a person and in charge of myself, not a slave all the time. I wondered if next time He could just say that. I like freedom, but tell me first so I don’t think I’m just being ignored,or not cared for. 
We did realize our communication needs some work. We are back on the same page! And we want to stay there!

I won’t break His trust

He knows I have my bratty ways. I love being playful to the point of putting a toe over His line to see if He’s still paying attention. 

He’s always paying attention.  

But there are times when I need Him to know, especially right now as things are changing for us individually and as a couple. He should know I take this seriously. I will not push Him. Not disrespect Him. I will not make Him ashamed of me. I will speak at the right moment. I will be the epitome of a slave and His ‘ol lady in that moment. I don’t want Him to have regrets. Nor do I want Him to feel pushed to the point He needs to correct me Then and there. I know He would if He had to. But my job is to not ever, ever forget my place. Even when its ‘our’ home. I won’t forget.

I do have complete respect for Him. I signed up for this, and fully knew what I said yes to. If at any time I feel upset, or angry I will push it aside and ask for a time when it can be addressed.  I know He will give me that moment, He always does. Between all His roles He now has, one thing rings clear, His family is important to Him. Me and the kids mean everything to Him. 

I hope He has seen in the past that I try to wait for the best moment to give Him the reason for the problem I have. He is usually the one that makes me say it right then and there. I’m sure if there is  club things we attend together, He will never have to worry about me embarrassing Him, speaking at the wrong time, or even saying the wrong thing.  I’m to good a woman for that, and my love runs very deep.  This man is the man I want to come home to every night. Share a life with Him. Be His best friend. Confidant if He needs me to be, that any secret thing He tells me shall go to my grave. That no matter what, I’ve got His back, as He’s had mine. We build each other up. Can tell each other anything. But most of all He needs to know I respect Him. 

I want Him to think about these things. That we have had disagreements before and once we are in public I never spoke out of turn, never brought it up again, I didn’t make Him feel less than. He did approach me with caution once. We had just had a bad disagreement, and we still wanted to see each other.  The moment He entered the restaurant we were both sort of quiet. He kept looking at me like He was waiting for more of the fight.  I recall He even said something to the effect,

” So, you’re done with that subject,  noting more?”

I looked Him straight in the eye, “Yes, there is no more to say. You let me speak, you let me say what I needed to say. I’m no longer angry I let it go.”

I’m gonna say it took Him a few minutes to believe me. But I was being honest. My anger was done. I move on quickly. Nothing hurts a relationship worse than a female holding onto shit. Let it go. Ok, i did hold on to a few things, but there was no anger attached to them, but i did present them as facts and at a proper moment not just out of nowhere. There are good reasons why certain subjects have come up more than once, but that is neither here nor there. I do watch Him closely after I’ve aired my grievances. Sometimes not so lovely, or tactfully.  I noticed that He’s trying to show me that what I thought to be , wasn’t.  And there is an end in sight. So my irritation has been extinguished.  He made me feel very important. I’m so happy. See why I love Him… Only a man who loves and respects you as His property would do that.

I must repay that. In my world that means learning the ways of an ‘ol lady,  making Him proud. Being the slave I know I am, cuz He’s worth it. I don’t want Him to ever worry about my behaviour.  Now any woman step at me, or want my man, that to me is a whole different story. But He will need to address that. I’m sure He will. Cuz I’ll be ready to make any female pay. 

Enough said, you get my point. 

-babygirl

Miss independent no more

I must say I’ve learned a lot in my life, how to be independent is one of those things. Whether married or not I was still me, independent.  Life taught me that I could count on one person, and that person was me. 

But I noticed a new phase of my life opening up. I was talking to my oldest child recently and even he said he noticed. He said he could tell I have let my walls down and let my Daddy fully in my life. I was excited about that, that someone else could see it without me telling them. I knew it and I am scared but so happy to finally let someone in. 

I thought I was hurt beyond repair, that no one would get through my walls, the moat,  poisonous snakes, guard dogs… well you get it. Would anyone ever have the patience to help me let them in. I’m so thankful for my Daddy, He is a patient man, He shows me so much tenderness , love, respect,and care. I know I will never be loved  by anyone in this world, like my Daddy. 

Here’s why, this mere man has  such strength, He noticed how hurt I’ve been and approached me slowly, gave me time to feel safe so I could prepare to let Him in. He waited patiently for me to come to Him with my life and lay it before Him, He has let me take baby steps to get to Him. I’m sure some days He might want it to go faster, but He’s actually told me that my slow ways are good for Him too. I wasn’t trying to be impossible, i was trying to understand that He wasnt going to bail on me emotionally/ physically.  That I didn’t have to be fearful of more pain(abuse). Not the Good kind, or His discipline.lol 

What I’ve learned is this. I was barely living before Him. Yes, I was independent, but I wasn’t balanced in my life. I took that as He wanted to hurt me by showing my weak areas. Now, I welcome that. As I know He has my best interest at heart. He knows I’ve struggled with losing weight, drinking, worrying , I’ve got areas that I’m weak in. Not that I’m so fat, I’m chunky, but not happy. I noticed I want to just give up and realize I don’t see the weight changing much no matter what I’ve done, but I didn’t give 100%, and He knows it.  but His job is to not let me put things in the back burner, He makes me face it. He will let me handle things, but give advice not criticize.  He doesn’t let me give up on myself, Lord knows I’ve waited for Him to put me down, He’s not done that once. It feels so good. How much He loves me! I guess He could tell I’m fragile in a few areas. 

As we’ve grown together I’ve learned so much, even that I can count on Him. That feels great! I was able to not be so independent anymore and give Him more control, that took trust. He is so worth that. I like knowing I don’t have to have all the answers, there is someone else there who can help. The pressure that it takes off my shoulders to know that. It took a while for that to sink in, only because both exes before Daddy were nothing like that. I was always in charge. They taught me not to trust, not to let anyone in because no one really cared, or wanted in. But Daddy taught me different lessons. Ones that have helped me. 

So where am i at now: well I’m not independent,  and damn that feels good. I can still do my life, take care of things, but there’s  someone I answer to, Daddy. For about close to a year He’s talked about living together. I think He starts early with me so I can get things through my head, really get used to the idea. I’m finally ready, still patient in the When, but with Daddy I’ve noticed He is always does things in my perfect timing. So it’s just knowing that it’s happening. I did figure since I’ve finally gotten on board maybe looking at home stores would be a good idea. How do we want to decorate! Daddy says we can go look, yay! 

Where am i on the future: I was lost. But Daddy told me His plans, honestly they matched mine , I just didn’t want to sound stupid and assume He would like my idea. I’m glad He spoke first. Some days I swear He’s a bit of a mind reader. Either that, or He knows me so well by now that He gets what I can/can’t handle. I also felt I screwed up at marriage before. Everyone in my family has been divorced. I don’t know what a healthy relationship/ marriage looks like. I’m not against learning. Just show me the way.  I want Daddy in my life forever. As I was talking to my son I realized I’m so attached and invested to my Daddy I can’t handle the thought of Him not being in my life. I nearly hyperventilated. The other side of this is that I finally get to be the slave of someone I fully love/loves me. I get to live how ive always imagined. Nothing feels better than that. I want to serve, take care of Daddy. I was born to do that. Its fulfills me. I have purpose. I’m not alone anymore. The kids are great, but reality is kids will grow up and move on with their lives, with 1 being an exception,  we will see what happens with him, Daddy is my family now. I don’t have anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. I got some friends. I’m actually quite happy now. My life has a path. I feel secure, safe with Daddy. 

Happiness is- My life♡

Thank you Daddy 
-babygirl

Studying, but there won’t be a test.

Now that’s my kind of studying! I’m actually researching a certain subject. Now that Daddy has joined an ‘MC’ , soon He will be patched in, ( so proud!) And I will be His ‘Ol lady’ at first not wild about the term, but since it’s universally used I’m not targeted as the only one! Thankful! I’m still not used to ( another word I hate that my son gave me when he knocked up his ex-gf). 

So, my research has been good for me. I want to make Him proud. Even when I entered the LS years ago I studied to be the best slave, just how I am. This has been quite interesting,  but there’s not lots of info, wish there was more. I did come across some women who wrote rules for ‘Ol ladies’ and just like our lifestyle,  they seem to be strict, ways to respect Him and His club ( I’m not a member, He is), I think He will be giving me more rules just as His slave in this new role in our lives. Here’s what I found. I don’t remember the site ( sorry, wish I did). 

* this is NOT my writing, but it’s very well written*

These are all well thought out. If adhered to they show a very respectful woman. One that will make Him proud. Now add in that Daddy and I also live the lifestyle, this will make for an interesting life together. Hard part for me will be NOT calling Him ‘Daddy ‘ near club members when I’m allowed to be with Him. I’m sure that my Daddy already has His speech prepared,

“Babygirl now hear  this…” I can hear  it now from Him. A long lecture on the evils of pissing off Daddy, and the biker part of Him. What will happen to me. He’s just itching to try out some new sadist thoughts He has. I swear He doesn’t sleep , He just thinks and recharges. 

I’m hoping that I won’t be in trouble in front of others. But knowing my Daddy,  He never cares who’s around listening, watching He just acts. I’m usually wondering what ppl think , will they call the cops, but then when He’s got me in His grip and I’m in trouble, those thoughts melt away quick,  especially once I’m wet.  Gotta respect a man who can handle His woman right then and there. I doubt He’s gonna change that for anyone, law is no exception.

I can see Him explaining His side to the law. 

“Officer, she’s a god damn brat. You can’t let her get her way for a second. Not even a nano second, I need to be on top of the shit she does, sometimes before she does it. That is NOT abuse, it’s hard work. No, there is no other woman I want but her! She’s the girl I will punish, beat, spank, torture for the rest of our lives. See, I’m not the bad one, she is.” * it would go something like this*  And the smooth talker Daddy is the cop would shake His hand, and just as I’d be thinking I’m gonna be protected from Daddy, the cop shake tell  Daddy is an amazing man for getting at least one brat off the street. 

Ok, I have quite the imagination!  But knowing my Daddy it would happen something  like that. 

Point still being, I want Him to be proud of me. 

☆babygirl